Also I would hope that if someone has a due date set by an obstetrician, it is one that is within two weeks of being accurate. Generally if you have an early "dating" ultrasound (7-13 weeks) and know your period dates, and they roughly agree with each other (say within a week), you can be pretty sure that the accurate due date is within that week. However, if there was some mix up and, for instance, your accurate due date was actually 2 weeks earlier than you thought (so you thought you were 38 weeks but you are actually 36 weeks), sure you may end up with a premature baby which is not ideal and may end up with complications (as could any term baby) - but most babies born after 34 weeks these days usually do quite well and act as term babies anyway. However on the other hand, if your accurate due date was 2 weeks later than you thought (so you think you're 40 weeks but are actually 42 weeks), there is known to be a significant risk of placental insufficiency which rises exponentially after 42 weeks and this may end up in a stillbirth. This is why most inductions are planned at around 10 days overdue, to give you a couple of days to labour and have your baby before the risk starts increasing at 14 days overdue. Thanka2 you are very lucky that you did well at 43 weeks! If my only choice was to have bub premature (<37wks) or post dates (>42wks), I'd definitely go premmie! Sorry, probably diverting from the topic a little!
As for the mode of delivery, it needs to be individualised for every mum and can be quite a grey area - and it's all about weighing up the risks and benefits of vaginal birth versus caesarean. Every mum is different so it's a bit difficult to make a general comment on this one.
Sorry for writing so much! I'll stop now
One thing I'd like to just try to make clear again--I'm not saying that the doctors totally misjudge how long the baby has been in the womb because I do believe that the measurements used (ultrasound mostly) are a lot more accurate than they once were. So, I'm not saying that most womens' due dates are actually off. I am saying that every child is different so some may need 40 weeks and some may need more time to be fully ready to come out of the womb--before they are developed to the optimal point. Just because we say that the due date for babies is exactly 40 weeks doesn't mean all babies are completely ready to come out. In the same way, some babies may be fully developed and ready to be born at 38 weeks but I think it's better to leave it up to the baby to decide--healthier that way. Just a little sidenote, I believe much more in holistic medicine than I do in western medicine as with every health problem I've ever encountered, western methods did little if nothing (except drain my bank account) and I only found relief from more holistic treatments. Therefore, when it comes to childbirth, I just take everything the western doctors in the hospital say with a grain of salt. Like I said, I just come from a very different point of view than I think most of the women here do. That's not good or bad--it's just a difference and that's why it's very hard to not come off as if I'm from a different planet.
Oh, and also, I didn't go overdue to 43 weeks. (My mom was overdue by three weeks with me, though). My due date was November 28 (my husband's birthday, actually) and at 1 am on November 28, just naturally, I went into labor. I had also been employing a lot of natural labor induction methods from 38 weeks on because I was just ready for that baby to come out but he decided at 40 weeks exactly it was time.
I had steady, painful contractions at 5 minutes apart or less for the duration--the contractions never stopped or let up or got weaker. Labor progressed--slowly, painfully, slowly. My labor was really long--43 hours long. So, my son was born on the night of November 29 at 9:43 pm. I guess, the labor was then probably longer than 43 hours.
I don't believe in luck. I had to endure a lot to get to the point of actually birthing my son and I had nothing but back labor from the get-go. Anyone who has had back labor knows that it sucks. Initially when the baby was descending his head was turned to the side so that increased the pain (he was looking over his shoulder as he was coming down the birth canal).
As my labor was slower (I had already been in labor for over 24 hours at this point), one of the doctors came in at one point (a really young guy) and started trying to scare me into augmenting the labor with pitocin. These were his words and I quote, "You don't want to be like one of those women in sub-Saharan Africa that labor in the desert for days and then die in childbirth, do you?" We listened to his words and when he left, my husband and I almost burst into laughter (if I hadn't been in pain, I probably would have laughed). It was just ridiculous the scenario he was presenting and there was no stress or danger to the baby or me so there was no need to do anything except just go through labor. I'm glad I didn't choose to augment labor with pitocin and I'm glad I had a midwife who in her words "went to bat for me."
Part of the lip of my cervix was holding his head back so the midwife went in and literally ran her fingers around the cervix to allow his head to descend further--that was extremely painful. It took several contractions to do this and I just remember pleading with her, "Please take your hand out" but she just replied in her Texas drawl, "Oh, honey, I'm going to have to stick it in there again in just a couple of minutes so I'm just going to leave it in there."
I guess I just had the right type of midwife for me--at one point she literally looked at me and said, "Stop it. You're carrying on and you're wasting energy. You need all the energy you can save for later so you just calm yourself down and focus." I was kind of displeased at her at that moment but she knew what to say and do to help me get the job done. She knew what my commitment to myself and my baby was and she helped me stick to it even when I wanted to give up--she just firmly but gently reminded me of what I had said I wanted. She was the sweetest lady from Texas (I'm not from Texas, BTW) in all of my prenatal appointments but she was an absolute no-compromise coach when it came to the birth.
Anyway, that's part of my experience.
I also don't mean to come off as a b*tch--actually, I just come from a vastly different school of thought than most ladies here, I realize. It doesn't really do much good for me to share my opinion (in its full-strength) here because I've had a very different background, upbringing and experience altogether, I think. And, yes, I am opinionated and there are grounds to my opinion but it's really hard to explain here on this forum without really offending a lot of women.
So, I realize I'm not going to change your mind and you're not going to change mine and that's cool.
