Would you consider having surveillance camera at home?

[radicalmum]

Apart from her stepping over the line with her own parenting preference, both my husband and i are generally happy with her and her work. She's only with us for 7 months, i guess these helper-employer relationship takes time to build...

As long as i don't find evidences of baby's welfare being slacked upon, i won't be that quick in firing her.

 

[slamdunk]

i agree that if you need cameras to 'spy' on your helper at home (whether with her knowledge or not) then you need a new helper. there would definitely be an erosion of trust and any 'bad' helper would always work around the surveillance to do what they want to do anyway. for a good helper, it's not a simple case of 'well there's nothing to worry about then" because there could be resentment on the loss of privacy doing their job...

 

[Little Monster]

Definitely a big yes to this subject.

Personally I can't convince myself to have an un-educated stranger (most of the case) from a developing country to raise my little one with no supervision from a family member. Yes, some may have a loving heart, but the cultural difference and the way of life difference may end up in a big clash. Sharing the same spoon and plate, and feeding with their hands may not be a big issue for them as for Indonesians they do eat with their bare hands, but for us, GROSS!!! I will never allow things of similar nature happen.

I will for sure install cameras in my home if I decide to go back to work again. I really can't trust a stranger 100% especially with my little one alone with her. You never know what they will do to your precious prince / princess at your back. Recently read an article about the common witchcrafts DHs will do to their employers just to make the employers like them or listen to them or not to give them a hard time. Gosh, very gross and scary. I will tell her in advance just to be fair to her and will simply tell her that I miss my baby so much that I want to see him any time I want to. So, with knowing that she is anytime being monitored, she will not dare not to follow our way of doing the work.

by the way, I will not install camera in her toilet and her room.

 

[babymommy2]

I have never had a helper and I don't think I would ever want one. I have used day homes in the past, similar in that it si one person looking after a child in their home, so no other adults around, unlike daycare where there are lots of people. I was not comfortable with it, hence now am a stay at home mom. We had a situation where the woman seemed great, caring, no major problems, but our child fell down the stairs. We only knew of it because my husband was arriving when it happened, and luckliy it was only 4 stairs, so not hurt. The woman did not inform her agency, or fill out any of tthe paperwork she should have, and wasn't willing to change gates. We left. I also agree that peopel tend to parent your child the way they would prefer when youa re not around. My babies never took bottles or sippy cups, only drank out of a regular cup. This same woman repeatedly tried to get my son to drink out of a sippy cup, even though I told her he never would, and she never did get him too, but she should have trusted I knew what I was talking about. I think getting a camera is a good idea, even if you toitally trust your dh. The thing I missed the most when I worked, was the tiny little things that you miss out on, what they say, what they do, cute things that happen. With a camera you could see some of that.

 

[slamdunk]

Little Monster, there are many helpers who are BETTER educated than their employers here with many university graduates. They work in HK because of the economical situation in their own country where professionals are paid less than what we pay our helpers here.

Perhaps its overgeneralising about how eating with bare hands is 'for us, GROSS' . The whole of the western DEVELOPED world eats stuff like pizza and KFC even canapes with their hands/fingers - is this also gross?

There are lots of stories about witchcraft, bad behaviour, swindlings and abuse by DH but no one reports all the contribution they make in HK community and family life - because that doesn't make juicy reading...

 

[southside852]

the first few posts seem like very extreme cases and we love our helper. i trust her to take care of my son. i agree with what carang has said....obviously, nothing is like mommy/daddy care, but if you cannot trust a helper who is living with you, then you should not have a helper at all. we feel like being able to afford a helper here (we've never had one) is a luxury as it allows us to spend more quality time with our son and with eachother. while i would never condone sharing of the same spoon as our son and drinks, she has made our lives so much easier.

To fault those who have them and who treat them like another member of the family, is ludicrious in ignorant.

 

[joyofliving]

In my opinion it would best that everyone sticks to answering the original query or expressing their own experiences/ opinions instead of starting a heated discussion or condemning what others have written. It just leads to unpleasantness.

 

[HK2008]

My hubby and I used to laugh at the idea of having a camera to 'monitor' the helper. We always quote some ancient Chinese master once said(to the effect): if you don't trust someone, don't employ them; if you have employed someone, trust them(用人不疑, 疑人不用). However, after being more experienced in the helper domain, now we keep an open mind.

Of course as someone already noted here, if a helper is bad, she can always do something bad not in front of the camera. So a good helper does not fear of having a camera installed. Like mine who said, Mam I want you to have a camera, because if some unfortunate accident happened, I want you to know how exactly it happened. It'll save me explaining to you in detail and you may not believe what I said...

I think it also makes a difference whether some employer or other family member is around the house all the time. If I go back to work, I honestly would feel more comforting to be able to see how they spend the day, especially wanting to know that everything is ok. Believe me I have high level of trust with my helper(she is better and more patient than me around my children). However, I'd like to gain even more confidence with the help of a camera.

 

[carang]

about eating with the hands...yes, eating something like spaghetti bolognese would be gross... but as mentioned before pizza, chicken, sushi (sorry, i cannot manage that with chopsticks) etc is ok...


but again, back to the original question....

 

[Neha]

also indian chappattis cannot eat with fork and knife