no, but to get his attention.
clearly she is not even getting his attention right now. a jolt sometimes works...
Will we ever leave Hong Kong?
- Thread starter NewMommie
- Start date
- Status
no, but to get his attention.
clearly she is not even getting his attention right now. a jolt sometimes works...
2010-NewDad
Registered User
Not sure if this is a jibe at me or not. I wouldn't be so presumptuous as to give advice on someones marriage when only hearing one side of the argument. Many here don't share my reticence.
However, it seems clear to me both parents need to share some of the responsibly for the alcohol issue. Most authorities recommend against co-sleeping with very young babies - by placing the baby in the bed the risks are increased to start with. These are compounded by placing the baby in the bed with someone who is known to over-drink as every single piece I have read on co-sleeping expressly forbids it when alcohol is involved.
Why wasn't the baby moved out of the bed prior to the husband coming home at in the early hours? Even if this wasn't done, why was he allowed to climb into bed and stay there? Either the husband needs to be moved or the mother and baby need to move. The baby's safety is the first, second and third priority. The husband was completely and shamelessly out of line and takes most of the blame here. However, placing the baby in harms way was not the smartest decision either.
As I say, I don't know how to resolve the tensions in the marriage... but I wouldn't give any advice without hearing both sides of the argument as it could easily do more harm than good.
Co-sleeping can be very beneficial for the baby and easier when you're breastfeeding on demand. It's much easier than getting up every couple hours to feed...this way both you and baby can feed and sleep comfortably...especially with a newborn. Husband probably should have slept on couch that night but was probably too drunk to realize it. Also sometimes it's difficult to reason with a drunk person. But yeah, I probably would have moved if drunk husband wasn't going to. Like people have said previously, we don't have both sides of the story; however, there are some serious issues here that cannot be ignored.
2010-NewDad
Registered User
Sure, I agree completely. We are breastfeeding on demand and thought about co-sleeping, however in the end we have the baby in a Moses basket by the side of the bed to try and negate the concerns about covering/stifling. It is a balancing act between the best choices for the baby and the best choices for the mother in terms of limiting the physical and emotional exhaustion that occur with sleep deprivation and breast feeding. There is no optimal choice, just a series of compromises we all have to make which depend on how fussy/thirsty/needy our babies are...
Not a jibe at you at all. You gave practical advice concerning co-sleeping not total justification of the husband's behavior. I guess I shouldn't have made a blanket statement about "the men" who shared on this thread. But a few seem to see nothing wrong at all with the behavior described.
The reality is on forums like this no one EVER gets both sides of the story so we just go with the information we're presented.
Men who are married to their work first and their wife second would definitely go to bat for the behavior described by the OP about her husband. That's what I was saying.
howardcoombs
Registered User
Heh! Dont let that stop you from making accusations and extrapolations based on your narrow interpretation of given facts.
*smile*
see, yet another generalisation followed by an accusation and conclusion based on no facts at all.
*smile*
Didn't stop you, so I figured it would work well for me as well. *SMILE*
Call it what you want. This is an opinion just as my posts are mostly opinions. Your point is moot.
HC: thanks. you so often put into words what i end up feeling after reading thanka2's posts
I contribute what I can. It's nice that in a forum one can let others do the talking for them if they wish.
- Status