Shenzhennifer
Registered User
No one said you were wrong
Would you consider having surveillance camera at home?
- Thread starter radicalmum
- Start date
joyofliving
Registered User
If I do something, doesn't mean the helper can do that too. I don't feed my daughter with my hands except biscuits or toast etc. I sometimes do eat from the same spoon/ plate as my daughter since I AM HER MOTHER. If she is tired and wants to go home I don't trick her or play games with her so that I can chat with my friends, I take her home.
I would install a camera if/ when I hire a helper or if I am suspicious of her behaviour or if after being sure she has been treating my child badly and been warned about it I feel she is still continuing with her old ways.
Cara your helper seems to be "God sent"
I would install a camera if/ when I hire a helper or if I am suspicious of her behaviour or if after being sure she has been treating my child badly and been warned about it I feel she is still continuing with her old ways.
Cara your helper seems to be "God sent"
carang
Registered User
and if i was told that my helper was mistreating my children, i don't think i would give a second chance...
and although my helper isn't perfect (i certainly don't expect her to be), i do thank my lucky stars everyday for having someone i can trust take care of my kids. also, something to consider, both hubby and i work different than "normal" hours. hubby is often home throughout the day. i am home early and some days, i start late. that may explain a lot.
and although my helper isn't perfect (i certainly don't expect her to be), i do thank my lucky stars everyday for having someone i can trust take care of my kids. also, something to consider, both hubby and i work different than "normal" hours. hubby is often home throughout the day. i am home early and some days, i start late. that may explain a lot.
my colleague just sent me a video clip of helper abusing a child, dont' know where she got it from, but it definitely makes me very , very angry with the helper.. really want to.. &^&^%&^^%^$$%$$#$#!!!!!
don't know how to post the video clip here, though..
if u want to see or help me post, please pm me.
thanks
don't know how to post the video clip here, though..
if u want to see or help me post, please pm me.
thanks
btw,, i would never want a helper, if i really do need one,, then i must have a surveillance camera at home. true, you can't stop abuse.. if there is.. having a camera.. but knowing is always better than not knowing..
u know, u can stop it asap, and poor child suffered once, if you dont know, it may happen over and over again.
u know, u can stop it asap, and poor child suffered once, if you dont know, it may happen over and over again.
If you "think" your helper is not doing as you want or abusing your child, you should just terminate her employment. 1) I think there is usually no smoke without fire and 2) even if there is no real fire, the trust is gone already and you need to trust her to look after your child. Installing a camera in these circumstances would just show her you do not trust her and you will still wonder what she is doing in the areas where you cannot see.
As for helpers who are abusive, I think most of the time, you can tell from the way your kids react round them (apart from newborns and very very young babies). My children loved our previous helper (fired her cos she had a physical fight with the other helper and nothing to do with the way she looked after our kids) and you could see how happy and smiley they were when they saw her.
For feeding fruit with fingers, my helpers do that at home sometimes and I think it's ok, cos I do it too as it's easier and I trust them that their hands are clean. The licking of spoons I am wary of cos they may have picked up viruses which is nothing to an adult and they may not even be aware, but may be more serious for young kids. Afterall, a lot of helpers gather en masse during sat/sun in close proximity to each other and share food, it's the easiest way to pass illness around.
As for helpers who are abusive, I think most of the time, you can tell from the way your kids react round them (apart from newborns and very very young babies). My children loved our previous helper (fired her cos she had a physical fight with the other helper and nothing to do with the way she looked after our kids) and you could see how happy and smiley they were when they saw her.
For feeding fruit with fingers, my helpers do that at home sometimes and I think it's ok, cos I do it too as it's easier and I trust them that their hands are clean. The licking of spoons I am wary of cos they may have picked up viruses which is nothing to an adult and they may not even be aware, but may be more serious for young kids. Afterall, a lot of helpers gather en masse during sat/sun in close proximity to each other and share food, it's the easiest way to pass illness around.
I would let my helper feed my kid the way I'd feed her myself. Meaning giving her a piece of fruit with my hands, yes; sharing a spoon, no.
I saw the horrific "helper abuses child" video. OMG, OMG, OMG. Before watching the video, I'd have said, no to installing a camera in a heartbeat. Now, I think it depends on many factors, some difficult to pin down.
Personally, I won't install a camera because I'm a stay-at-home-mom. If I can't trust my helper to baby-sit my kid for a few hours, I should look for a new helper (or baby-sitter for that matter).
I saw the horrific "helper abuses child" video. OMG, OMG, OMG. Before watching the video, I'd have said, no to installing a camera in a heartbeat. Now, I think it depends on many factors, some difficult to pin down.
Personally, I won't install a camera because I'm a stay-at-home-mom. If I can't trust my helper to baby-sit my kid for a few hours, I should look for a new helper (or baby-sitter for that matter).
radicalmum
Registered User
Thank you ladies for sharing.
I must raise that my suspicious are not of helper abusing baby. I still manage to muster up some trust and faith that she's not heavy handling or being careless with baby.
Also, every person differs, so things like lifestyle and habit preference is subjective and i don't judge any of those. Whatever we are comfortable with, hands, spoons, fork and all....
The some of the issues i have are more like:/-
- after explaining to her why i prefer baby to be place in bed and encouraged to sleep on her own but both my husband and myself catch her thrice carrying/rocking the baby to sleep when i'm very sure baby don't have the habit out of that. I'm very sure because baby sleeps with me in the night so that my helper can have ample rest. And since she started this carrying baby to sleep, my baby now wakes up twice in the night not to feed but to be carried!...
This, i don't want to over-react and i could live with reminding her over and over until she gets what i wanted to achieve in the end.
- Another mystery is: i've taught her what are the things i would like baby to be fed but i realized that these 3 days of out handling house moving stuff, baby's food ingredients didn't move much but her formula and rice cereal did. This is the one thing i'm suspicious. Did she do up the meals the way i wanted it or she kept things easy?
I did ask her, she told me she did but she adds very little meat and vegetable as baby didn't like. I explained to her that is not a good thing as baby needs her share of nutrition irregardless she likes it or not. Baby only decide how quantity much she wants to eat but i decide what she eats.
This, as much as i tried to reason out in my mind, i'm still suspicious. Whatever it is, i'm re-planning my trips out in-between her feeds for now.
I must raise that my suspicious are not of helper abusing baby. I still manage to muster up some trust and faith that she's not heavy handling or being careless with baby.
Also, every person differs, so things like lifestyle and habit preference is subjective and i don't judge any of those. Whatever we are comfortable with, hands, spoons, fork and all....
The some of the issues i have are more like:/-
- after explaining to her why i prefer baby to be place in bed and encouraged to sleep on her own but both my husband and myself catch her thrice carrying/rocking the baby to sleep when i'm very sure baby don't have the habit out of that. I'm very sure because baby sleeps with me in the night so that my helper can have ample rest. And since she started this carrying baby to sleep, my baby now wakes up twice in the night not to feed but to be carried!...
This, i don't want to over-react and i could live with reminding her over and over until she gets what i wanted to achieve in the end.
- Another mystery is: i've taught her what are the things i would like baby to be fed but i realized that these 3 days of out handling house moving stuff, baby's food ingredients didn't move much but her formula and rice cereal did. This is the one thing i'm suspicious. Did she do up the meals the way i wanted it or she kept things easy?
I did ask her, she told me she did but she adds very little meat and vegetable as baby didn't like. I explained to her that is not a good thing as baby needs her share of nutrition irregardless she likes it or not. Baby only decide how quantity much she wants to eat but i decide what she eats.
This, as much as i tried to reason out in my mind, i'm still suspicious. Whatever it is, i'm re-planning my trips out in-between her feeds for now.