recommending my helper

[honeybee]

When Mushi's recommendation says that her helper is 'excellent' with kids, I just can't help assuming that this helper who commented as 'excellent' with kids must be someone who shows affection to kids, willing to play or smile with them. Not someone who spent 8 months with kids and still fails to show any affection for kids or any kind of enthusiasm to work, to play with them or even to smile. Am I right??

 

[mushi]

thank you HK2008 and woodstock!!

 

[sorchului]

I can tell you from experience this is rather an issue that no one can affort to ignore. My helper for instance, as I previously so ardently put it, does the best quality of work at everything. However, coming from a broken family coupled with personality issue, she doesn't smile or talk much at all. In fact all people I know of was surprised after seeing her how I could possibly be happy with her...Because I know first hand how Mushi had felt: her entire outlook dampens my spirits...Imagine yourself getting up in the morning and greeting your helper with a smile but were greeted back with a stern look, like you owed her money or something...Don't forget if you are not working, you have to face your helper day in and day out. Actually I had to make it my job to talk her out of her personal issues/struggles/emotional ups and downs, (thank God she has nobody waiting for her to send her money to), by giving her sound and soothing advice, or helping her set up her personal goals etc to motivate her...I used to be very confident at handling all sorts of relationships, but I have to admit this employer-helper relationship is one of the toughest that I had to deal with...hence it gives me more perspective as to understand how on earth other ladies could feel reluctant to hire a helper even when they do need the help.

My 7-month continuous effort is finally paying off. My helper is ready to smile at me (only, not other people yet) a lot more. Of course she still does an excellent work, so I've absolutely no complaints otherwise.

HK2008: What you have done to your helper impresses me. I would like to know how did you talk her out of her personal problems and to motivate her etc.... My helper is a bit like yours (before), does not talk and smile much. However she does good work and takes care of everything at home very well. Thanks.