Random people touching my little one (rant)

[AmyH]

JVN Ha ha, I know and when I re-read my post I was thinking the same! It is another world there where everybody in the area knows everybody and there is always somebody watching out for the kids when they are out alone so I feel comfortable letting him out but when we lived in Liverpool he was not allowed out the front door as we lived on an estate where there were lots of cars, little boy racers and teens with big dogs hanging on street corners so he really didn't speak to strangers there at all as neither did I!

In HK I am trying to give him some more freedom but it is very hard bacause I still see him as a little baby sometimes!

 

[joyofliving]

Howard you are right in many respects, but would like your comment on this incident. Our friend's daughter was 2 years old when she got lost in Ocean Park, they've always taught her to be friendly and confident. So after searching heaven and earth they found her sitting with a family having food. She wasn't looking for her parents even after hours of being lost, but the parents of course were worried sick.
The issue being talked about here is of hygiene as well not just kidnapping or abuse. When my daughter was less than a year old I used to take her to the wet market on some mornings and people with filthy hands would try to touch her. Even now when I take my son out people touch him and I smile to them politely and say Please don't touch.

 

[carang]

hygeine? carry wet wipes, problem solved. i really don't see the big deal....

ps> i've taught my kids that it is OK to say, "DON'T TOUCH ME!"or "LET GO OF ME!" if they feel that they are being encroached upon.

 

[joyofliving]

Why let someone touch my child in the first place if I don't approve of it? People who touch babies with dirty hands are ignorant and selfish. Your approach is right Cara and I will try it with my kids when they are little older.

 

[carang]

i agree, geomum, but really you are not going to change teh culture and really will be too stressed taking your child out if you let it get to you.

my mum used to say, you have to choose your battles. for me, this is not a battle i'm willing to fight. it is so much easier to just carry wet wipes and continue on my way. even though my kids are older, we still don't leave the house without a supply of wet wipes. i mean, even playing at the playground is "dirty". instead of making myself crazy about it, we just clean them up afterwards.

 

[AmyH]

can I ask what may seem a silly question please..... Why do people do it?(touch babies and take pictures of them I mean). Is there some sort of chinese tradition around it? I am genuinely interested as I have never encountered it until we came here. Is it seen as good luck or something?

 

[carang]

i don't know... perhaps it is that because of the 1 child policy, children are not as abundant as they are here...i know when i go on holiday, often it is the PEOPLE that i find the most interesting. i would never take a photo wihtout permission though...

as for touching babies... i know i have to REALLY hold myself back. i LOVE babies! it was only after reading some threads on here similar to this one that i found out that some women do not appreciate it. i now ALWAYS ask before i touch. i just think that it doesn't occur to them that you may view them as dirty/unhygenic etc. just as you can't understand why THEY do it, i think they can't understand why you might not like it....

 

[AmyH]

I have gotten used to it now and am lucky that my daughter is quite placid and does not make strange when it happens. A friend brought her daughter to visit us from UK last year and we went to Disneyland and she just cried a lot when people came up to her and spent a lot of time hiding behind her mother!

I have never found the hygiene thing an issue though as I am a firm believer in wipes and once she was crawling and then putting her hands in her mouth, a person touching her was not going to do any more harm than that!

The thing that bothers me most is when people video and take pics without asking. Also, when I am in a hurry to get somewhere and people block the buggy to chat to her so I cannot get past!

 

[joyofliving]

Its because they are fascinated by blue/green or big eyes, blonde/red or curly hair because it different. Because they want to get amazed over and over again that non chinese babies/ toddlers are much bigger. Also because they cherish baby boys more than girls, so if you have a son you get more attention. Some may find these reasons hard to digest but they are true.

 

[carang]

well, my kids are mixed and i've found that my girl gets as much attention as my son every got...