toddler kissing helper! how to deal with this?
- Thread starter bagel
- Start date
i dont have much experience (baby only 11ish mths) but what thanka said really resonates with me. it is definitely cultural as i did not grow up with expressive parents and i did tell my helper from day 1 that kissing him was only done by parents.
even uncles, aunts dont kiss - but i know thats just my family. Hugs are GReat.... and I'm going to go that way. i definitely want to encourage him to be affectionate but that expression may be different in different families!
BUT i really dont know what will happen when he is a toddler and want to actively kiss her. I do think I'm going to go Geomum's route and explain that kissing is for parents only.
even uncles, aunts dont kiss - but i know thats just my family. Hugs are GReat.... and I'm going to go that way. i definitely want to encourage him to be affectionate but that expression may be different in different families!
BUT i really dont know what will happen when he is a toddler and want to actively kiss her. I do think I'm going to go Geomum's route and explain that kissing is for parents only.
Hi there,
Well, kids kisses are usually wet, aren't they.
I don't understand what's so bad about your son kissing the helper. My boy kisses and hugs the helper too.
It's nice for me and for many reasons:it means she's nice to him even when I am not around and it also means my son is NORMAL, after all, they are together a lot, she takes care of him when I am not around, they play together, its perfectly normal for him to kiss/hug anyone who wins his affection, call it parents, grand parents and in this case our helper.
I wouldn't teach my son to think he shouldn't be affectionate to the helper, its nice to see him express his feelings naturally, besides it might backfire if he starts thinking when and to whom to love/care for...
N
Well, kids kisses are usually wet, aren't they.
I don't understand what's so bad about your son kissing the helper. My boy kisses and hugs the helper too.
It's nice for me and for many reasons:it means she's nice to him even when I am not around and it also means my son is NORMAL, after all, they are together a lot, she takes care of him when I am not around, they play together, its perfectly normal for him to kiss/hug anyone who wins his affection, call it parents, grand parents and in this case our helper.
I wouldn't teach my son to think he shouldn't be affectionate to the helper, its nice to see him express his feelings naturally, besides it might backfire if he starts thinking when and to whom to love/care for...
N
Gataloca
Registered User
Helper kissing toddler's lips
Each morning when I go to work, I would give lot of kisses to my 23 month old. My helper would carry him, and I would kiss him and he would kiss me back, sometime on my lips. My helper seems to find that cute, and would also kiss my baby and ask him to kiss her back as well, sometime when my baby and I are going out, or when she tells my baby good night... I didn't have much problem with that till I saw her kissing on my baby's lips!!! OMG!
Now, I know that I have probably set a bad example to my helper by kissing my baby's lips... but how should I talk to her about that?... would I hurt her if I tell her not to kiss my him there? should I just tell her, or wait till I see her kissing his lips again before I bring that out?.. what if she is kissing him all the time when I am not around?
Each morning when I go to work, I would give lot of kisses to my 23 month old. My helper would carry him, and I would kiss him and he would kiss me back, sometime on my lips. My helper seems to find that cute, and would also kiss my baby and ask him to kiss her back as well, sometime when my baby and I are going out, or when she tells my baby good night... I didn't have much problem with that till I saw her kissing on my baby's lips!!! OMG!
Now, I know that I have probably set a bad example to my helper by kissing my baby's lips... but how should I talk to her about that?... would I hurt her if I tell her not to kiss my him there? should I just tell her, or wait till I see her kissing his lips again before I bring that out?.. what if she is kissing him all the time when I am not around?
The funny thing now is that my 15-month-old daughter is REALLY into kissing...kisses everyone and everything...kisses her water bottle and hugs it...kisses toys and dolls and hugs them...she insists on giving us all kisses and will even "force" us to kiss her if we turn away by turning our face toward her and cupping our face in her hands. She only wants to kiss on the lips. Same thing with our helper even though the helper tries to convince her to kiss her on the cheek but with my daughter, that just won't do...she MUST have a kiss on the lips and she'll keep at it until she gets it. It doesn't bother me, though...it's pretty funny to watch, though.
Hi Bagel,
Is your concern that you son is too physically affectionate with a helper / employee? Or it is a hygiene thing?
Because I think complex instructions would only be confusing to a 2-year-old.
"You can kiss mommy and daddy, but not the woman who cares for you all day." For a young child displaying natural joy and affection, this would probably feel weird.
(Warding your kid off strangers is a totally different matter).
Or would you say, "you can kiss the helper, but without saliva." I don't think a 2-year-old really has that much control over his drool!
Sometimes, I think we adults project our own worries onto kids who are quite clueless. Does a clumsy toddler have tcontrol / thought over exactly where and how he's kissing someone?
My little girl is much younger -- 1 year-- but she's already super affectionate. (And super drooly!)
She hugs everything -- me, dad, her favorite toddler friend in the playgroup, her toys, her cousin, and my helper. And my helper will occasionally give her a peck back on the cheek of the top of the head.
I'm thrilled that they have such a good relationship.
My child's daily happiness with her carer is more important than any feelings of jealously I may have as a mom.
As for the hygiene thing -- well, my helper changes her diaper, bathes her, feeds her her food, wipes her snotty nose when she has a cold. I don't think a kiss is going to spread any more germs than will already be spread. (That said, they don't kiss on the lips)
Is your concern that you son is too physically affectionate with a helper / employee? Or it is a hygiene thing?
Because I think complex instructions would only be confusing to a 2-year-old.
"You can kiss mommy and daddy, but not the woman who cares for you all day." For a young child displaying natural joy and affection, this would probably feel weird.
(Warding your kid off strangers is a totally different matter).
Or would you say, "you can kiss the helper, but without saliva." I don't think a 2-year-old really has that much control over his drool!
Sometimes, I think we adults project our own worries onto kids who are quite clueless. Does a clumsy toddler have tcontrol / thought over exactly where and how he's kissing someone?
My little girl is much younger -- 1 year-- but she's already super affectionate. (And super drooly!)
She hugs everything -- me, dad, her favorite toddler friend in the playgroup, her toys, her cousin, and my helper. And my helper will occasionally give her a peck back on the cheek of the top of the head.
I'm thrilled that they have such a good relationship.
My child's daily happiness with her carer is more important than any feelings of jealously I may have as a mom.
As for the hygiene thing -- well, my helper changes her diaper, bathes her, feeds her her food, wipes her snotty nose when she has a cold. I don't think a kiss is going to spread any more germs than will already be spread. (That said, they don't kiss on the lips)
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