Strangers taking photos of my child

[Newbie_hk]

How do you deal with strangers taking photos of your child without your permission?*

I just got back from Disneyland and was annoyed to find strangers (mostly without kids of their own) taking photos of my daughter without our permission. I have been warned about this by a friend but just because it happens doesn't mean it's right. I find it creepy & uncomfortable. I have told these people to delete the photo off their camera. C'mon, my daughter is not a Disney character

What's the best way to deal with this?*
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[jvn]

Probably don't go to Disneyland... or save up and go to Florida ;-)

Seriously, as a general rule I think it's down to a cultural difference and is not coming from a creepy place, I've seen tourists taking photos of fire hydrants, blank walls, road signs... why not a cute kid, especially if they're different to the kids you normally see (i.e. blonde). Having said that, people should ask and you should have the right to say no and that's definitely a bit hit and miss.

As a general rule if I see someone with a camera in his direction, I ask The Boy "do you want your photo taken" and if he says no, I say to them "sorry he doesn't want his photo taken" and walk away, if he doesn't mind then I don't. I don't want to teach him to be afraid or angry in this situation but I want to teach him that he has the right to say no and take himself out of the situation.

For me it's a balance, it happens ALL the time and I don't want to turn every 'fun' day out into a battle with photographers and have The Boy see me getting annoyed all the time but at the same time I never want him to feel scared or intimidated by it so I will assert myself if he is unhappy.

On a practical level, if your child is blonde a hat can help.

 

[Frenchy]

If you really don't like it, then don't go to Repulse Bay beach... it's a tourist spot and we've already ended, with some other mums, with 10 tourists around us taking pictures of our babies, and even taking them in their arms without asking ! Can't say how many times I got really furious with that and started to send them away.
Last time was yesterday at Lamma beach... two girls taking pictures from my daugther, 10 m from me. When I saw them, they then tried to make "fake" pictures of other things and would move at the last moment. I just moved to turn my back to them and hide my daugther.
It's really a cultural difference... when you look at the newspapers, and can see pictures of offenders, accidents, names etc... this would never happen in my country !
I think we have to get used to it, and put some limits when you feel uncomfortable.

 

[Shenzhennifer]

It's funny how often I hear certain behaviors explained Away as cultural differences.
I never let people take pictures of my boy. I always smile and tell them, "sorry, no pictures, please." I got furious at this crazy mainland women before for actually LEADING my son away (she didn't see me) in order to take a picture. I yelled at her and told her I would call the police next time I saw her trying to lead away my kid like that. She was a bit embarrassed, but not sufficiently so a few minutes later I went and gave her another bollacking as she still had her camera out. that's just me though, and perhaps it was a bit hot that day, or maybe that's just MY cultural difference.
This is just something do not allow. Having said that, I've never been to disney, ocean park or repulse bay. More reasons to stay away, I guess.

 

[TNT]

I am with jvn

 

[lesliefu]

yes that happens, to my daughter and her friend too, and we're CHINESE...this was repulse bay and ocean park...at least the indian ladies at ocean park asked for our permission and asked us to join in the photo - still kind of strange though i would say - the mainlanders just snapped and left - we told them in Chinese it was not welcome and to not disturb us, they then went to harass some other kid...i just stick close to my kids now - they don't normally want the parent in the picture too!

 

[carang]

since my first (now 6) could walk/say yes or no, i have always asked him. sometimes he says ok, sometimes he says no... usually he says no, but my daughter says ok...

it IS a cultural difference. it would NOT be acceptable in pretty much any western country, but it IS acceptable in most asian countries.... hence, cultural difference.

i, too, think it's a little creepy, but i try to remind myself that it isn't coming from a creepy place.

i also think that once a child is old enough to decide for themselves whether they want their photo taken or not, it should be their decision. it empowers the child, which i'm all for.

 

[rebekah]

I agree with the mothers who said to ask the kid. We've come to recognize it as a cultural difference, though we HAVE had some occasions where it crossed the line that we were comfortable with (when changing a diaper!! - or trying to hold my child, etc.) This weekend my husband took my daughter to Disney (just the two of them) and he said he forgot how many photos they take, but it is what it is...you can't stop every single person taking a photo, so as in everything, moderation is key. Pick your battles.

 

[thanka2]

Yep, cultural difference--especially if you're dealing with Mainlanders. If you really want to experience this go to a city or town that is out-of-the-way in Mainland China and experience a crowd flocking to follow you around (especially if you have, like other posters said, fair skin and hair). Yesterday, I was on the Star Ferry and the behavior of some of the Mainland tourists made me remark that they are both "ridiculous and hilarious." There is definitely a totally different definition of what is "private" and "public" in Mainland China and basically if you're out in public, you are public to them and just like the Disney characters you're there to be observed and well, to take pictures of. But, I've never noticed anyone taking photos of my child. Getting, too close to him, yes. It's pretty easy to deal with if they're little and can't speak up for themselves--you just tell the people to go away. I guess I would be the type to allow photos as long as my child consents to it when he's older--but only if the people taking the photo don't seem weird to me.

 

[Gracey]

But, as someone said above, Mainlanders just take photos of anyone and anything. I had one shove a camera into my face (and my dinner) while eating on a terrace near LKF. And I'm a Chinese adult!

When I was a little kid in America, my Hong Kong mom would be freaked out by random Americans coming to pinch the cheek or touch the head of the exotic little Asian girl. (They'd also sometimes try to give us money, since they presumed we were poor). But back then, it wasn't like everyone had digital cameras.