I was more thinking of if she did squat on the toilet to wee, the young boy would have clear view of her nether regions, which would not happen if she went normally. Maybe I am a prude and not have sons at the moment to speak from experience, but I wouldn't want my son, if I have one, to see that.
Would you consider having surveillance camera at home?
- Thread starter radicalmum
- Start date
Getting back to the original question, just thought I'd share my experience. We had the same sitter from the time our baby was about 6 months, and he always seemed happy when I got home so I never worried about her. ( I was only gone for 3 hours one afternoon per week). But then when he turned 10 months he started crying hard as soon as he saw her and crawling over to me and clinging to me desperately. I was pretty sure this was just a separation anxiety phase, but after several weeks of the same behavior I did start to wonder. Not that I thought she was abusing him, since there were no marks or bruises, but maybe she was jsut letting him cry or leaving him in the crib, etc. So after some debate I set up an audio recorder when I left one day (didn't have a camera). I did feel like I was invading her privacy and I felt some guilt about that, but I decided my need to feel ok about my son's treatment trumped the privacy issue for me. And I felt great about what I heard--he only cried for a few minutes, and she was very soothing to him, singing and talking. And then I heard them playing, again, with lots of singing and talking and giggling and I never worried about her since! He still cries when I leave, but I can hear that even before I get on the elevator he stops. Anyway, the one-time recorder was very reassuring to me as a new mom, and I don't regret it. If I had heard anything questionable, I would have let the sitter go.
radicalmum
Registered User
Hello mummies,
thank you so much for all the inputs. i've decided not to install it for now until i go back to work fulltime.
to address my previous issues, i've been spending more time on my helper as well and she is beginning to understand what i wanted for baby. So i'm generally fine with things now, at the same time very happy that we got to know each other better.
I also think letting them know what they are doing is right, wrong and praising their efforts more often does help them to keep up the good work.
If i ever is going back to work, i would certainly install the camera simply to see my baby blossom everyday. The small things i would missed when i'm not home. And i'm sure my helper would be more than happy to help me get involved with this if i gave her ample confidence and involvement with the it.
Also, i would agree now with the other mummies that if i'm uncomfortable with my baby alone with a helper, perhaps it's time to change one. I guess, there will be more issues here and there along the way but oh well, one step at a time. Things don't happen overnight most of the time anyways.
=)
thank you so much for all the inputs. i've decided not to install it for now until i go back to work fulltime.
to address my previous issues, i've been spending more time on my helper as well and she is beginning to understand what i wanted for baby. So i'm generally fine with things now, at the same time very happy that we got to know each other better.
I also think letting them know what they are doing is right, wrong and praising their efforts more often does help them to keep up the good work.
If i ever is going back to work, i would certainly install the camera simply to see my baby blossom everyday. The small things i would missed when i'm not home. And i'm sure my helper would be more than happy to help me get involved with this if i gave her ample confidence and involvement with the it.
Also, i would agree now with the other mummies that if i'm uncomfortable with my baby alone with a helper, perhaps it's time to change one. I guess, there will be more issues here and there along the way but oh well, one step at a time. Things don't happen overnight most of the time anyways.
=)
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We have cameras in our home, ostensibly to watch our child whilst we are at work, but they have been helpful in terms of picking up some issues relating to the care of our child. Firstly, I noted that when my child asks for fruit and the helper has been sweeping, cleaning in the bathroom there is no hand washing before the fruit is prepared. This is despite the fact that I have reiterated the importance of this many, many times. Also it is usually hard to determine, because unless you wish to hang out in the kitchen whilst your dinner is being prepared, you can't really know if hands are being washed (after like blowing your nose) and more often than not there are not (probable similar to what happens in restaurants here right?). Now my helper knows that I can see it, she does try a little bit harder but did seem resentful when I brought it up.
Secondly, and more importantly, we have huge windows and are on a high floor with no window grills. I have asked the helpers never to open the windows in the house, yet I knew they were because the window handles were always in different positions when I checked. As the helper is not with my toddler 100% of the time, as I am not when I look after her (one may duck out to get something to eat from the kitchen, answer the front door ect), I considered it a significant safety risk, despite their claims that they always were with my child. After evidence that the windows were indeed being opened, I sorted the problem once and for all and had locks installed on all the windows and took away all the keys, so that's the end to that.
End of the day, you can not be sure that the way you wish something to be done is done to your specifications, and some rules are in place for a good reason even if others (my husband included, he is local and lived in high rises with no grill windows all his young life and he's still alive!!!) believe that you are being over cautious, and won't follow them. A camera can help you mitigate these risks, or when you find out about the problem, at least manage them.
Finally, one further comment, at the end of the day I am generally happy with my helpers, whom I trust and whom I think are kind hearted BUT I do think that most mums who leave their children with helpers or any carer tend to actively look for reasons to trust (self satisficing) as they have to, because at the end of the day, if you don't talk yourself into believing that your helper/carer is trustworthy than you really would be the worst sort of mum, deliberately leaving your child in the hands of someone who could/would harm them.
Secondly, and more importantly, we have huge windows and are on a high floor with no window grills. I have asked the helpers never to open the windows in the house, yet I knew they were because the window handles were always in different positions when I checked. As the helper is not with my toddler 100% of the time, as I am not when I look after her (one may duck out to get something to eat from the kitchen, answer the front door ect), I considered it a significant safety risk, despite their claims that they always were with my child. After evidence that the windows were indeed being opened, I sorted the problem once and for all and had locks installed on all the windows and took away all the keys, so that's the end to that.
End of the day, you can not be sure that the way you wish something to be done is done to your specifications, and some rules are in place for a good reason even if others (my husband included, he is local and lived in high rises with no grill windows all his young life and he's still alive!!!) believe that you are being over cautious, and won't follow them. A camera can help you mitigate these risks, or when you find out about the problem, at least manage them.
Finally, one further comment, at the end of the day I am generally happy with my helpers, whom I trust and whom I think are kind hearted BUT I do think that most mums who leave their children with helpers or any carer tend to actively look for reasons to trust (self satisficing) as they have to, because at the end of the day, if you don't talk yourself into believing that your helper/carer is trustworthy than you really would be the worst sort of mum, deliberately leaving your child in the hands of someone who could/would harm them.