What time does your husband get home?

[Shenzhennifer]

Mine is getting home later and later, especially since we moved to HK. Now it`s around 9. The baby is already in bed, and I`m nearly there and getting annoyed to either eat dinner alone or late and to spend all day and night feeling like a single parent. It`s not doing great things for our marriage. Am I being a brat?

 

[joyofliving]

You are not being a brat. Does he spend the time after 6 at work or drinking with colleagues? And is he coming home late 5 days a week?
My husband comes home around 7, most of the times our daughter is already asleep so he tries to come early if he can, to spend time with her. I think its a trend in HK for people to work till late and come home after drinks/ dinner.

 

[carang]

that seems to be the norm for many local families. of the children that i teach, most of them have VERY long afternoon naps and then they are kept awake until 11pm-1am so that the parents get to see them.

i must say, i'm very lucky. my husband works from home, so we don't have an issue with that, although i know if he worked a "regular" job here, i WOULD definitely have an issue. you are not acting like a brat. it took the both of you to make that baby, it isn't too much to expect that the both of you will help raise it.

 

[Smiles]

My husband is usually home at around 9pm as well (sometimes earlier, and I get a shock when he walks through the door!). Although it is frustrating waiting to eat and sitting on your own, I try to remember that it isn't much fun for him either (afterall he is at work, there is definately no time for after work drinks!).

He only gets to see our daughter for maybe 15 minutes in the morning (he leaves at 7am!) and that's it until the weekend. So we try to at least once a week go in for a lunch so he can see our daughter during the day, even if it's just for 30 minutes. I try to use my evening time waiting by having a nice bath, watching all the trashy TV he wouldn't like and phone my family/friends (plus eat some chocolate he doesn't know I have hidden in the fridge! ha!).

I don't think you're being a brat either as it is frustrating, thank goodness for weekends! (and all the public holidays HK has!).

 

[sorchului]

This is an interesting thread.

My husband comes home late too, about 8:30pm. I get frustrated with waiting for him and I do feel like a single mom sometimes. Well, I know that he is really working in the office and we cannot complain much under this economical crisis.

However he really makes an effort to spend time with our daughter. She goes to sleep at around 10pm so she usually stays with us for dinner, then after dinner my husband would play with her and put her to sleep.

I only work in the mornings and afternoons occasionally. The afternoons seem so long when waiting for my husband to come home. We have a full time helper to do the household chores and to take care of our baby. When I come home in the afternoon, I spend time with the baby and the helper does the housework and prepares dinner.

In order to improve the situation, shall we think of something to do together if possible while waiting for our husbands to come home? If we have a few mums like us and happen to live close enough, we can meet up with our babies.

 

[megan2008]

I think a lot of us feel like single moms at some point and I don't think you are being a "brat" by feeling that way. Also, the big thing I have noticed when becoming a new parent is that babies are a change of lifestyle and that is very hard to get used to for both mother and father. I think as long as you communicate and work together with your husband that eventually it will get easier and you both will find something that works. It is extremely frustrating in the meantime. It is hard for your husband to work all the time but it is also hard to be with a baby all the time; it can feel quite isolating. I try to go to playgroups and get out of the house at least once a day to keep my sanity :smile: Are you involved with any playgroups?

 

[0ze_Kid]

When in HK, DH comes home around 7-7.30pm half the time and later the rest. He works 6 days and starts work at 6am (so out of the house by 4.30-5am). I often felt like a single parent because of his work hours.

He used to complain that the travel was restricting the amount of time he spent at home and the HK work ethic was a big factor also.

Since he has been working in Australia he has had only 5 saturdays off (and they were public holidays, site closures or the like). And he is still only home at 6.50-7pm so it doesn't make a difference for me. Aus-HK!

 

[sea princess]

Hi
I don't think you're being a brat at all. It can be a VERY long day at home with a child and most mum's are so tired come 6pm, so waiting till 9pm for some company or dinner sounds hard work to me.
I had a similiar situation, but probably 8-8:30pm (not 9pm)when my child was under one. What worked for us as we had an early riser, is my husband would go to work 2 mornings a week very early so he could be home by 6:30pm in the evenings.
Also, with today's technology, can he do any afternoons from home once a week or even once a month? Sometimes it's just nice knowing there's someone else in the apartment don't you think?

 

[Nic]

This is SO topical for us right now too.

Our daughter is 15months and seriously thinking of baby no.2. I am a 'lucky' stay at home mum (no helper) at the moment and its a good job as my husband is rarely home before 8.30pm and has started traveling for whole weeks at a time.

I struggle to think how I would cope with 2 children and a husband thats never around, even if its only to off-load to at the end of the day.

I could go on and on, its so nice to vent this somewhere, I feel guilty complaining to DH as I know he is at work, not having fun, economic crisis etc etc but still aaaaahhhhhhh

 

[aussiegal]

You're not being a brat but unfortunately in HK its unlikely he will ever be able to come home earlier as it's just not the way things are done here. Most people don't start til 9 and then work late. In Oz lots of people start at 7 and finish at 6. So much better in my opinion. Here you have to stay til the boss leaves and if you come in early it doesn't mean anything, you certainly can't leave early.

My husband comes home between 7 and 8 each night. It's awful when you have so little time with them but it's really not their fault. Unless of course your husband is off drinking then it's a whole different thing!