Parents giving up adopted child

[Nula]

Press Statement from G.O.A.L

Global Overseas Adoptees? Link (G.O.A.?L) is an adoptee-run organization located in Seoul,
Korea. G.O.A.?L has been working for Korean adoptees and their rights since its establishment
in March 1998, and is a registered NGO under the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade,
registered non-profit organization with Seoul Metropolitan Government

LEGALITY OF ADOPTEE RELINQUISHMENT CASE QUESTIONED
Adoptee community condemns relinquishment, demands accountability from Korean,Dutch governments

December 12, 2007 ? The global adoptee community condemns the disruption of an adoption by
a Dutch diplomat couple. The couple adopted their Korean daughter as an infant in 2000 while
stationed in South Korea. In 2004 they were transferred to Hong Kong, and in May 2007 they
relinquished the daughter to Hong Kong social welfare. The girl?s residency is now in question,
as her parents failed to give her Dutch citizenship. Many adoptees in Korea, the Netherlands and
worldwide condemn not only the abandonment, but also the laws and practices ?- or lack thereof
? that resulted in such a tragedy. A child is not a returnable product: Adoption is a lifelong
commitment.
G.O.A.?L demands a thorough investigation by the Korean and the Dutch governments into this
case. Many details of the case are still unclear, leading G.O.A.?L to suspect that standard legal
procedures may have been ignored in this adoption. If it is found that this adoption was indeed
illegal, the Korean government must pursue all possible measures to punish the wrongdoers
without regard to ?diplomatic immunity.? The results of the investigations must be made public
and reflected as changes in Korean, Dutch and international laws.
Global Overseas Adoptees? Link (G.O.A.?L) is an adoptee-run organization located in Seoul,
Korea. G.O.A.?L has been working for Korean adoptees and their rights since its establishment
in March 1998, and is a registered NGO under the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade,
registered non-profit organization with Seoul Metropolitan Government

 

[jyap]

I think the parents had the 'bonding' problem, not the child.

 

[Leeah's mom]

more shocking news

After reading this thread, I try to find out as much information as I can. I just found found out that now in the Netherlands the parents are being criticized so much, now they're saying. it's just so disgusting

" Jade ( that's her name) was having a diffulty in eating The dutch food, so she's just staying there for the temporary."

But the truth is last may, they already decided to give up her and asked the hongkong government to find her a new home.
Jade has been living separately from them ever since!

I can't believe how dare they lie to all people in the world.

whatever the reasons, they are unforgivable.

I heard they were quite a few people tried to adopt her, but in hongkong it's very complicated..
Hongkong goverment consider the new family's wealth, education, relationship with relatives and medical history as well. lots of paperworks and interview.
THe hongkong government haven't found a suitable family for her yet.

Also the Korean government is seeking ways to ask legal responsibilies to the dutch parents for just leaving her at the orphange before finding a new family for her.

I really think that dutch family should be punished.
I just can't believe myself how those kind of people could live in the world.

 

[nycschatzi]

I agree that based on what the press has shared, the family's actions are baffling and heartless.
However, I would like to ask why noone has brought up the fact that Korean culture does not encourage Koreans to adopt Koreans. Please note that this is NOT the only society that insists on bloodline for family continuity.
Shouldn't Koreans be addressing the reality of unwanted pregnancies and not expecting that Korean children be adopted by non-Korean nationals? The Korean War has been over for decades, so these children are not the result of intermarriage (another Korean taboo). Korea has actually gone from a position of overpopulation (too high a birthrate) to being below replenishment rate (like Japan, Italy and a few other countries.) Why are the social mores so rigid that they cannot absorb their own foundlings?
But then again, why is every Korean female under 45 I know married to a non-Korean man (both in HK and the US.)
Please forgive the digression, but a little food for thought.

 

[Leeah's mom]

hmmm

A long time ago, koreans didn't like the ideas of adopting because of it's traditional culture ( It was that mens should have to have their own blood kids from generation to generation)
But it has changed dramatically nowadays.
Many koreans do adopt and even a friend of mine also adopted a child who was already 6 years when she adopted the boy. She lives in Korea and her husband is a korean also. There are so many countless families who adopt.
Even korean movie stars do a public adoption to encourage the adoption.

It's not like all unwanted korean babies go to overseas like that.
I think you have a bit wrong idea.

the problem of this matter is that that dutch family adopted the girl when they were living in korea. And abandoned her in hongkong while they were living in hongkong. Why did they do that in hongkong. The girl came to hongkong becaure of her foster parents. she has nothing to do here in hongkong.

Authorities in the hongkong government said
This girl can't just go back to korea because she doesn't speak any korean. It would be much better to find a new family in hongkong since she is now used to live in hongkong and speaks only English & cantonese.
Also for her own sake, since she was raised in a western family, her new family will be much better to be non- traditional korean family in case of getting the confusion of culture. Experts said that. So Hongkong Government and Koreans society in hongkong are trying to look for a new suitable family for her.
There were lots of koreans who wanted to adopt her after hearing the news.

It's not like no one in KOrea wants her, so she has to find a family in hongkong.

oh and I want to add one more thing. korea has a very low birth rate nowadays.The government are encourging families to have kids.
The ones you know who are females under 45 do not represent all
korean females.

 

[Leeah's mom]

hmm..

I thought about this last night.

My final conclusion is that I can't just blame the dutch parents. what they did is surely a bad thing, but
the Koreans who abandoned the girl in the first place should be blamed as much as the dutch parents.

They are the ones who abandonded her and all of them are responsible for this inccident.

I also heard even koreans adopt children, a majority of children still go to western families. THe korean government also should take an action to prevent other cases like this. Koreans shouldn't just blame the dutch family. The Korean government also has responsibilites.And koreans shouldn't abandon their own child as well.

But blaming them doesn't help much to help the girl.
Probably the girl is much better off without the dutch family. I read an article saying the family's ex-nanny handan interview with the newspaper ( I think it was the dutch paper). She said they were treating Jade not as their own daughter. Before adopting the girl, the dutch parents had their own son. And after adopting the girl, a couple of years later, they got their own child agin.

Let's wish that poor girl doesn't get hurt anymore and hopefully find a new suitable family.

The dutch newspaper says The dutch family was called to the Netherlands for the investigation.

 

[shaanmom]

This really boils my blood!! We adopted our son at 4 weeks and absolutely cannot imagine or dream of "giving him back" even in our wildest imagination! My husband has said that he would probably not have loved his own (natural) children as much as he loves our son. There is no, absolutely non whatsoever, reason for anyone to abandon a child, much less an adopted one! We are now looking into adopting a 2nd, and it's people like these that make it so difficult for genuine cases like ours to adopt overseas. It took us over a year of home study, then another 1/2 year after we identified him to finally complete the paperwork & bring him home. Shame on these "diplomats"! They just took advantage of their status (after all, as diplomats they would "rank" higher than us regular people in terms of credibility in the eyes of the adoption authorities), and when it was convenient just dumped her in a 3rd country and jetted off home leaving behind their mess.... On top of that these are educated, wordly people who should know better! At 7years, it will be harder for this poor girl to be adopted (most adoptive parents prefer babies) and on top of that for her to adjust to a new family, environment..... What recourse does she have? Aargh, so frustrated when I read how people take children for granted!!!!!!!

 

[barbwong_130]

the Koreans who abandoned the girl in the first place should be blamed

Are you saying that all parents who place children for adoption are to be blamed? And that under no circumstances babies should be adopted and that always it is better to be with the biological mother?
Do you realize how self righteous you sound?
Please for a minute imagine that you are not the middle class of an affluent city.

I hope that when you daughter is 15 she doesn’t have the agonizing decision between termination, adoption or life as a single parent.

 

[Leeah's mom]

what I meant was..

I am not saying that all parents who abandon their children are to be blamed..

Every parent has a reason for not being able to keep their own children ! And It's not always better to be with the biological parents.

In many cases, adopted kids grow well and live happily.
Also the adoption is another chance for the people who can't have babies or want more babies. A friend of mine adopted a kid eventhough she could have a baby.

But That girl could have lived happily if she was not abandoned in the first place if she hadn't meet her second parents like the ones . you know what I mean?

Some children in Africa like being with their families even though they have nothing to eat.
what is a family for??? Whenever you are sad or happy, family members always support you whatever other people say.

Every case is different.
You don't know the reason why the girl's biological parent give her up. It could be the money or something else.

Also I am not in the middle class of an affluent city myself.

 

[carang]

there's no way in the world that you could say that she would have been happier with her biological parents. we have not one piece of info about her biological parents. not only that, she was adopted as a very young baby. she will not have any memory of those people at all.

i can't imagine the state that i'd have to be in to give up my kids. but women do it. they must do it for a reason. they must truly believe that their child will be better off in an adopted family. this is what is heartbreaking. this dutch family were supposed to be the "safe" place for the girl. that is what being a family should be all about. a place and people that you KNOW that you are SAFE from the big bad world. this dutch family have completely destroyed this idea for this poor little girl. she now has NOWHERE safe to land after a fall. i wonder if she will ever feel loved and cherished? what a truly awful way to live... with the belief that you MUST be unlovable. your own parents gave you up. if your parents, your safety net can't love you, then who possibly could?