BF in Nursing Room - bad experience

[cyberfish88]

I have to say that all this discussion about breastfeeding in public has inspired me. I have been pretty comfortable doing it in the easy places like coffee shops but not much beyond that and usually with the Bebeaulait cover. I am slowly realizing people really don't even notice if you do it casually - even without a cover. I am impressed with Mumto2 for having bf in taxis and on the MTR! I live on an outlying island so am getting good at nursing on the ferry, even without a cover but will have to try the MTR!

I am all for the idea of parenting rooms so a husband can be there and rooms with curtained areas for those uncomfortable in front of others. I get so annoyed with the nursing rooms that just feel like renamed bathrooms that I don't bother with them. (Although some of the hotels have great bathrooms for nursing! Like the Shangri La and the Mandarin)

 

[mumto2]

What I like most about curtained rooms is if they have a BIG COMFY chair in there and I can relax because I've probably been shopping...lol...

Gosh I'm sorry you felt put out peainpod...that was not my intention AT ALL. I know that some women get a bit embarrassed etc about whipping it out in public but I certainly didn't mean to make those mums not feel validated...I just wanted to share my experiences that once you do, you will notice that not many people really pay any attention.

cyberfish, me feeding everywhere was more about the fact that "baby hungry, have boobs"...lol...it just didn't occur to me for more than just the briefest moment that this might be uncomfortable or embarrassing...have to feed child...was very primitive and cavewoman-like with first bubs...lol...

If people look at me questioningly or like I'm doing something wrong, I just tell them that we're too poor to afford formula...lol

 

[dolphinyp]

Hi all, we're all in the Motherhood, just let us have more understanding on other's need and more caring, life would be easier in this way. So Peainpod , don't got put off by anyone, keep going to bf your baby , you're giving the best u can.Cheers.

 

[mumto2]

oops forgot what i was meant to say in my last post too was sometimes what i do when feeding in front of lots of people is say you're feeding from your right breast, then I put my left hand over my breast, it pretty much covers the whole thing and bubs has got the nipple in her mouth...might help someone?

 

[fennho]

Tagging on to may's post, I have to add that strangely enough, the tolerance for the exposure of breasts/nipples are high when its a Caucasian doing it (BF) in public. Locals simply wave it off as an expat things, but boy or boy if its a local woman doing it uncovered!! (altho I'm not local, I'm a Chinese looking woman from Singapore). I have got scolded even when I nursed WITH my nursing cover on!! Scolded for "doing such shameless thing" in public the minute they realised that I'm nursng beneath the cover. Same theory if a Caucasian go braless in a tank top vs a local woman doing the same? Guess who will get chided? Its like being an Asian, we are SUPPOSED to KNOW our culture and limitation! I certainly dont agree BUT tat wont stop these people from scolding us and having their bias opinions known out loud! What can I say. Sometimes I get angry and retort back but sometmes I jus can't be bothered. Its an unfair world. Having said tat, I use a cover becos altho I am proud of breastfeeding, I am also uneasy exposing myself, becos now that my gal is older, she always struggles and wriggle around a lot, and if I don't use one I'm always ended up with a naked breast left hanging. LOL!

 

[LLL_Sarah]

I'm always being told that the Hong Kong culture is one of not breastfeeding in public. But I'd like to remind you all that the customs in a culture are transient and are always changing. 50 years ago it was common to see babies being breastfeed in public in Hong Kong. My mother-in-law was a hawker selling fruit in Happy Valley and she breastfeed all six of her babies while selling fruit. It was the normal practice then.

And although breastfeeding in public is uncommon in today's society I urge everyone who feels comfortable (with or without a cover) to breastfeed in public. It is only by doing so that we will change the customs back to being more breastfeeding friendly.

When I was shy about breastfeeding in public one thought that urged me on was the thought of changing the society so that my daughter would find breastfeeding in public comfortable - I think it is important to see this as a long term goal - because attitudes are unlike to change quickly but if we work together they will change.

SARAH

 

[fennho]

Sarah
I dunno about HK but in malaysia (where my mom is from) and Singapore as well, 50yrs ago most mothers breastfed their babies not becos they know of the benefits of BM, but most do it out of poverty cos back then a can of formula milk is VERY expensive and not affordable to some, thus they will resort back to bf and the tendencies for having tots that only the rich can afford to buy top of the line formulas from that generation of mothers. I hv a lot of friends in Sg complaining that their mother in law and even their own mothers kept pressurizing them to feed baby FM simply becos they think its expensive = good. In general, older Asian women still think that if u can afford to buy good FM, why bf? Thus the frown on exposing urself in public. Of cos there are the ones who keep up and are aware of the good benefits of BM and not adverse to it. But still some still think BF mothers shud do this in private than in public. I agree totally we shud be working towards changing this mentality!!

 

[LLL_Sarah]

What you've said confirms my message - attitudes are changing but it is taking time.

20 years ago most of the grandmothers had breastfed and now most didn't.

50 years ago the poor breastfed and the rich didn't. Now, however, it is the rich (well educated) that are breastfeeding and the poor who aren't.

Think how this will change the attitudes towards breastfeeding in the next 20 years.

I wouldn't want to ask anyone to do something that they are embarrassed to do but if you feel comfortable then breastfeeding in public is not just for your baby NOW but in the future too.

And I totally agree that as the baby starts to move around and become distracted while feeding - it definitely gets more changing to do it in public.

SARAH

 

[calypso]

While I personally don't mind breastfeeding in public (and still do with my 10-mth-old), some people are more shy or conservative or modest or less confident. The OP is obviously in one of those categories. There's nothing wrong with that - everyone is different. And let's face facts, with certain babies at certain ages, it IS difficult to feed discreetly - lots of bobbing on and off and exposing a nipple when babies are around 3-4mths, or with a newborn, mum often has to wave the nipple around to try to get little one to latch on.

What I'm trying to say is please give the OP a break - she didn't create this thread to be made to feel silly for wanting to feed her baby without men around. She wanted a bit of sympathy - and as a supportive community, we should give her that - not lecture her on the rights and wrongs of breastfeeding rooms versus bottle-feeding rooms, or mums' rooms versus parents' rooms.

Good luck to all - however you feed your little ones - in finding a nice spot in HK to do that! :gl:

Live and let live, and big hugs to all!!! :grouphug:

Agreed, I feed at Starbucks/pacific coffee with a cover but much prefer a private room with no men allowed. Reason being my 3 month old quite often will get distracted and release exposing me.

 

[RinkoWingman]

Hey,
Don't feel bad because someone else has poor manners.
You did nothing wrong. I'm fine with the dads in there, but when you 'nicely' ask them to leave, they should. Well..these ones did.. Too bad if the moms have no manners.
Let them be like that..
You can't change them. Just try to change the effect they have on you.

Good luck!