unsalted butter and yelling husband

[solidstars]

my husband spent the last 10 minutes yelling at me about my putting unsalted butter into my 1yrs 2 mths old baby's pasta that I was cooking.

He says I'm poisoning my baby and that it's slow poison and his organs will fail.

He also adds that his mother has been displeased with the food I have been giving baby (porridge with carrot/peas/corn sometimes beef/chicken, shell pasta with carrot/peas/corn/cheese/ cheese snacks/baby biscuits). He says they prefer FRESH congee with FRESH ingredients as opposed to my frozen peas/carrot/corn and that his mother will probably eventually start saying something to me.

Sorry to vent, I just need your thoughts as opposed to listening to him yelling. I told him I'll ask online whether 'unsalted butter' is a problem considering all my baby recipe books have them. As I'm typing this my husband is still yelling at me over my shoulder.

I even showed him my books and he says it's because they are foreign babies and his is not.

Your thoughts would be most welcomed...

ps. My baby did not take up solids very well at 6 mths until just very recently. So I have been trying something new all the time until recently, one time I did perhaps lose my judgement and tried frozen dumplings (i saw somewhere online that a mom tried this and the baby loved it). Anyways that was when he was a week before 1 years old and he didn't like it anyways and did not eat it. My husband brought this up with our doctor and both the husband/doctor said cooked frozen dumplings are not good for babies and my husband has used this as ammunition ever since about me 'poisoning baby'. I already said sorry about the dumplings but I mentioned to him that he is also most welcomed to try to cook new stuff and feed baby, but he hasn't done it once, only his mother...

 

[carang]

first off, tell your husband that YOU have been doing a LOT of research and that there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG with a small amount of unsalted butter. there is also ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG with using frozen veg once in a while. YOUR CHILD WILL NOT DIE from a tiny amount of butter once per day for goodness sake!

as for congee.... YUCK!

tell your husband that your child is now over 1 year of age and is ABLE TO EAT EVERYTHING AN ADULT EATS, just in smaller quantities & pieces.

things such as:
pizza
hamburger
sandwiches
proper chinese food (not just congee)
salad
chicken
fish
etc

are ALL ok!

ps> children NEED a lot of fat in their diet! whole-fat milk, a little butter etc. they are NOT mini-adults yet and their dietary needs are different to adults(children need a lot of carbs & fat). their ability to eat, though is that of little adults.

 

[TheQuasimother]

Gosh!
:grouphug: to you.
I was fuming as I read your post.

Unless you're using organic sources from very reliable sources.
I'm not talking about cheaper alternatives from some local farms... I've seen organic vegetable farms in HK next to a freeway, car dump, electronic waste dump... etc. How can vegetables imported from China - found at the local markets be better than frozen vegetables??? It's been proven that frozen vegetables actually retain better nutrition than the ones we get at the market! (Not for all) Unsalted butter does not poison children! If anything it's margarine that i wouldn't use for kids.

We've used both local organic and imported organic... It just isn't the same! Even the frozen organic spinach/peas/corn tastes better than what I get at the market! We used to grow our own tomatoes, strawberries, eggplant... in our own backyard and are just not some wannabe holier than thou organic consumers!

Sometimes local mothers/mothers-in-law/husbands who make such crazy statements need to be ignored! Unless of course, he/mother in law is willing to foot the bill for reliable organic produce. I think both of them needs a little re-education and pointed to the realities of fresh produce from China/HK.

 

[carang]

forgot to say that both of my kids LOVE frozen dumplings! it's not like they eat them every meal, every day for goodness sake!

 

[Aava.Wong]

sorry that you're facing this situation with your hubby. if it makes him feel better, tell him that i add normal salt to my bub's food.:redface:

 

[carang]

i was just thinking... it sounds to me like your MIL is Chinese. i can TOTALLY and COMPLETELY sympathise with you.

my MIL is Chinese, too. i REALLY wish they would realise that their parenting days are over (or should deal with their CHILDREN) AND NOT THEIR GRANDCHILDREN!

YOU are the mother. YOU should be able to decide what/how/when you take care of/feed your child!!! IT'S NONE OF HER BUSINESS!!!

it's your husband's job to TALK to you, to BACK you & to HELP you...not to berate you over something his mother told him... sounds to me like he's the one that needs to grow up. (speaking from experience)

 

[TheQuasimother]

"... i REALLY wish they would realise that their parenting days are over (or should deal with their CHILDREN) AND NOT THEIR GRANDCHILDREN!"

Carang... That just cracked me up! Perfect statement though!

 

[plumtree]

You have my sympathies. Er, am I missing something, why should unsalted butter be a problem and surely using salted butter would be more of an issue (too much salt in the diet etc)? And what's the matter with frozen food: it's far better to use frozen than old fresh veggies or canned veggies (or no veggies at all!). There's no scientific/nutritional basis to those comments at all....feel so sorry for you. (and my babies are not/were not 'foreign' babies but they seem to have survived ok)

 

[FutureHKmom]

So sorry to hear this!!! On occasion, when I make Annabel Karmel recipes, I will use butter in the cooking for my son too! This was before he turned one year old....I don't think he had any problems with it. I think once *gasp* I might have put in salted butter as I didn't have any unsalted at home. My pediatrician has told us that we can start putting a little bit of salt into our son's food (now 14 months). Plus, we actually do let our son try the food we eat both at home and when we are out. Though when he eats at home, we still cook separate food for him where we don't really put salt - on occasion, I have put some salt in to see if it helps his eating.

 

[Sleuth]

Tell your husband to get a grip and quit being a mommy's boy. May your boy grow to over 6 feet tall and bench 300 pounds, but he won't do it eating congee all the time.
And don't worry about your MIL; she's also probably convinced her little boy shold have married somebody else. Somebody more like a local.
The statement about foreign babies being different from local babies in terms of what they can eat is pure ignorance and smacks of a few less pleasant things.
If he is so worried about the slow poisoning of your child through food, what is he doing to move you out of the air pollution?

PS. Our boys eat salted butter straight from the stick (not in massive amounts) and they are both well-above average height and well-below average weight.