I have just made my decision - a difficult decision: quit a promising job with bright prospect and more money and returned to work for my previous employer (Thanks God my previous employer is willing to take me back!!!) The decision was really hard to make because the job with my previous employer (well, they are my current employer again!) is quite a dead-end job, i.e. steady income, hardly any pressure, very loose boss which means I can come late and leave early or even 'home-office' when I need it. Career prospect is not much, or even none. The reason I chose to accept a more promising job is because I think I should make a go at my career while I am still young (I am 34, which is the age I think I should really be serious about building my career before it is really too late). OK, I went to work at the new office for few days and I realised something wrong there - nothing wrong with the company, problem with myself not being able to accommodate to the situation. For the new job, I need to leave house an hour earlier than before, i.e. by 7:30am and get home, the earliest, 7:30pm (if I am not required to work overtime. But the fact is that I will be required to work overtime). Then, the new office does not allow any "flexibility". They don't allow you to be late for 2 hours because simply you need to take your sick baby to see a doctor; they don't allow an afternoon off because for some reason nobody can look after your kid for a half day (unless you formally apply for an annual leave). When you are unwell and need to pop out to see a doctor, you need to submit a form to the HR department for approval...etc. I know thousands of people work under this kind of environment, but sorry, I can't, not when I become a mother having a little baby at home. The fact that I leave home in the morning so early that I can't even see my baby waving goodbye to me hurt me enough; the thought of not being able to 'fly' home to see him when he is sick and in need of me; and the thought of not being to take him to see a doctor and give him lots of hugs before I leave him for work really 'freaks me out'. Struggle is there: Do I need a job with good prospect and good money but sacrifice my time with my baby? NO NO NO. My baby was sick for nearly two weeks during the CNY holidays and I have 'home-office' for 3 days. My previous employer has no problem with it, as I am still working but only not in the office. He understands my son needs me and he understands how worrying I would be. This is the boss / the company I need.
And, I am planning on a baby No 2 in 1~2 years. With TWO little babies at home, I know I have made the right decision to move back to my previous company working for a boss with flexibility.
Some women are very career-minded and ambitious and they chose to leave their kids with helper ALL DAY and feel alright. When I decided to resign from the new company, I told the Head of HR (a woman) the reason. She said, "be a working woman, you have to be cruel with your kids. You can leave him with your helper all day so it should be ok as at least you know your kid has someone to look after him." Well, having someone to look after my baby is one thing; being able to be with him when he needs me is another thing.
I don't think some women can be a full-time mum; but I think the best situation would be either 'work part-time' or find a company/a boss who can offer some flexibility.
