Random people touching my little one (rant)

[Gataloca]

Since I take my little one out on his carrier, we got lot of attention from random people. Usually people would just comment on how handsome or cute my little one is, or would give me some unwanted advices, which I don't really mind.

But this morning I was seating in McCafe waiting for my order, when that lady came and sat down on the table next to me, and without asking for permission, said "Oh baby!" and started touching my little one. First she touched his face. I said politely that he has cream (hydrocortisone) on his face and pulled my baby a little bit away from her touch. Then that lady sat closer to us, and touched and held my baby hand and didn't let it go. I was uncomfortable and looking for another place to seat, when my decaf coffee and cake arrived. With my order on the table, it was harder for me to move, so I just told my baby that is time to eat, and moved a little bit to my right side, away from the lady. She finally let my baby's hand go, but a minute later, she also moved closer, and started touching my little one's head. I really had enough, so I move further to my right away from her. She then sat quietly for a while, and after a while, she left and sat on another table. Later I had to take a wet napkin and wipe my little one's hands and head!

Should have been a crazy day at McDonald, cause there was also a lady seating on the table in front of us, who was having a full conversation with an invisible man!... It was hilarious! If my phone weren't broken, I would have taken a video of it! And the woman who was touching my baby wasn't even eating there. After she moved to another table, she just sat there with her eyes closed, taking a nap!!!

 

[Frenchy]

Well, it has happened many times with my first son too, and for sure I won't let people do it again with my daughter !! generally they are not that invasive, but I sometimes made it clear and lound that they were going too far (touching my boy's mouth !!).
I think the worst place I've been too is Repulse Bay Beach, as it's a spot for mainlanders, and they are always very curious to see westerners baby... so I don't mind them taking a picture, but taking him from my arms without asking... it made me really angry !

 

[Shenzhennifer]

Yes, HK is very strange like that. I have been angry on many an occasion when my son was a little baby. After a short while, I would just tell the toucher not to touch my baby. I am sure I caused a lot of sadness to the old ladies, but too bad, that my baby and I don't know where your hands were five minutes ago. Plus they all touch the face or the hands, disgusting. I will be even stronger when my second baby comes. hands off!

 

[howardcoombs]

*smile*
Wait till your little one turns into a toddler and you start visiting Ocean Park / Disney.
You will be in real shock then
*smile*

Anyone with a toddler that has been to those places will know that I'm talking about mainland tourists and their cameras. Taking pictures in groups, taking pictures individually, taking pictures while picking up the toddler etc etc etc. You will need to get used to it otherwise every one of your visits will turn into a very stressful ordeal.
Dont get angry, dont get anxiuos - they are just curious and dont really mean any harm.

HC

 

[Gataloca]

I know they don't mean harm... but aren't those people selfish? I mean, they are enjoying themselves playing and touching the little one, without thinking that the parents may not like it, or that their hands are dirty and can get the baby sick.

 

[nicolejoy]

I've had random people pick up my daughter at Disneyland and start taking photos with her!

I generally don't really care that much though - as long as I can see what's going on and it's not creepy, I figure it's not harming anyone. So what if it's different to my culture? If I was really offended by it I'd say something but sometimes I figure that my daughter brings so much joy to my life, why would I deprive others from interacting with her and maybe they need a bit of joy in their lives too?? As long as it doesn't harm her of course... I don't think someone's going to give her a disease just by touching her. But I'm not germophobic like many people in HK are!!

 

[AmyH]

I have somewhat gotten used to this since coming to hong kong. When we first came here I just had my son and he was 4. People in Disney used to try to pick him up, take pictures etc. and now they do it with my daughter (I once had a queue form in Tsuen Wan of people wanting to touch her!)

My biggest issue with it now is that my son is 6. He has been learing a lot about stranger danger etc and it gets confusing for him as we have two completely different reactions depending where we are! In hong kong if strangers come up and start talking to him, and taking pictures we don't really react any more but in the UK if a stranger started taking pictures of my children I would be calling the police.

When we are out and people come up to talk to my son, he doesnt answer as he can be very shy and I always say "say hello" etc and he turns to me and says "but they are strangers mum and you told me never to talk to strangers". It is very confusing trying to explain that in HK it is fine but in UK it is not!

 

[Gataloca]

Yes, I had people before touching the baby (head, face, hands), and I was fine with that...But it was really creepy when that lady hold the baby hand and didn't let it go. I was still carrying my baby with the baby carrier, so couldn't see well what she was doing.. she was like holding his little hand and squeezing it for like a minute! and she still insisted on reaching to my baby when I was seating farther and farther away..... Probably I just overreacted, but it was like a kind of psycho behavior to me! ... Made me feel very uncomfortable. And the baby is 2 months old, and starting to suck his hands!

 

[Gataloca]

And didn't know that westerners children are part of the attractions at Disneyland and Ocean Park! You guys should be able to enter to the parks for free!!!! hahah... in fact, the parks should pay you guys!

 

[carang]

i, too, had to get used to it. still do and mine are 3.5 & 5.5. from a very young age, when people would ask if they could take a photo, i ALWAYS asked my kids if they wanted their photo taken. if they said no, then too bad. if they said yes, then ok.

as for touching hands etc. if you are really that worried about it, then just make sure you take wipes with you. it's going to happen, why get upset over it?

just say to the woman who won't let go, 'sorry, it's very difficult/ uncomfortable holding the baby in the sling when you've got her hand.' and remove yourself from the situation.