Would you consider having surveillance camera at home?

[elaine]

i love eating with hands so it is not an issue in my household. it is the other way around. my helper using the utensils and me - using my hands.

anyway, back to the original question. we thought long and hard about it and in the end, decided not too. we are counting our lucky stars we hired a great helper.

 

[LeahH]

original question: we wouldn't have a camera from a 'surveillance' perspective, it might be nice to have a 'skype' set up so you can see/chat with your toddler from work on occasion though!

Our helper is an extension of my husband and I when we are not there - with regard to everything - discipline, what does and does not happen etc. Anything we do, I'm fine with them doing (they are as clean as we are!) for consistency and because I trust them and respect their judgement (even if sometimes we disagree on some aspects of child rearing from a cultural standpoint - a session of controlled crying nearly broke my helpers heart!).

That also extends to deciding when my toddler leaves somewhere - I don't want to raise a little 'HK Tyrant' that orders their helper/nanny around and makes demands that are instantly gratified..

to Slamdunk's other point re the education levels of DH's, I totally agree - my helpers are massively overqualified (to clean my house and nanny) - something I'm incredibly grateful for.

 

[radicalmum]

Hmmm... hope we are not slamming at cultures or educational differences in this thread.

My initial intention is to hear from the rest of you mummies on your thought regarding having cameras at home, not on how much bad things could happen when we are not around... (come on, let's not stress ourselves out unnecessarily please. I'm sure most mummies here have their hand full of list of things to do and worry about)

I'm happy with my helper but just alittle confused about her being too "motherly" in her own ways, which hey, perhaps ain't such a bad thing... suspicions, mystery or not, i guess i have to put in more time and effort in coaching my helper.. it's a 2 way thing, i did some reflection and i realize that i'm too easy going and my helper perhaps though she could improvise on my preference..

I'm going to have more initiative in taking part in things i wanted her to do, like mentioned from the other threads. i could start writing down what have baby been fed and what time and etc on a kitchen whiteboard and get her to help me follow up when i'm out.

Many thanks to you mummies insights. After much thought, i pretty much agreed on the neutral approach. Perhaps like LeahH idea, i could get my helper to video call me when baby is up and vice versa. I guess this 2 way approach could put my mind at rest and justify my helper's pride and respect.

Heeeee.

 

[Matty]

I'll start by saying that I know that I'm very fortunate, as my helper is amazing, and we actually consider her a part of the family.

I don't know how you could develop a trusting relationship with a helper if you use a camera.

I think you can tell how your helper treats your children when you aren't around, simply by the relationship they have with each other.
I see how my helper is with my children, and she genuniely loves them.
I'm sure that if she was mistreating them when I wasn't around I would know.
As it is, my 11 mths olds face lights up when he sees her, and happily stretches out his arms to go to her.
My 2.5 year old often wants a random hug from her, and includes her in his bedtime list of people he loves.
If my children seemed frightened of her, then I would suspect something was up.

I've had not so great helpers before, and my advice to people is if you have any reservations about your helper, find yourself one that you are comfortable with.

 

[Suv]

Radical Mum: I "made" my helper follow my parenting style so to speak. She loves taking care of the baby. So I would not let her handle the baby if she doesn't do it my way. Its easy to hand the baby to them when you are really tired or you really need 5 min break from a grumpy baby and they are a willing/ excited and very capable caretakers. It takes patience and a some extra effort. I would watch her bathe the baby, or play or put the baby to sleep or calm him down. Correct her then and there or take the baby if you feel its not the right way. For eg, Explain to her why you want your baby to learn to sleep without rocking. I have to say that watching her- even I have learnt a few things from her about baby care. She is so calm that the baby almost always manages to give her an ounce of a smile even when he is tired and cranky. I am really thankful for it.

 

[Suv]

Indian food should not be eaten with forks and knives. Takes away entire pleasure of eating it.

For those who find it yuck/ gross.... my grandfather taught me how to enjoy mangoes.... slurp the juice running down your hands because fingers are busy holding the fruit and you cannot waste a single drop!! I feel so sad for you guys.

 

[Frenchy]

If we ever come to hire a helper, it's because we'll trust her enough, and preferably when our son will be able to express himself. I guess that if he's not happy or anything happens he would tell us... then a camera wouldn't be useful anymore to know that she has to leave.
I think we have higher expectations with the helpers than for ourselves, things we do they should do it better, and things we don't they should do it anyway !
I agree with Suv, a lot of food has a much better taste eaten with fingers

 

[mumto2]

Mmm, such a difficult question...I don't have a helper and won't ever have one. BUT if I entertained the idea of having one, I do actually think I would have a camera - if only so I could say at the end of the day that I did everything possible to protect my home - you know? I understand that there is a level of trust that you simply must have when you hire someone to help you with your children but I still think personally I would feel better knowing I had "extra eyes". I do think though that once your children are older, the way they act around your helper will be indicative enough of what kind of job they are doing. Before that though, before your child can speak and let you know, you need to protect them. Best of luck.

 

[gotham]

New to Geobaby and new to HK in general. Great to see so many opinions. Here's my 2 cents. When I hired my nanny in the US, I setup a 3 camera system before she started work. One in the living/play area and the other in the kids bedrooms. No hidden/spy cameras, just regular infrared cameras --so everything is out in the open. I explained to the nanny that the cameras were there to watch over my 3 kids (age 3 and newborn twins). The cameras served a dual purpose. First to watch the nanny and second to watch the kids as they slept or played.

The nanny turned out to be the most caring person and best person to take care of my kids. The kids loved her and she loved them. We were sad when she could not follow us to HK. After 2 years with us she was part of the family. She called us 10 times the first week we moved to HK. She even visited us in HK at her expense just to see the kids. Great person with a great heart.

So what did the camera catch? A caring nanny who did her job correctly. Was the camera system worth it? Yes, because it gave us peace of mind the first few months.

We eventually stopped using the cameras to watch the nanny because we developed trust. However, the cameras did not go to waste. During the night, we used the cameras to monitor our kids sleeping. We did not need to run to their rooms everytime they were fussing to see what was happening. We just looked at the monitor to see if they were safe. We even saw them standing in the crib for the first time via the cameras. We watched them try to walk along the crib railing. It is amazing what you could see them doing early in the morning.

 

[aussiegal]

Indian food should not be eaten with forks and knives. Takes away entire pleasure of eating it.

For those who find it yuck/ gross.... my grandfather taught me how to enjoy mangoes.... slurp the juice running down your hands because fingers are busy holding the fruit and you cannot waste a single drop!! I feel so sad for you guys.

I think you're confusing the issue. What many of us find gross is not feeding ourselves with our own hands but our helper feeding our children with their own hands. I was in the playground yesterday and saw helpers feeding themselves with their own hands then and without washing their hands, feeding the children they were looking after. That is gross whatever anyone says. And I'm not talking about giving them a slice of fruit which is obviously ok, I'm talking about real, cooked food that there was no reason they couldn't have used a spoon to feed with.