Thanks everyone for the opinions...I am still going back to work everyday, leaving my son behind with her. So I am just thinking of waiting until May 20th, when I will start staying at home. I fear if I give her a notice now, she may take out the frustration on my son. Infact, today my son had a bump on his head when I visited home for lunch and she said she was in the bathroom for wee-wee at that time. She herself told me about this incident and its very upsetting. Though I would be unwilling to believe that she did this on purpose, can people be so bad to vent out anger on little children? probably not. So I am just keeping mum, giving her daily instructions as usual and observing her behavior. End of the month I will be in a better position to make a decision, and if she really shows improvement during these 2 weeks, I will give her another chance, else just let her go.
Urgent, helper not following instructions - suggestions please
- Thread starter pinki09
- Start date
Fire her. Her attiude is totally unacceptable. I have also told my helper she can buy her own stuff with the money i give her but she must show me the reciept and i will assess whether its acceptable to continue buying next time. If she is already ignoring instructions now as to how to look after your first child, it wil be worse when the newborn comes along and you will be even more stressed with 2 kids and a troublesome helper. So many helpers have finsihed contracts and can start almost straight away, so resolve the problems now.
Carang, you are right, even I am not willing to believe she is responsible for it, only that its very upsetting that all of these incidents are happening so closely spaced 
Even in my presence my son falls some times. Thats why I am giving her a benefit of doubt for once....if I see a repetition of unacceptable behavior, I wouldnt think twice second time around. An actual decision should follow one warning atleast...this time I have had a very serious face-off with her on Sat...she knows exactly what upset me. In any case since I still have to go back to work for two more weeks, I cannot take a decision now. I will give her two weeks. If she improves then well and good...if not, then no second chance.
Even in my presence my son falls some times. Thats why I am giving her a benefit of doubt for once....if I see a repetition of unacceptable behavior, I wouldnt think twice second time around. An actual decision should follow one warning atleast...this time I have had a very serious face-off with her on Sat...she knows exactly what upset me. In any case since I still have to go back to work for two more weeks, I cannot take a decision now. I will give her two weeks. If she improves then well and good...if not, then no second chance.I think it is a sensible suggestion to find another helper before your second baby comes along. From what you have said, it seems that you treat your helper both well and fairly. Your requests are also very reasonable. Based on my own experiences, the kind of behaviour that your helper has been exhibiting usually only comes after a helper has worked for many years in the same job and starts to feel a little restless and bored. Then again, none of my family's helpers (even one that has worked with us for nearly two decades) has ever behaved like yours has. If your helper has only worked with you for 8 months and she's already like that, find another employee.
I think it is a sensible suggestion to find another helper before your second baby comes along. From what you have said, it seems that you treat your helper both well and fairly. Your requests are also very reasonable. Based on my own experiences, the kind of behaviour that your helper has been exhibiting usually only comes after a helper has worked for many years in the same job and starts to feel a little restless and bored. Then again, none of my family's helpers (even one that has worked with us for nearly two decades) has ever behaved like yours has. If your helper has only worked with you for 8 months and she's already like that, she will probably only get worse with time.
wow, pinki09...you are a lot more patient than i would ever be! i have had problems with helpers in the past, but not nearly as bad as this. being occasionally rude can be dealt with, but constant correction and unacceptable habits shouldn't be tolerated. i would get on the hunt for a new helper ASAP!
start looking now - she doesn't have to know about it - just make sure not to give your home phone and interview somewhere else i.e. not at home - unless the helper is finishing up her contract, then she will have to go back to the philippines and the application procedure can last anywhere from 6-8weeks.
anyhow, act civil now - after all your son is under her care, perhaps more communication will work, i'm always explaining to my new helper why i want things done a certain way...they have a different way of seeing things and though i don't really need for them to understand why things should be done a certain way, i think it does help for them to understand - if you explain and still she gives you this attitude problem, them you know for sure that she has problems.
anyhow, act civil now - after all your son is under her care, perhaps more communication will work, i'm always explaining to my new helper why i want things done a certain way...they have a different way of seeing things and though i don't really need for them to understand why things should be done a certain way, i think it does help for them to understand - if you explain and still she gives you this attitude problem, them you know for sure that she has problems.
Yes, I think its better if I start looking now. Actually my current one is my first helper, and I thought it would be nice to let her be like a family member. I still say she is good in what she does, but isn't too happy following my instructions. For eg, when I tell her what my son should wear, sometimes she would say no maybe the other set is better. I sometimes listen to her as she may be correct, but it shouldn't be a habit of her to just cut my instruction every time. Like she makes my son sit in the high chair and give breakfast. I have told her not to keep on forcing him if he isnt v happy having it after a certain point....today she made him sit thru for 1 hr 15 mins, and he was so irritated and started throwing things around...I was getting ready for work, so I couldn''t stop her on time....so I again told that just leave it, dont exceed beyond 30-45 mins max., its better if he takes half his meals happily. She wasn't too happy to hear this again, but didn't say anything. I told her that if he hasn't taken his meal properly, give him the next one due (milk/fruit) little earlier, she disnt give a reply (neither yes, nor no). I think I really need to be home to monitor her. It is still a week at work for me, and this time gap is literally killing me, I am so impatient to be home, then I can take care of my son's meals myself. But I am not sure if that will solve the problem coz I want that rather than me taking back tasks from her, she does them my way, coz once the new baby arrives I would be even busier. Plus the helper is being paid to do the tasks the way the employer wants...even I do that at work. even in my notice period, I have never shrugged off any task, or made any face, its against professional ethics. I think I really should start looking, then it would be easier to decide...I am really at ransom at the moment!