should i let her cry it out?
- Thread starter joannek
- Start date
Joanne,
I used to have a similar problem with my son, now 3 yrs 3 mths old.
He was ill every 6 weeks and worsen to more frequent "colds". He also seemed OK except having a runny nose. He used to wake up, before 1 yo, 7 to 8 times a night but NOT for feeds. Before 2.5 yo, he woke up 2 to 3 times, always at 12 midnight (like an alarm) and then somewhere between 2am to 4am.
Even as a baby, he seldom slept for 10 hrs TOTAL the whole day.
I found out the hard way that he was allergic to milk. That's why he was having "colds". It was actually his reaction to milk allergy. Because he was allergic to it, he was not digesting his milk properly and he woke up at night time. As he grew older, he had more solids and less milk, he woke up less frequent but still woke up at night.
We cut off all cow's milk and then started on a special diet recommended by the nutritionist to start healing his guts. Within 2 months, he slept for 8 hours and now, 7 months into his special diet and NO milk, he v v often sleeps for 10 hrs at night + 1 to 2 hrs afo naps.
You may wish to get his blood tested for any food allergies.
Rgds
e
I used to have a similar problem with my son, now 3 yrs 3 mths old.
He was ill every 6 weeks and worsen to more frequent "colds". He also seemed OK except having a runny nose. He used to wake up, before 1 yo, 7 to 8 times a night but NOT for feeds. Before 2.5 yo, he woke up 2 to 3 times, always at 12 midnight (like an alarm) and then somewhere between 2am to 4am.
Even as a baby, he seldom slept for 10 hrs TOTAL the whole day.
I found out the hard way that he was allergic to milk. That's why he was having "colds". It was actually his reaction to milk allergy. Because he was allergic to it, he was not digesting his milk properly and he woke up at night time. As he grew older, he had more solids and less milk, he woke up less frequent but still woke up at night.
We cut off all cow's milk and then started on a special diet recommended by the nutritionist to start healing his guts. Within 2 months, he slept for 8 hours and now, 7 months into his special diet and NO milk, he v v often sleeps for 10 hrs at night + 1 to 2 hrs afo naps.
You may wish to get his blood tested for any food allergies.
Rgds
e
carang
Registered User
my son is 21.5 months. he wakes up usually 1-2 times per night. he will drink an entire 9 oz bottle of milk throughout the night even though he eats relatively well and has another 9oz bottle before bed.
our problem is that he's been in a proper bed since he was 13 months old. he can get out of bed easily on his own and doesn't like sleeping on his own at night. he's fine during hte day. we've tried nightlights, a special toy, putting the milk nearby, going in and patting him to sleep... the only two things that work: we get into bed with him or bring him into bed with us.
i have a feeling that it's gotten worse in the past few months as our house has been a little crazy. had friends come for a week, so he slept in our room, then i went into hospital for 4 nights, then came home and two days later a single mum and her newborn babies came to stay for about a week, then they moved to a friend of mine's house, then two days later i was back in hospital for 5 days, then home for two, then back for 3 days.. the poor kid has no idea what the heck is going on or if i'll be here when he wakes up. i figure that eventually he'll just sleep throuhg on his own. once he feels more secure. i don't know many teenagers that still sleep with parents, so i know there must be an end in sight.
joannek, you're not alone!
our problem is that he's been in a proper bed since he was 13 months old. he can get out of bed easily on his own and doesn't like sleeping on his own at night. he's fine during hte day. we've tried nightlights, a special toy, putting the milk nearby, going in and patting him to sleep... the only two things that work: we get into bed with him or bring him into bed with us.
i have a feeling that it's gotten worse in the past few months as our house has been a little crazy. had friends come for a week, so he slept in our room, then i went into hospital for 4 nights, then came home and two days later a single mum and her newborn babies came to stay for about a week, then they moved to a friend of mine's house, then two days later i was back in hospital for 5 days, then home for two, then back for 3 days.. the poor kid has no idea what the heck is going on or if i'll be here when he wakes up. i figure that eventually he'll just sleep throuhg on his own. once he feels more secure. i don't know many teenagers that still sleep with parents, so i know there must be an end in sight.
joannek, you're not alone!
cemily,
one of the homeopaths that she's seen has already suggested that she might be allergic to cow's milk. so we switched her to organic goat's formula since july. we were in canada then, and she hasn't been sick for the 3 mths that we were away. once we got back to hk in sept, she started getting sick again late sept, then now. now her new homeopath suggests that i cut her goat's milk. i tried but she was crying (like really crying & not tantrum cry) when i mixed her bedtime feed with 1/2 soy (she's fine with soy milk if it's breakfast or at other meals). so what did your son drink when you didn't give her milk?
carang, same here. she was sleeping where and then they took off the aircon cos of the external wall replacement work they're doing on the whole bldg. that's when she woke up 7 times a night. but luckily after a month of that, we've finally managed to find the most comfortable way for her to sleep (2 fans to make sure there's enuf ventilation, a very strong air-purifier to screen the dust, 0.5 tog, long sleeve instead of short sleeve).
the good news is, last night she only woke up once for milk at midnight last night & slept thru 6.30am!!! i am so happy this morning.
one of the homeopaths that she's seen has already suggested that she might be allergic to cow's milk. so we switched her to organic goat's formula since july. we were in canada then, and she hasn't been sick for the 3 mths that we were away. once we got back to hk in sept, she started getting sick again late sept, then now. now her new homeopath suggests that i cut her goat's milk. i tried but she was crying (like really crying & not tantrum cry) when i mixed her bedtime feed with 1/2 soy (she's fine with soy milk if it's breakfast or at other meals). so what did your son drink when you didn't give her milk?
carang, same here. she was sleeping where and then they took off the aircon cos of the external wall replacement work they're doing on the whole bldg. that's when she woke up 7 times a night. but luckily after a month of that, we've finally managed to find the most comfortable way for her to sleep (2 fans to make sure there's enuf ventilation, a very strong air-purifier to screen the dust, 0.5 tog, long sleeve instead of short sleeve).
the good news is, last night she only woke up once for milk at midnight last night & slept thru 6.30am!!! i am so happy this morning.
carang
Registered User
feb 12... he was 3 weeks early...he was due on march 4...
next one is due march 3, but going to try to schedule a c-section on feb 13....
should never forget a birthday...
i'm trying to toilet train him now...he's doing really well with the wee...but he's scared to poo in the potty...everytime he wees though, he lets out a squeal for joy and yells "yeah!" with his hands up in the air...
any idea how i can get him to poo in the potty?
next one is due march 3, but going to try to schedule a c-section on feb 13....
should never forget a birthday...
i'm trying to toilet train him now...he's doing really well with the wee...but he's scared to poo in the potty...everytime he wees though, he lets out a squeal for joy and yells "yeah!" with his hands up in the air...
any idea how i can get him to poo in the potty?
i am also in the midst of TT-ing her. sometimes she'd poo, but only wees when we've managed a good timing (say dry diaper for 1 or 2 hrs).
i started off really early (as in first 3 months) whenever she poos, she'd have to go on "poo poo position". we held her legs separate as in she is sitting between our knees (adult regular sit position with open thighs). we waited til she's done, and ask "finish?". she obviously didn't respond then. then when she could sit on her own, when we see that she's pooing, we let her sit on the potty on the floor. then when she was older (maybe after one year), we let her sit on the adapter on the toilet. then she knows she needs to sit somewhere to poo. she doesn't resent the potty now, but sometime when we notice that she's pooing, if we ask her if she's poo-pooing, she'd said "no". probably cos she doesn't want to be disturbed. but sometimes, if we can catch her before she poos, she'd say yes to "you wanna sit on the potty?" or sometimes, if she wants to, she'll point at her bum & say "poo poo".
so i think it's getting him used to sitting on the potty when he's pooing (diaper & all). i think at this age sometimes they don't want to be bothered when they're poo-ing. i think the important thing to let them know that they should poo in the potty. whether they can really matters less. it's the concept.
i started off really early (as in first 3 months) whenever she poos, she'd have to go on "poo poo position". we held her legs separate as in she is sitting between our knees (adult regular sit position with open thighs). we waited til she's done, and ask "finish?". she obviously didn't respond then. then when she could sit on her own, when we see that she's pooing, we let her sit on the potty on the floor. then when she was older (maybe after one year), we let her sit on the adapter on the toilet. then she knows she needs to sit somewhere to poo. she doesn't resent the potty now, but sometime when we notice that she's pooing, if we ask her if she's poo-pooing, she'd said "no". probably cos she doesn't want to be disturbed. but sometimes, if we can catch her before she poos, she'd say yes to "you wanna sit on the potty?" or sometimes, if she wants to, she'll point at her bum & say "poo poo".
so i think it's getting him used to sitting on the potty when he's pooing (diaper & all). i think at this age sometimes they don't want to be bothered when they're poo-ing. i think the important thing to let them know that they should poo in the potty. whether they can really matters less. it's the concept.
You'll like the Elizabeth Pantley book an earlier poster recommended. It will provide you some more reassurance that your baby is not abnormal, as well as some practical suggestions for gradual change.
From my own experience, I found the older my daughter got, the more she understood. She has gone through phases of sleeping well and waking lots since about 16mo (now 3yo). During wakeful phases I talked to her a lot about how nighttime is for sleeping, there was no milk until morning, etc, and she gradually understood more. We had a book about Mr Lazy who was always falling asleep so I told her to do what Mr Lazy does (yawns, yawns again, then falls asleep), or suck her comfort object - other similar strategies might work for you. If she doesn't like co-sleeping, how about a mattress on the floor next to your bed?
We had at least a year of her mostly sleeping through the night, but now at 3yo she is starting to have some fear of the dark and imaginary scary things, so sometimes waking again - parenthood always throws up new challenges! But it's swings and roundabouts: at least she is starting to have some consideration for others such as Mummy needing sleep at night, and noticing what a grumpy cow Mummy is when she doesn't get enough sleep...
From my own experience, I found the older my daughter got, the more she understood. She has gone through phases of sleeping well and waking lots since about 16mo (now 3yo). During wakeful phases I talked to her a lot about how nighttime is for sleeping, there was no milk until morning, etc, and she gradually understood more. We had a book about Mr Lazy who was always falling asleep so I told her to do what Mr Lazy does (yawns, yawns again, then falls asleep), or suck her comfort object - other similar strategies might work for you. If she doesn't like co-sleeping, how about a mattress on the floor next to your bed?
We had at least a year of her mostly sleeping through the night, but now at 3yo she is starting to have some fear of the dark and imaginary scary things, so sometimes waking again - parenthood always throws up new challenges! But it's swings and roundabouts: at least she is starting to have some consideration for others such as Mummy needing sleep at night, and noticing what a grumpy cow Mummy is when she doesn't get enough sleep...
hi there,
just my thoughts on the whole controlled crying method - I was VERY anti-any sort of crying method to sleep train my now 22month old son. He was breastfed exclusively from birth till he was 12 months old and that didn't help matters as I was just nurse him until he fell asleep and for day naps he was bounced to sleep. He had no problems sleeping through the night but would constantly wail out (about 3-5 times a night) and require a soothing rub or pat before going back to sleep - the whole putting down to sleep process was becoming exhausting for all in the family. I tried all sorts of methods including sessions with a sleep therapist from Annerley and books like Elizabeth Pantley and they DIDNT work, he was even more distressed and I was even more exhausted and fustrated (and had completely wreaked an already weak back). Finally from sheer desperation, at about 17 months old I tried the controlled crying method - the first 2 days were hell BUT by the 4th sleep (ie day 2) he went into his cot without protest and by Day 4, he would say after his milk, "cottie now!".....since then he has slept better through the night (no calling out at all) and much happier and more settled in his personal space (he sleeps in his own room by himself) and we are of course better rested and able to function better as parents. While I don't go round telling everyone they should do the controlled crying method, one shouldn't feel guilty and a bad parent if you have exhausted all other options and have to resort to this one. Your bond with your child is NOT going to be affect NOR will he need therapy years later becos his mother let him cry it out!!!! Alot of mothers are wracked with guilt and suffer prolonged sleep deprivation and exhaustion for something they shouldn't...I recall thinking at that time why I didn't do it earlier!!!!!! While gentler methods might work for some parents and some kids, it doesn't work for everyone......
just my thoughts on the whole controlled crying method - I was VERY anti-any sort of crying method to sleep train my now 22month old son. He was breastfed exclusively from birth till he was 12 months old and that didn't help matters as I was just nurse him until he fell asleep and for day naps he was bounced to sleep. He had no problems sleeping through the night but would constantly wail out (about 3-5 times a night) and require a soothing rub or pat before going back to sleep - the whole putting down to sleep process was becoming exhausting for all in the family. I tried all sorts of methods including sessions with a sleep therapist from Annerley and books like Elizabeth Pantley and they DIDNT work, he was even more distressed and I was even more exhausted and fustrated (and had completely wreaked an already weak back). Finally from sheer desperation, at about 17 months old I tried the controlled crying method - the first 2 days were hell BUT by the 4th sleep (ie day 2) he went into his cot without protest and by Day 4, he would say after his milk, "cottie now!".....since then he has slept better through the night (no calling out at all) and much happier and more settled in his personal space (he sleeps in his own room by himself) and we are of course better rested and able to function better as parents. While I don't go round telling everyone they should do the controlled crying method, one shouldn't feel guilty and a bad parent if you have exhausted all other options and have to resort to this one. Your bond with your child is NOT going to be affect NOR will he need therapy years later becos his mother let him cry it out!!!! Alot of mothers are wracked with guilt and suffer prolonged sleep deprivation and exhaustion for something they shouldn't...I recall thinking at that time why I didn't do it earlier!!!!!! While gentler methods might work for some parents and some kids, it doesn't work for everyone......