To do list.

[carang]

giving birth:
after two c-sections, the first where the epidural didn't take properly and I COULD FEEL IT ALL!!! c-section was a nightmare. second one was done under general anesthesia and i was totally out of it for 24 hours. didn't see my baby for the first 24 hrs and as such had a MUCH harder time feeling bonded to her... it took me months of telling her how much i loved her before i truly believed it. my son was instant love.

although natural scares the beejeezus outta me, i think it is a far better choice. it IS natural to give birth. a woman's body is MADE FOR IT.... the human body is NOT made to be cut open and having baby extracted. i understand that there can be complications with both forms of childbirth, but c-sections are not the be all and end all of childbirth. EVERY WOMAN OUT THERE is terrified having her first. i don't know a single woman who isn't/hasn't been in your wife's shoes!

QMH:
although not luxurious by any stretch of the imagination, medically, they are one of the best hospitals in hk. for tips on making your stay more comfortable, do a search on here...there are lots of ideas of what you can do. i'm an old hand at it as i was hospitalised 13 times over 2 pregnancies.

diapers:
after two kids in disposables... i REALLY REALLY REALLY wished i had done cloth. my almost 3 yr old is STILL in diapers about 50% of the time... if you add up, over 3 years what you will spend on diapers, it think that cloth are TOTALLY worth it! even if you do cloth at home and disposables when going out. save big $$$ in the long run.

clothes:
for very good quality clothes, tung chung has some outlet stores. but honestly, babies grow SO FAST that, to me, it is utterly ridiculous to spend more than $50 on an outfit for a new born. my kids are mostly in market clothes, but we do have a few "nice" clothes for parties etc.

formula:
my first was 50-50 breastfed/formula fed until 6 months, then 100% formula. my second was 100% breastfed until 6 months. i would TOTALLY recommend breastfeeding if at all possible. if she has trouble with it, then there is no reason to feel guilty about bottle/formula feeding. formula is expensive, but welcome to having a child in hk... NOT cheap at all.

baby powder/sudocream:
i always used baby powder for my kids when they were babies. i got it from my mum. i only used diaper cream when my kids had a nappy rash. they are NOT some weird western medicinal thing.

powder merely ensures the skin is dry. cream acts as a barrier between the babies tender skin and sometimes acidic poop. my daughter developed diaper rashes VERY quickly... like if we didn't clean a poopy nappy within 5 minutes, she would have blisters forming! for her, diaper cream was an ESSENTIAL!

 

[Obiwan]

1) I did not have a C-Section, but with epidural, I experienced no pain at all, only 'pressure' which helped to indicate when it's the right time to push.

2) Not familiar with public system here to comment, but know that QMH is the one that is best equipped to handle complicated birth. Also that public hospitals are much cheaper than private hospitals.

3) Ask her to join us on Geobaby. It's an awesome website with many friendly, helpful and experienced moms/soon-to-be moms of all ages

4) We use Huggies for days and Pamper Swaddlers for nights. Both work great.

5) Formula prices. MUCH cheaper in the States (half price), but it'll be really heavy to bring enough over! We are on Enfamil which lasts 2 weeks (600ml a day), and costs about HKD231 a can.

6) Bought the basic essentials from Mothercare. Would advise not too buy too many until you know how big your baby is. They grow fast and you are also likely to receive many clothing items in your gift baskets

Lastly, think it's awesome to see an involved father on this forum )

 

[yonge]

1) I had a C-section for my first, born in Hong Kong and I delivered normally my second, born in Singapore. I had planned on delivering normally my first, but was told by my doctor in HK that I had to deliver by C-section because of my condition (IUGR or Inter-Uterine Growth Retardation). Aware of my condition, my doctor in Singapore elected to monitor me more regularly and when he felt it was no longer safe for me to wait, recommended that I be induced instead. I would like to think my doctor was being conservative, although I did find out that he had other patients delivering that same morning in the same hospital, so I think convenience does play a role. Relative to almost any other part in the world, doctors in Hong Kong seem to prefer to deliver via C-section. However, I would certainly not elect to have a C-section again. The pain and duration of the pain was significant and left me less mobile after birth than when I delivered naturally. I still have the scars after almost five years. Also, I think the experience traumatized me enough that I actually had trouble having sex for over 18 months after my first was born, whereas I was able to have sex again less than two months after my second.

2) I delivered my first at a private hospital (Canossa), but brought my first to QMH for his inguinal hernia operation at 10 weeks. I didn't have a very good experience at Canossa then as they were having massive renovations - as they are apparently doing again, so there was construction noise throughout my stay. It was also very expensive, but fortunately, my husband's company insurance covered the costs. I only became familiar with the public system after I became a mother, but was so impressed by the treatment from the staff that I made a decision to deliver at QMH if I were to ever have a baby in HK again. Everyone knows that QMH is the place to go to if there are any complications. Even if you make reservations at a private hospital, they will send you to QMH if they encounter something they can't handle. In my opinion, the premium you pay for slightly nicer furnishings in your room at a private hospital is excessive and certainly not a trade-off I would have knowingly made had I been familiar with the public system.

3) I'm a Chinese-American who speaks Mandarin. You and your wife can PM me if she has any questions. My parents live with me and they're fluent in written and spoken Mandarin. They're very progressive and hands-on grandparents!

4) We use Dispo's Baby Luv or Pet Pet for days (less than HK$1 a diaper) and Huggies Dry Comfort for nights.

5) Would really encourage your wife to try breastfeeding. I worked full-time and breastfed my first for 17 months. I'm no longer working and am still breastfeeding my 19-month old. I really wanted to do this because my husband had severe childhood eczema, which definitely affected his self-esteem as a child. Both my children do have sensitive skin, but much milder than what my husband had to deal with, so I'm grateful.

6) I got almost every article of clothing that I needed for the first three years just from baby shower gifts, but you can get basics really inexpensively in places like Wanchai market. I'm sure there are markets in other places, too. I also went to Mothercare for the long-sleeved footsies, which are great for the first 3-6 months.

Congratulations and it's great to see more dads on the forum!

 

[Boris]

Particular thanks to Yonge for the invite and will certainly contact in a while so Jenny can get everything clear. I am printing out translations as I go with Google translate - but nothing like the real thing.

For all saying good for a dad to be involved. At 55 I have a chance to redeem myself for past transgressions in " not being there ". My other son was born in 1981 and I was away A LOT in the Royal Navy until 1992, then building a business etc etc. It all went too fast and I missed too much which came back to bite me in the arse eventually. Not this time, no way, no how.

At 55 with my wife at 42 this is truly a gift from God and is said without prompting by all our friends. Even from Jenny's ex husband who has become a close family friend over the years. So much more civilized here than seems in the west where my ex everything is uncomfortably distant.

So I thank you all and will get Jenny involved as much as I can.

 

[LLL_Sarah]

If your wife is interested in breastfeeding, please contact La Leche League - Hong Kong, LLL-HK Home Page.

We have leaders who speak both Cantonese ad Mandarin. And also Chinese speaking meetings.

I'm attaching our current meeting notice.

Best wishes,
SARAH

 

[babymommy2]

My western opinion
1) c/s have greater risks than vaginal birth and I can not understand why anyone would choose to have one over vaginal births. They are meant for medical siutations, not just because you are fearful of pain. If you really want a painfree birth, then epidural would be the way to go. Early labor is when you are at home, this is the longest part of labor and the easiest part. The hardest part is the shortest part, you will be at the hospital by then and if you don't want to feel it the epidural is an option.

2) This I can't speak too.

3) The problem with reading articles, books, and talking to people in general, is that you are getting a lot of information from both sides. for and against letting your baby cry, circumscision, breastfeeding, toilet training, everything. Babies are trial and error, and you will learn what works best for your baby, which by the way, may not be at all what you do for your mext baby, becasue all babies are different. Stay away from any reading that delivers a solution that is right for every baby. For more serious things like feeding, car seat safety, sids prevention, I would stick to statement from large groups that look into all the research and develop best practise statements (like the WHO, canadian or american pediatric society, Health canada, the cnanaidan society of obsetricians and gynecologists (by the way non of those groups say that routine non medically needed c-sec are a good idea),possilbly the chinese governement does similar statements? I am canadian and know more of the resources here.

4) I used disposable because I am lazy, but lots of people do cloth and say its not that hard. If she is up for it , it will save you money, and probalby better for baby, there are a ton of internet sites devoted to cloth diapers, and the cloth diapers of today are not like the old kind you have to fold and use pins with. Cloth diapers have come a long way. Babypowder is really discouraged in the west because of the issue of babies breathing in talc. which is not safe. It is considered pretty old fashioned and not many use it anymore. It is really meant to use to keep skin dry, and I live in a dry climate so more people use lotion or oils than talc. I know HK is a lot different so maybe it is more common there with the humididty. Sudocream? To each their own, you will find your own preferred brand of zinc. The common thing is to use petroeum jelly when no rash, to use as a barrier,and then when there is a rash use a zinc cream.


a) Formula prices, why not breastfeed?

b) There are lots of baby stores all over hong kong. I dont' go looking, but run inot them whenever we visit

c) For diapers you will find a particular brand will fit your baby best. I liked huggies and hated pampers (because they are perfumed), but have used store brands as well.


Good Luck with your journy into parenthood!

 

[Boris]

@babymommy2

What you and others have said regarding 3) = reading, is so true for those of educated "normally". I try and try to have her understand that opinion is just that and if the article is well researched then at the very least it will have a reference index to back up the statement.

Jenny is a product of Mao and the 60's mainland system. You read, you write, you pass with what you write down from what you read. Questioning is not in her DNA ( but she has freckles, dimples and the cutest nose - so how can I get mad and force the point ! ).

Life in households where the educational point of view is not just 180 but 360 x XXX like an angry Taz in a Looney Tunes cartoon, is slow and steady, when it comes to explanations of what is and isn't cold hard fact!

 

[Seb's Dad]

hi boris and jenny

1) i have done it naturally and had a c-section and by far i preferred vaginal delivery. the recovery, pain and numbness of the c-section was awful.

2) with my second pregnancy i gave birth at the queen mary and only have positive things to say about the experience. they were fantastic. as cara says, they are not luxurious, but they are very knowledgeable. and the price is right. and the expertise is as well. if you fall under the queen mary catchement, you are in great hands.

3) the best resource is other parents. definitely join up here!

4) we used cloth nappies for our first. was easy. didn't regret that decision.

5) breastfeeding is wonderful if you can do it!

6) stanley, wanchai, the lanes in central, ladies market, lots of places to get great baby things. possibly don't buy too much...there will always be other newborns growing out of clothes that friends will hand down to you and you will likely get lots of gifts!

boris, congratulations on your second chance. i feel for you and your first born. any way you could write child #1 a letter and express your regret? you've obviously got a great way with words.

7)