I think it's yet another 'no' this month. I'm totally fed up of the disappointment and upset every month. Hubby wants to keep on trying but the anxiety I feel every month is getting too much. He says we should be optimistic and just carry on as we have been doing but I'm finding this impossible. We're going into month 10 of TTC and none of my friends took longer than 4 months to get pregnant. I'm only 30 so age shouldn't be a problem. When we were starting out on this journey I never imagined for a second that I wouldn't be pregnant by now. I know that in the scheme of things a lot of people out there have taken longer to get pregnant so perhaps I shouldn't be so down about it. I can't help how I feel though - and I'm just not sure I'd want to go down the IVF route. The effect it has on your body, having hopes dashed etc. it all just seems like too much to cope with. Anyone have any suggestions for making this whole thing a bit easier to cope with?
TTC, depressed, feel like giving up
- Thread starter Bozo
- Start date
i know of a friend going through the same thing but the part that gets her down is the pressure and expectation she puts on herself. this will also effect your relationship with your husband and trying for the sake of trying. don't do this to yourself as having a child is a lot of responsibility.
PLease do consider professional advice as this journey involves the both of you and there are many options of fertility programs now, not just IVF.
What about a romantic weekend gateaway? My first son was conceived that way, we had so much fun, we forgot about the family planning stuff. Good luck.
PLease do consider professional advice as this journey involves the both of you and there are many options of fertility programs now, not just IVF.
What about a romantic weekend gateaway? My first son was conceived that way, we had so much fun, we forgot about the family planning stuff. Good luck.
Dont despair. A friend of mine has taken 2 yrs to conceive and her cycle was very irregular, even tougher to ascertain ovulation.She did went for tests to ensure her eggs and ovulation were normal and her husband did a sperm count just to be sure. She also took her bascal temperature to spot ovulation period.
She had her first child during her vacation in US.
So it is good to get some feedbacks from docs to ensure things are normal and then just relax a bit, go for vacation.
Most important is to keep the tender loving care between spouse.....Cheers.
She had her first child during her vacation in US.
So it is good to get some feedbacks from docs to ensure things are normal and then just relax a bit, go for vacation.
Most important is to keep the tender loving care between spouse.....Cheers.
Don't give up if it's what you both really want. Maybe you want to 'take a break' though; give up on the timing etc. for a month or 2. The holidays suggested above are a great idea. I have a number of friends who had all but given up, and conceived in the end. One had endometriosis and was told that she should not even put pressure on herself/her husband by focusing (she's now pregnant on her second, her eldest is only a year old). Another friend's doctor told her that they were wasting their time and emotional investment on a final course of IVF, and they are expecting twins in July. So be careful what you wish for! It's impossible to force yourself to relax, but if you spent a couple of cycles enjoying your relationship rather than timing every single attempt, it might do you the world of good. Like you say, you are only 30.
white umbrella
Registered User
RE: TTC...don't give up
Don't give up, it will happen sooner than you know it. I think most doctors even say that one should try for two years before "looking into it"...Though can understand the pressure you feel... Did you ever hear about a book called:" Taking charge of your fertility"?... Maybe you just don't know when you are ovulating...it is all based on body temperature, you take your temperature every morning before getting up ( I know it can be a bore) and when it is higher than average you know you are ovulating...it truly works and helps to understand your body 's own rythms....and when it is time to have fun with hubby ;-)! Good luck!
Don't give up, it will happen sooner than you know it. I think most doctors even say that one should try for two years before "looking into it"...Though can understand the pressure you feel... Did you ever hear about a book called:" Taking charge of your fertility"?... Maybe you just don't know when you are ovulating...it is all based on body temperature, you take your temperature every morning before getting up ( I know it can be a bore) and when it is higher than average you know you are ovulating...it truly works and helps to understand your body 's own rythms....and when it is time to have fun with hubby ;-)! Good luck!
Thanks all for the wise words. Mum of 2 - your suggestion of enjoying my relationship particularly hit home. Unfortunately it's all too easy for trying to conceive to turn into an obssession and I think my concern to time things right has taken over. As for knowing when I'm ovulating, i've a very regular cycle and use OPKs just to make sure (yes, I told you - obssessive) so I don't think we're just accidentally missing the right time. Hubby tells me to try and forget about it but I think it's easier for men to put these things at the back of their minds because it's not their bodies that go through the monthly cycle. Once my PMS starts I'm constantly looking out for anything unusual.
I've also heard of people taking 2 years to get pregnant, but I can't believe this was purely down to luck. I mean, something must have been wrong, surely?
I've also heard of people taking 2 years to get pregnant, but I can't believe this was purely down to luck. I mean, something must have been wrong, surely?
Bozo
I'm sorry that its been such a trail for you- but the most impt thing is NEVER give up and try to be proactive. First of all has hubbie had a sperm analysis - even if its ok, buy some zinc tablets and get him to take one a day.
In your case, even though you know when you're ovulating, ever considered going to the gyne to check that the egg is of opitmal size?All it takes is a transvaginal U/S 1-2 days before ovulation. If the eggs the right size, maybe your doc can give you a trigger shot so that you and hubbie can make sure you're together on time.
Also if that month doesn't turn out right and AF comes, remember to chart down the day you ovulated and the day that AF came and thats your Luteal phase. It should be more than 11 days at least for implantation to happen. If its short- talk to your gyne about having progesterone shots or alternatively start taking Vit B6 at least 50mg -100mg from the first day of your period, you'll see an improvement after 2 months.
Another thing is that sometimes the egg and the spermie is fine, but the CM is too thick or acidic, in which case you can try pre-seed (need to get it from abroad), or increase your CM flow by taking Robitussin cough medicine (ONLY get the brand that states clearly Guanifesin??) on the front, NOT the one that has antihistamine cos that dries up your CM even more- its available in Watsons (ask the pharmacist if in doubt). I also use to take Evening primrose oil capsules from the first day of AF then stopped once ovulation occurs(don't take anything after ovulation apart from the Vit B6 and folic acid).
After 3 months of no show- I decided to all the above and after 2 months I'm now pregnant with my fourth, so take heart- your turn will definatley come.
On a seperate note, remember not to drink or eat Soy products and tofu and also don't drink or eat cold foods as its bad for the uterus.
And also, if you can afford it- go to Troy sing for his herbs and acupuncture, as I know he definately helped me alot.
Sorry this is so long-winded....
I'm sorry that its been such a trail for you- but the most impt thing is NEVER give up and try to be proactive. First of all has hubbie had a sperm analysis - even if its ok, buy some zinc tablets and get him to take one a day.
In your case, even though you know when you're ovulating, ever considered going to the gyne to check that the egg is of opitmal size?All it takes is a transvaginal U/S 1-2 days before ovulation. If the eggs the right size, maybe your doc can give you a trigger shot so that you and hubbie can make sure you're together on time.
Also if that month doesn't turn out right and AF comes, remember to chart down the day you ovulated and the day that AF came and thats your Luteal phase. It should be more than 11 days at least for implantation to happen. If its short- talk to your gyne about having progesterone shots or alternatively start taking Vit B6 at least 50mg -100mg from the first day of your period, you'll see an improvement after 2 months.
Another thing is that sometimes the egg and the spermie is fine, but the CM is too thick or acidic, in which case you can try pre-seed (need to get it from abroad), or increase your CM flow by taking Robitussin cough medicine (ONLY get the brand that states clearly Guanifesin??) on the front, NOT the one that has antihistamine cos that dries up your CM even more- its available in Watsons (ask the pharmacist if in doubt). I also use to take Evening primrose oil capsules from the first day of AF then stopped once ovulation occurs(don't take anything after ovulation apart from the Vit B6 and folic acid).
After 3 months of no show- I decided to all the above and after 2 months I'm now pregnant with my fourth, so take heart- your turn will definatley come.
On a seperate note, remember not to drink or eat Soy products and tofu and also don't drink or eat cold foods as its bad for the uterus.
And also, if you can afford it- go to Troy sing for his herbs and acupuncture, as I know he definately helped me alot.
Sorry this is so long-winded....