Your Child's Reading ability

[Linda&Hanley]

Can't agree more with run4fun's advice not to 'deprive them their rights of experiencing life and viewing the world with their own eyes'. Years back I took my child to a trial class doing right-mind training but then decided that it was not the right kind of playgroup for him (they're showing pictures and words that children won't get in touch with in their daily life). Nevertheless, talking about early literacy, I don't see any reason why they shouldn't learn to read using flash cards given that it is only a small part of their learning experience (say, 3 minutes every day) and it won't really deprive them of any opportunities to engage in other activities like reading books, playing toys or visiting the park...

Linda

 

[Bubbly]

I also agree that we should not deprive them of life experiences. If you are doing flashcards for 24 hours a day in a room with just mom, no baby will ever enjoy that. As Linda says, flashcard only takes 3 mins a day, for the rest of the day, you can do whatever you want with your baby, games, Ocean park, reading, singing etc.

The formula I gave is just the way I think a lot of parents think, it may be a little naive but you cannot say it's wrong. I do not agree that formula is the best way to go but I was just giving it as an example that we should not never judge others as they must have a reason behind doing things even if it is not in our opinion the 'best' way.

I do see a lot of kids who had a 'happy childhood' but because they were 'too happy' and did not experience any pressure at all throughout their childhood, that when they face the 'real' world, they are in shock. They cannot face any challenges and tend to give up very easily. I have interviewed and employed so many of these kids that it is sad to see the new generation like that.

There are life long arguments about the 'best' teaching methods for children and I am in no position to challenge any of these experts Montessori, Doman, Shichida, Suzuki, Steiner etc. However, I just think that doing something the whole family enjoys is, for me, the best way to bring up my happy child.

As I mentioned before, I was raised without many toys (as my parents were quite poor then), algebra and hang man were my games and pieces of scrunched up paper and hand drawn mazes were my toys. Without realising these were actually maths, spelling, creativity and art. I found school very fun as I could do a lot of things without any effort. I cannot say whether I am 'ahead' of others but I am certainly happier than a lot of people (those who know me will know how cheerful and happy I am), no matter how much work/ stress I have.

That is my aim for my baby (and babies to come! :flower, a happy go easy personality who can still face reality and endure some pressure and stress.

 

[aussiegal]

Bubbly, i think that there is no such thing as a 'too happy' child as you say. people don't face problems in life as adults because they were too happy as children but because they knew no discipline growing up and were not held accountable for the actions.

A very interesting fact that many people seem to be missing is that the most successful kids at school are, for the very large majority, NOT the most successful people in life. Achieving good grades at school means you are good at rote learning. Big deal... Look back at the people you went to school with, i'm sure most will agree that the people who turned out the 'most successful' by modern day standards, i.e. good job, good income, were not the highest achievers in class.

Run4fun is right, children learn best from doing and it's a hell of a lot more fun than reading a one dimensional flash card.

 

[Linda&Hanley]

Different people have different views about what a happy childhood is, but academic life is a reality that every child has to face. I'm one of those local parents who chose the international stream to avoid the unnecessary pressure of frequent tests and heavy workload given to the children. I'm also among those who started to teach their children to read early, with the initial intention of fostering right brain development. I don?t know whether it?s really made my child smarter, but what?s true is that his early literacy is achieved with no pain at all -- he did enjoy the process and now has fun reading lots of books on his own. The few minutes we spent on word cards daily when he was small has actually saved him lots of time he would otherwise have spent on revising for dictations now.

High-achievers academic-wise do not necessarily become successful in their career eventually, but I believe there must be some areas in school (whether academic or non-academic) that let the children feel a sense of achievement, or how are they going to like their school life? Those whose parents don?t see academic results as the sole indicator of their achievement in school are the lucky ones indeed. Yet those parents exercising their will to help develop their children?s full potential not in sacrifice of their happy childhood deserve equal respect.

Linda

 

[Poppy]

Yes I agree Linda, and indeed Lily and I have a full 'fun' academic schedule throughout the day that promotes academic learning in all areas. I find leaving a child to play on their own and not spending time with them 'teaching them about the world' just as abusive as force feeding academic studies to them. But like you I find the learning in local schools in Hong Kong to be unrealistically 'harsh' (not really the right word but can't think of better) - especially for young toddlers (2-4yr olds).

I am not judging anyone, indeed I have a lot of respect for parents who love their children enough to spend time with them every day teaching them about the world. I have always spent a lot of time with my daughter reading, drawing, playing in the park, playing make believe dress up and everything else, and through that she is a smart kid (and will definitely be reading by the time she is 4yrs). But, I think that a lot of parents in this city do feel pressured into a certain academic standard for their children - even when they are just 2 yrs old! I don't know where it comes from, but I do think it can put a strain on children's true learning (which is not just academic). I also think that unlike any other city in the world a lot of parents here do not have time to spend with their children (although I am sure they would like to) so they try to look for quick fixes to get their children up to this very high achieving standard - flash cards is lets face it quite a quick fix! In fact the beauty of flash cards is anyone can do it - even the helper.

On the other hand though, because I do have a 'smart' kid, at 36 months old she does actually thrive in the 'harsh' environment of a local school (in an international class) because it is so academically orientated! So now we are moving to a different country I worry that she will not get the same challenging environment that she seems to love so much ...

I guess, in a nut shell, when it comes down to it, it is about the children, and finding what truly makes them happy.

*breath*
xx

 

[Bubbly]

:cheerlead

Well said Linda & Lolipop. I agree totally with you. To me, it has always been 'do what you think is best for your child and do not judge other'.

Lolipop, I am sure your child will do well and adapt well whereever she goes! Good luck with the move.

 

[carang]

READ at 12 months???? most kids can't even talk by then! how can they possibly read??

 

[carang]

ps. i know a fellow english tutor that has a mother force feeding her 4/5 year old daughter vocabulary now because she "won't have time to learn it later on"

i have no problem with children learning, but many in this city forget that a child's main work is PLAY!!! THAT'S how kids learn! they learn through interaction. they learn problem solving. they even learn physics/structural engineering (think centre of gravity when building a tower!) the only difference is that they can't say, "you see, mother... if i place the block too much to one side, the whole tower collapses. this is because i haven't figured out the correct centre of gravity upon which the whole tower depends."

please, let your kids be kids for as long as possible! they have 2 decades of schooling to look forward to...they will have a whole lifetime of learning, IF you teach them a love of learning and instill in them a hunger for knowledge and a "child-like" sense of curiosity!

good luck to all mothers out there. we are all doing the best we know how.

 

[loupou]

Hi all,

Disjointed ramblings below.

*************

Ends and means, ends and means. You cannot separate out ends and means.

People say that they want a child who will be successful & happy - but what do they mean by that? One culture or one parent's idea of success could be completely opposite to another.

In some cultures at some times - having a child who grew up to be a celibate contemplative was the height of success, because that was the greatest thing a person could do.

However, for many people in most parts of the "developed world", if their son or daughter now says "I am going to live secluded and take a vow of chastity, poverty, and obedience" the parents would go "Oh, no!"

Why are some parents so worried or concerned about academic success for their kids?

Because they see the limited spaces in the universities, and they see education as one of the primary methods of social mobility (which it has been in Chinese society since Imperial Exams began in the Han Dynasty). They want their kids to have a "better" life than their own.

Or, they may be worried because they attribute their own financial or social success in life to their education and the friends and connections they made in the schooling and fear their children will not be able to replicate this success ("fear of falling").

There is also the concern that children are a mirror of their parents. If one's child does well in school and goes to a "good" university - it reflects well on the parents (they must have done things right!).

In the USA (where I am from) - many parents are concerned about their kids' athletic prowess. The energy and devotion that the parents and communities bring to watching the young people's athletics is somewhat similar to the way that in Hong Kong, the newspapers and television stations cover the HKCEE and A-levels results.

So, where I grew up, what is a "happy & successful" young person? Often, the one who gets picked first for the ball teams, the captain of the team, the "starters" on the high school basketball or football (US rules) teams.

If I want to raise a child who is a champion meditator, I guess I would start him or her out at 18 months practicing sitting still and quieting the mind. If I want to raise a child who is a champion contortionist, I would probably start him or her learning to twist into pretzel shapes at the age of 2 or 3. If I wanted to raise a champion ice hockey player - I would probably get him or her out on the ice at the age of 2 or 3. After all, don't all children naturally love to find quiet within, or stand on their heads, or glide on the ice?

Of course, some will have a natural disposition that makes them better at meditating, acrobatics, or ice hockey than other children. As they age, they will also see if their own inclinations match their training. Others will always remain mediocre or at it, or burn out on it, or become good at it, but not really LOVE it. Others (very few) will become adepts and LOVE it.

So, my hope for my kids are to raise people who are "well integrated" who understand and know their weaknesses and strengths. I want them to know how to do research and learn to ask interesting questions, because that has given so much pleasure to me (just like a golfer mom may want her kids to learn to golf, because it gives her so much pleasure).

I want them also to have a strong sense of service and work hard to do good in the world, to help those born less fortunate (even, if they cannot afford the latest technological wonder or fashionable clothes). I hope to instill in them a strong conscience. So, this means I hope that for a good part of their lives they sit around examining themselves and seeing how they Fall Short & Fail & firmly resolve to do better. Nice mother, hunh?

So, since these are my ends, the means I use to achieve them are different from a parent who wants his or her kid to get 9As in a big exam & play cello for the Philharmonic.

Is my goal better than others? Sometimes I think so. Other times I think I'm just fooling myself & that it's no better or worse, just different.

Ends and Means.

 

[carang]

"help develop their children?s full potential not in sacrifice of their happy childhood deserve equal respect"

i agree with you to a certain extent.

how do you think those children feel when their parents end up on the evening news in hysterics because their child didn't get into the school they were hoping for???

do you think that makes the child feel whole? loved for themselves? that there is more to them than marks and getting into the "best" school?

or do you think that they are more likely to feel inferior? inadequate? unable to please mummy and daddy and therefore not good enough???

growing up in canada, i can honestly say that i NEVER heard of young kids jumping out of buildings because they were afraid they hadn't done well enough in school.

in my 12 years here, it saddens me every year to hear of these poor kids who felt so alone and so much pressure that the only way out of it was through a window!!!

my respect of other's ways only extends so far....

and to those parents that do push their kids to "succeed" remember, you only have this time with them once. you will NEVER get it back again!

(this is not directed at anyone on this forum, just as a general observation.)