helpers/nannies - full time working parents

[sunniefaith]

I do not have a helper now but will be hiring one in a couple of months. I had a helper when I was growing up and the helper that my mum currently has, has been with her for about 8 yrs or so.

One thing I learnt from my mum when interviewing the helper was basically to ask her what did she do in her ex-employer's home. And also to present her a list of what you want her to do on a daily basis. Present the list to her at the interview and ask her if it is 'do able' in her point of view. If it is, then, good. But if not, it can be a warning sign to you.

Personally, I do not believe in hiring another helper to help your helper. Correct me if I'm wrong, a baby takes naps and this will free her from baby and she can do chores during that time. On top of that, she has to learn how to manage her time and manage her chores. There is a possibility that she's pulling a fast one on you. Give her a chance, tell her your expectations clearly and if she says it can't be done, then have a think through. If I were you, I'll look for another helper before returning to work.

 

[Query]

Both my husband and I work FT and have our helper look after my daughter from when I returned to work after mat leave to now (she is nearly one year old) whilst we are at work. I think whether your helper can manage ALL the housework, cooking dinner and look after the baby depends alot on your baby and her naptimes during the day.

We decided to hire PT help to do the ironing and the cleaning of the house after I returned to work after maternity leave. The reason is that my daughter is a light napper, only about one hours max each time (about 2-3 times a day) and is constantly waking up during her naps - so my helper was always interrupted during her work to put her to sleep again. She cries each time she is left alone to play so needs constant companionship - she will cry even if she can see my helper in the kitchen preparing her lunch. My helper simply could not find the time to take care of her and do all the housework and cook our dinner. I think it depends on your baby whether your helper will be able to manage her work aroudn the house. With mine, she was a real handful 24/7 so I preferred to pay that bit extra to ensure that all the ironing got done and the house is clean.

If your baby naps alot and can play by herself, then sure a helper can probably do everything. But if not, then you probably should expect lesser of your helper in terms of the household chores to be done or get extra help.

Just my experience and hope it will help you.

 

[Konradsmom]

Agree with Query that it depends on the baby. I currently have 2 helpers for the same reason most do - wanting more attention for bub and more stimulation instead of him being in front of the TV. Bub sleeps longer in the afternoon now , maybe 1.5 hours average, and helper can then get some free time to do the hosuehold chores, and some rest herself; if the baby is more demanding, like bub was when he was younger,then I can't really see much of a window for her to do other things.

A second helper will give you a lot more freedom and comfort, but from experience, I can say its not no work at all either - you probably have to manage both of them a bit more to avoid disputes. Lucky if both of them get along real well.

 

[Sage]

I got extra help for housechores

I'm a stay-at-home mom and I have a full-time helper. She babysits when I am out of the house and occasionally, in the evenings too (when I have date-nights with the husband, functions, etc.) I hired a part-time local lady from Sparkle Maids to do all the cleaning in the house. We also have a retired gardener to wash the car (most of my neighbors go to him for this chore - he is very good.) It works out very well for me.

I used to have a full-time helper pre-baby days and I rationalized that a helper can't be doing everything my previous helper was doing PLUS babysitting duties. For me, it's either get extra help or get a babysitter for those days I need to go out.

:Butbut I do, however, heard of super-helpers who do everything, including taking care of three children, cleaning two cars and walking the dog each day. I just don't know who they are and how they do it! Their employers must be very lucky people.

 

[HappyV]

'Super helpers' who do everything? - "including taking care of three children, cleaning two cars and walking the dog each day." ??????
In most cultures, this would just be called "Mum."

 

[Konradsmom]

HappyV - hahahaha !!!

have to say that there ARE helpers like that, my helper at her previous employer took care of 2 flats, plus old granny at an elderly home, and took the toddler to school etc etc. it was tough work for her and she managed, but I just felt that I'd still rather have someone give more attention to bub.

 

[Query]

I've seen helpers in our block washing cars at 10-11 pm at night. Of course, there are 24 hours in a day, but is it really humane to work your helper that hard??? They don't really get paid much.....much much less than what an i-banker would..........

 

[nat1969]

here is my experience - we hired a helper to look after a 18 mo and 3.5 yo (who is in school 8:30-3:30); she managesd to clean and care for 2 kids...she wasnt a great cook so she only makes meals for the kids (i eat at work or make myself dinner);
we just had #3 and i got a 2nd helper FT so she cook look after the baby when i return to work; the household cleaning could be divided a bit and cooking for kids still is done by #1.....
i def reviewed their previous work histories to see how hard they were working before to ensure they werent shocked by what they needed to do

 

[HappyV]

I was talking to my helper about this earlier in the week. She said that most families hire helpers who have had their own children, and so understand the demands of caring for a newborn and young children.
She said that many helpers come from families where there are several children to take care of, plus a house...........however do they manage? Well, it's called real life.

It's quite a crazy idea to suggest that to take care of a baby and a flat is 'too much' for one person.

 

[LeahH]

Happy V, everyone acknowleges it is physically possible for one person to 'do it all', that doesn't mean it is desirable - working conditions in all forms of employment (should) naturally improve over time - DHs are no different to those working in other industries where work/life balance is becoming increasingly important.

Doing it all might have been the norm back in the day, but the vast majority of stay at home mums I know in Europe and Aust/NZ have cleaners, babysitters, family who help out etc. etc.

Some hire additional FT or PT help to free up time for more attention/stimulation for the children, others may have demanding babies that require constant attention - or it could be that people prefer to treat their employees at home as they do their employees in the workplace i.e. if you are able to, why not create optimum working conditions.

It is all of the above for me.