BF in Nursing Room - bad experience

[peainpod]

Wow, I started the post, it was just to vent some frustration I felt at the time, I certainly didn't mean for it to turn into this emotional debate. Sorry if my OP offended anyone, it wasn't meant to.

Thanks Cool-gaga for sharing your experience - I appreciated hearing about it and sorry if you felt attacked afterwards.

To carang/jane/mum2b, I realize that many bfing moms think canopies are a waste of time. It's just that for a NEW mom, there's a bit of a learning curve in adjusting to the whole bfing routine, and part of it is getting comfortable enough with your own body and the feeding routine to do it in public without needing a cover. I think it's a personal choice and one that should not require defending.

I have nothing against parents bottle-feeding their babies and understand that it is convenient to do so in a quiet room. However, it is Bfing Room (and not a Parent Room) so I feel that if there are bfing moms around, then expecting the dads to retreat (when there is a sign saying men are prohibited from entering) is not unreasonable. And certainly having the remaining moms glare at you while you feed your own baby is not the most comfortable of experiences. That is ALL I am saying.

 

[carang]

"it is Bfing Room (and not a Parent Room) so I feel that if there are bfing moms around, then expecting the dads to retreat (when there is a sign saying men are prohibited from entering) is not unreasonable"

i AGREE with you!

i'm sorry if you felt under attack, it wasn't meant that way.... it was meant to try to bolster your self-confidence!

 

[nsl]

Peainpod, I would have felt really frustrated in your shoes. I'm still bf my 9 month old baby, whom now hates bf canopy. I will greatly appreciate other mommies(and/daddies) being more understanding that not everyone is comfortable to bf in public despite being proud of it. And YES, i ithink bfing mom should have the privilege of using the bfing room.

 

[hkaussie]

My ideal situation is to have a 'parents' room, where involved and caring Dads can also feed and change their babies without feeling like perverts or intruders. BUT to also have separated breastfeeding booths or curtained cubicles within this room for those women who feel like they would like more privacy. The Disneyland baby care room is the only place I know of in HK that is like this.

I detest breastfeeding in public, even in front of close friends unless they are also breastfeeding mothers. I feel very uncomfortable about potentially showing off part of my body that is normally kept modestly covered for a reason. I also hate strangers looking at me when feeding, even just out of curiosity. I would much rather relax on my own and be able to get comfortable, and have my baby feel peaceful rather than struggle to conceal everything.

Like someone else said, everyone is different. It's great that some mothers feel completely ok about whipping it out and doing what's natural, while glaring at anyone who dares to tell them off. But try to understand that other women feel self-conscious about an act which is sometimes quite difficult and new and would rather have the choice to do it away from the presence of others, especially men who might be uncomfortable with it.

Jane's suggestion of a muslin wrap is what I did when I was not able to go somewhere private to feed my baby.

 

[eflats]

I bf in public and don't have a problem but I do feel bad about others being obviously uncomfortable. I know folks say they hate the nursing covers and I did too until I got this one: http://www.bebeaulait.com/ - it's fantastic as it has a bowed top so you can see down to your baby and it prevents them from getting so hot as air circulates through. and for the most part they can't pull it off b/c there is a loop that goes over your neck (when they are older - around 7-8 months they can pull it up but still they can't get it off). It's a tad pricey but I've used this all over the place and I love it so and think it's worth it so if you're looking for something give this a try. No idea if they have them here in HK as I got mine in the US but maybe an internet site will ship to you.

 

[peainpod]

Hey those are really nice. I also saw some great nursing covers in a Japanese baby mag that a friend brought over from Tokyo but I've never seen any in Hong Kong. (The one I currently use is from B2B but it's just plain flannel and kinda floppy).

Bebe au lait site says that it does int'l shipping but there's an extra US$21 surcharge - which seems rather pricey for a $35 product.

 

[eflats]

yeah - that is ridiculous. I searched and apparently a store in macau careries them - maybe thy'll ship over to HK for much less. I really like mine and I've given many as presents and all the woman I give them to love them as well.

 

[peainpod]

I've emailed the Macao store (Doubibou, right?) and am waiting for them to get back to me. If it's not too much, I may splurge and buy one! (I'm starting to use the nursing cover less now, so it'll be kind of an indulgent purchase - but what the heck, I deserve something nice for all those sleepless nights from breastfeeding!)

 

[carang]

i just suggested a curtained room to a friend of mine yesterday after discussing this thread. she is a bf new mum and has a hard time doing it in public too....

 

[peainpod]

Yes, curtained rooms/private booths often work better than "communal bf rooms" b/c your husband can be in there with you (assuming there's enough space for both of you.) In an emergency, the fitting rooms of some of the bigger stores could also be an option. (Some are quite roomy - and even come equipped with small sofas!)

I guess we are all learning as we go along. After this thread, I'm going to stop using a nursing cover in public when I can do it discreetly.