What is wrong with people here?

[JoyousBaby]

First of all I'm not against with all the Hongkongers but just wanna voice out.
I just find that people around my area, Tung Chung are ridiculous. I'm with a baby pram and wanting to go into the mall, here 1 hand struggling to open the door and another maneuver the pram, this able bodied man will stand behind, watch and follow thru the door with me. Halo?!! A little help will be much appreciated!!! And I encountered many times, just find it so unbelievable.
For me I'm brought up in another way and this is a culture shock to me.
People that will help would be the domestic helpers, Caucasian! Gosh what the school taught this people??

Sorry just wanna vent and feel upset seeing silly n unhelpful people around.

 

[Honkyblues]

Yes, it's frustrating and annoying, isn't it? Occasionally, I find myself loudly saying, "You're very welcome!" to the person who has pushed past me as I struggle with a door while pushing a stroller, leading two other young children and being 6 months pregnant at the same time! I'm sure I'm wasting my sarcasm though!

A long time ago someone explained to me that Chinese culture is all about family and close personal relationships - so unless you fall into that category, you basically don't exist. Try not to take it personally. That's why you get bumped into on the street, have doors closed in your face, etc. I once fell over on my way to work in Central - fell out of my shoe on the downhill slope of the underpass from the old Star Ferry to Statue Square. I bashed my head and lay stunned and spread-eagled on the ground. And I kid you not, about 4 people just stepped over me and walked on before I managed to haul myself upright. No one stopped to help or ask if I was alright. Maybe they thought they were saving me from loss of face by just pretending it hadn't happened. Maybe they just didn't give a damn.

I've sort of accepted that that is the culture. We can't really change it from the outside. But it is definitely changing from the inside as more and more of the young Chinese are educated overseas and taking on some of the better 'Western' cultural mores and customs. The falling over incident happened in about 1998. I think if it happened to me again, this time someone would actually stop and help. Or at least I hope so!!!

 

[nicolejoy]

It is annoying, I know - but it is the culture. If you do need help, usually the only way to get it is by "targeting" one person in particular and saying "Excuse me, can you please help me with this door?" - people will not go out of their way to help - BUT if asked, they usually will help (if they don't, it makes them look bad).

Usually I try to be self-sufficient but if I really do need help, I try to ask...

 

[lesliefu]

Yes i see where you are coming from and it IS annoying! Mostly I find a way to be self sufficient cause it annoys my expectations are not met!

I wonder if it cultural or more about the educational background of the people...I say that because I get help a lot when I am in central, pacific place etc. But once I hit north point the help is not given. Might be wrong to generalize and say that people in north point are less well off, and less educated, but I have personally found a difference. Also, I think the younger generation has a problem in general with helping...which gives the rest if th HK people a bad reputation. Whatever it is though...just ask when you need someone to open a door for you, or help with a stroller and normally you will get the help you need.

 

[pixelelf]

i get that alot as well. no help with opening of doors, no hitting of "door open" button even though they see me struggling to come in with groceries, a baby in the sling and a toddler... i don't know how they can remain so... unresponsive. i am sure this is NOT asian culture. im asian and chinese (well singaporean) and back where im from, people DO respond. i wonder if they are germophobic though. afraid of touching any surface for fear of getting sick :/

all that but this really takes the cake. we are chinese, but my family look like filipina/indonesian/malay because we have darker skin and facial features and i am small built. our kids look like mini me. we are an english speaking family. in my 4 years here, ive come across random older strangers, who have scolded my 4 year old for speaking his jie jie's (helper's) language so well (they point and look at me blatantly) and being clueless about cantonese. my son doesn't know what he's been scolded with, but o gee, this sort of remarks are shocking. of course i went home, screamed at the poor hubby and promised myself to look tai tai! tai tai-ism, which of course did not happen... im still that mum, running all over the neighborhood, picking up the kids, going to the park, buying groceries, cleaning poop and spit

i've come around to not get angry and just speak up "i'm their mummy" look at them in the eye and smile. most people just get embarrassed and walk away.

 

[Liquorice]

I have to say that more often than not I actually find people quite helpful. I get the odd person who barges in front of me in a lift or doesn't hold a door open, but generally I have found people pretty helpful when I'm out and about with my son. Much, much more so than when I was pregnant. Then nobody would give me seat on the MTR, or they'd let a door close in my face, but when I have my baby with me I find a lot of people are pretty good.

 

[banane76]

It is cultural, but not all are rude. I do get an occasional Asian person that will hold the door open. I think it's just individual now and I just try not to expect anything anymore. It's so annoying, but if you let it bother you too much, it just gets way too stressful. My friend actually recently encountered on the bus 4 WESTERN women, who were well dressed in DB on the bus sitting in the priority seating and my friend who was carrying one baby and holding onto a toddler where they didn't get up or offer their seat. And, to top it off, my friend asked for a seat, but in response, one of the women said, isn't there a seat in the back? Sooooo, I just want to say that there are rude people in all countries and from all backgrounds!

 

[carang]

my son broke his foot earlier this week. he has a full cast from his toes up to his knee. yesterday, in sai kung, we stopped to look at the puppies with Sai Kung Stray Friends. 2 young caucasian girls, probably around 14-15 years old. pushed us out of their way so they could see the puppies....my son was in a wheelchair.

i don't think it is all cultural. i think it all depends on how you were raised. i tell you, if i EVER found out my kids behaved in such a manner, there would be hell to pay...

 

[marie313]

i think people here are getting better - certainly more people helped me during my second pregnancy than my first, or maybe i am just used to it now so don't expect as much?
I normally revert to 'push chair rage' and ram people in the back of the legs! I know it is childish, but it makes me feel better!

 

[Newbie_hk]

I can feel your frustration JoyousBaby. We could get into a big cultural debate & this has been discussed numerous times on Geoexpat. People have argued it's not about culture, it's about basic manners & decency.

When I first experienced that here, I would throw sarcastic remarks & give them dagger looks. But after more than a year here, what took me aback was that my husband told me that I was picking up these rude habits too! It happened when we were going out for a walk & I left him behind to open the door himself while struggling with the pram. I must admit that I got so frustrated opening doors for other people, waiting for people at the lift & saying good morning when people don't do the same. I got fed up and said to myself, to hell with this, I won't bother being nice at all. But as my husband rightly pointed out, we have a child who sees everything & as parents, we have to be conscious of what kind of example we show to them. I don't want to get all "Oprah-ish" but when I reverted back to opening doors & people say thank you, it certainly feels better than getting all worked up & annoyed at some rude random stranger.

So can you do anything about what people do to you? Probably not. But you can make sure that your child or yourself do not get caught up (like I did) and keep up the manners that you were brought up with.