wisdom of getting pregnant when both husband and wife are unemployed

[bagel]

Hello,

I am debating the wisdom of getting pregnant with my second child when both myself and my husband are unemployed. I feel the urgency as I will be 37 soon whereas husband feels that since he has been unemployed for 1.5 years it is irresponsible to have financial expenditures associated with pregnancy, delivery etc etc. I understand the concern, especially not knowing how much longer this unemployed phase will last however, my advanced maternal age is of concern and feel ready for the second.

Having gone through this geobaby site, I am inclined to choose Prince of Wales in Shatin because of their neo natal unit. My question is: can people give me an idea of the cost of pregnancy tests, delivery if we choose this hospital? When people say, pregnancy tests and delivery costs next to nothing at public hospitals what do they mean? I can't seem to find the answer in this site.

If we switch to a new health insurance plan in HK, we need to wait 8 months for maternity cover to kick in. Am I right? Our current insurance cover is only 65%.

Would appreciate some information! Thank you!

 

[AmyH]

I am not sure about the cost of pregnancy tests etc but I delivered in PWH. It was an emergency c-section and I was in for 3 nights - total cost $350 HK.

 

[AmyH]

Also, I did have some pre-natal appointments to register at the hospital and some check ups (but no scans) and this did not cost anything.

 

[Shenzhennifer]

I would just do it personally. 9 months is a long time and things can change fast.
I'm almost in my 8th month of pregnancy and aside from anything private, I haven't paid a cent. I heard that the charge in the public hospitals for delivery is basically $100 a night.
This is my second child and most people practically told me to wait bc of our own personal situation, but I just went ahead anyway. Can't wait!

 

[lesliefu]

I know IHI makes you wait 1 year before being able to claim maternity for their insurance...would double check to be sure as they can all vary.

also, i'd have the baby - you probably have reserves so financially you guys are fine - considering your hubby can be without a job for 1.5yrs, it sounds to be that things should be fine financially. having said that have you thought of when is the latest you'd have a kid? before 40? did you fall pregnant easily the first time around or did it take ages? if it was "easy" then you could wait....but the stress of wanting one will probably take a tool on the baby making process...so, my advice would be to just go for it and let nature take it's path!

 

[carang]

i agree, i know it would be absolutely terrifying for both you and hubby, but if you wait, you may not have another chance.

the other thing is that somehow, you ALWAYS make it work when a baby is involved, be it buying second-hand, accepting donations from friends etc, but in the end, you ALWAYS make it work.

just to let you know, i was hospitalised A LOT over 2 pregnancies in a public hospital. it was $100/day, baby was $50 (if memory serves). all necessary meds were either free or $10/scrip.

 

[mummymoo]

Bagel I would think carefully and have a serious talk with your hubby. Financial stress is one of the major reasons why a marriage implodes, another source of stress is the arrival of new babies as they take so much out of you (although to be fair they give much more back in return but it is exhausting).
If you have the financial reserves and all it would take is a downgrade in the accommodation, buying secondhand (like Cara suggested), eating out less etc then by all means, as if you really, really want number 2, go for it. But if your financial situation is not so robust (this is a relative thing in the eyes of the beholder and only you and your hubby truly know) then you really need to think carefully and don't paint your hubby in a corner. Hope this helps and goodluck.

 

[nicolejoy]

I think I'd go for it personally - but as mummymoo mentioned, I would have a think about what other financial sacrifices you would be able to make if you really did need it.

I know I had a plan to wait until we were married for a year and then start trying to have a baby after that, and have a baby by our second anniversary. But life didn't happen like that - since we were planning to move here after our first anniversary, we decided to wait for a while, then we started trying around our second anniversary but it took us a year to conceive first time around - so by the time that we had a child, we'd already been married for close to four years.

Life doesn't go exactly how we plan it - and when it comes to having kids, my opinion is that if you want a child, then sooner is often better than later because later, ANYTHING could happen and then you might be left with regrets. Generally people wouldn't regret having a child - even if the timing wasn't ideal. You're much more likely to regret NOT having one. Yes, you might have to sacrifice some things, or change the way you do things to fit a child into your family... but it's worth it

That's just my opinion anyway

 

[thanka2]

My dad has this thing he always says: "If you're waiting until you have 'enough money' to have a child, you will never have children."

You don't seem to be panicky that you and your husband are both unemployed presently. You said he has been unemployed for 1.5 years. Did you just recently become unemployed?

I think that before you decide to go ahead and have another baby it might be a good idea to sit down and make a list of pros and cons or even a list of resources. Although you may be unemployed you may have other resources you can draw upon or even family members who would come to your aid should your really be in need of finances. I would write all of these things down on paper and talk honestly with your husband about it. Also, if he is truly resistant to the idea, I think it's smart to take that into account because, just as another member here commented, pregnancy and childbirth coupled with financial stress can mean the ruin of many marriages.

Having said that, you do have a valid concern considering your age. Some women can get pregnant and have children into their 40s with little problem but that's not a guarantee for everyone. From my point of view, there is no law that says you have to have a ton of money in the bank to have a kid and many people the world over prove that theory true every day.

But, another consideration is that in Hong Kong, if you're pregnant and seeking employment you're going to have a very difficult time finding it. There is a lot of indirect discrimination against women who are pregnant in this city. Yes, there are laws to protect pregnant women but they generally don't really apply to women who are not already employed. Just something to think about.

In the end, I think you'll choose the route with least regrets.

 

[matemate]

Financial stress is one of the major reasons why a marriage implodes, another source of stress is the arrival of new babies as they take so much out of you (although to be fair they give much more back in return but it is exhausting).

just to add to mummymoo's point from a male perspective:
in general, the reason financial stress is not good for a marriage is not because of the wife, but rather the hubby who feels stressed. if your wife falls pregnant, the husband will get his own dose of hormones that tell him to go and earn money (i.e. provide) for the family. if he is unemployed and can't do so, you are getting him into a very unsatisfactory situation that can cause all kind of issues - except of course he can work this through with himself (just to have said it, any rationale advice by the wife usually does not help in such a situation...)