Are you generally happy with your helper(s)?

[HK2008]

what makes up a good helper to me

I'm actually v interested reading this thread. I'm on my first helper.(new to all this) We hired her because she seems very honest, has good attitude and seems genuinely caring about our children. Negative side: her cooking ability is poor. (Trying to train her up at the moment and she is trying - but she's having difficulty saying goodbye to all the oil and salt!), she is very forgetful and lacks common sense sometimes. I'm going back to work on a few months and I'm going through the 'ahhh - what to do' phase..Children are the priority, so it it better to ignore the odd frustration with less important things rather than risk getting someone who is less caring about the kids..? I'm intererested to what makes up the 'perfect helper' and how easy they are to come by. My rational at the moment is that you're not going to get a mixture of Mary Poppins and Gordon Ramsey willing to work for a helper's wage????!

I can see some helpers seem to belong to the in-between category---not bad enough to be terminated; yet much to be desired/improved. As I mentioned rather excitedly in another post, the following are what my helper makes me very happy with her:

1. she has very high standard towards her work, either cleaning, or cooking, or looking after my children; and she herself finds what needs to be cleaned/taken care of;
2. she also plans/prioritises her time to fit in to our routines; everything around the household is well taken care of, yet we don't feel the least bit of her intruding on our privacy;
3. she cooks genuinely restaurant quality foods; but she still studies in her spare time different cookbooks to improve the variety of cuisines; honestly we haven't dined out once since she joined us two and half weeks ago. As Carang once said, it's like dinning out everyday anyway with a good helper---you don't need to cook(the restaurant quality food), nor you need to clean up!
4. she's so skilled at looking after my children: she follows my DD around in the playground to ensure her safety and encourage her to try out new equipments; she cooks and serves the right amount and right variety of foods to both of my kids---it's a combination of meat and veggies...
5. she's honest and grateful---she told me that she should not be entitled to paid statutory holidays within the first three months; when I said to her we will pay, she said 'why Mam? You are too nice to me. I'm very happy working for you already. You don't need to pay. I'm not entitled to that...
6. more importantly, we chat to each other a lot. She talks to me about her family problems, seeking my opinions if she cannot resolve something by herself.

I don't want to sound like I'm over glorifying her, but looks like I really cannot help it...I'd like to say my helper is perfect, but I'd also learned from some ladies here that one can never be too careful...

 

[aussiegal]

We love our helper but it took us three tries to get it right.

I won't go into why we love her, the usual reasons (makes life a little easier) but I thought I'd share a story a friend told me.

A friend of hers had the same helper for approx 18 years, right from when the first child was born. They loved her and considered her part of the family. Took her on many holidays abroad, trusted her implicitly and looked after her well. In return the helper did a great job. Loved the children, was a great cook, great cleaner etc. When it was time for her to go back to the Phillipines (no need for a helper once all the children were in their teens) the helper asked if she could cook a cake and take it back with her to remind her of all the cakes she'd cooked for the children over the years. Apparently she used to make beautiful, complicated cakes. The employer thought that was so sweet and said of course she could.

When it was time to leave the employer drove the helper to the airport to say goodbye. On the way the helper started having a breakdown saying she'd left the cake at home and they had to go back and get it. The employer said they didn't have time and there was no way she was going all the way back home for a cake. The helper would just have to make one when she got home. After all, she knew the recipe.

The helper was beside herself. Really getting upset, crying etc. But the employer wouldn't budge. She left her at the airport, said goodbye and drove home.

That night the family sat down to dinner and remembered they had a cake to eat for dessert. After a few bites they discovered that the cake was not all it had seemed. The helper had hidden all the wife's jewellery in the cake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Imagine that, after 18 years of trusting someone!

 

[Buckeroo]

Hi aussiegal, I'd heard the same story, too --5 years ago! I remember it because a well-meaning colleague told it to me as a "warning" when I first mentioned that we would need to hire full-time help. I wonder how much of that is urban legend, though...

 

[aussiegal]

Yeah I heard that it happened quite awhile ago. I'm sure it's probably both an urban legend and true story! I've heard lots of stories of jewellery, expensive items etc going missing so it would be quite possible that this has actually happened at some point in time. It's just a really clever way of doing it!

I always try and remind myself that no matter how much I love my helper she does come from a different world to mine with different opportunities and that I should take nothing for given.

 

[Buckeroo]

I always try and remind myself that no matter how much I love my helper she does come from a different world to mine with different opportunities and that I should take nothing for given.

Amen to that.

 

[HK2008]

Thanks aussiegal. Sorry I was so shocked that my fingers could not type as fast as usual...I'm speechless after reading this story. I will take this trust thing to a very serious level from now on. Thanks again for this warning.

 

[carang]

i agree, aussiegal, i believe that your story is much of an urban legend. i've heard it many times in my 14 yrs here. each time the details are slightly different, but essentially it is the same story.

 

[anniese]

Just read this news from the other forum, the maid keep kicking the kid, it's shocking and tears welled up my eyes. Can't believe someone could do that to a small kid.

Maid kicks, kicks and kicks child

WARNING: Video may be disturbing to some viewers.

 

[radicalmum]

Oh my god! oh my god! oh my holy god! I can't bear to finish the clip! I totally feel for the parent and how traumatize and hurt the child is.

When my helper(first one) came 7 months ago, my baby was only 2 months old and i never left her alone with my maid(yes, i was paranoid and hormonal). But over the course of time, we got to know each other, we both aren't perfect, alot of learning, adjusting and communications later...

I'm happy with my helper but i'm not taking chances.. not that i don't trust her nor i think that she would do that but it's for a peace of my mind.

I'll be moving in 1 month time and i'm definitely going to install a surveillance system prior to moving in and let my maid know that it's mainly for me to check on baby because i miss her...

Or does anybody have experiences to share on having surveillance cameras at home? do you inform your helper about it? how do you make it sound less offensive or?

thanks.

Just read this news from the other forum, the maid keep kicking the kid, it's shocking and tears welled up my eyes. Can't believe someone could do that to a small kid.

Maid kicks, kicks and kicks child

WARNING: Video may be disturbing to some viewers.

 

[HK2008]

I couldn't continue watching even for a few seconds. It's sickening to my stomach and making my blood boil. We really have to be super careful when picking a maid to look after our little precious. And when I go back to work, I will install a computer cam and will let my helper know that I've installed it(to respect her privacy).