nicolejoy
Registered User
I agree with jvn - I can see partly where they are coming from. I know that my husband did feel very "helpless" throughout my pregnancies, through the antenatal classes and in delivery. I don't think that's uncommon at all - but the solution isn't "therefore they would feel better by not being involved at all" - we need to give our husbands something that they can actively do that will help. I know when I was in labour, my husband was freaking out a bit - although putting on a brave face - and I managed to convey to him that if he helped me by counting through my pushes, it'd really help. And so he had something small that he COULD do that really DID make a difference. I think that helped him to feel less powerless.
I do think that wives should also acknowledge their husbands insecurities about the whole process - because they are real (or maybe my hubby was just a bit more of a baby about it all) - but when we acknowledge it, we tell them that we're on the same side as them - and we can actually empower them to overcome it too
Because the solution is not to put more distance between men and pregnancy - the solution is to address their fears but then move on from it. But don't force them to cut the umbilical cord if they don't want to 
I do think that wives should also acknowledge their husbands insecurities about the whole process - because they are real (or maybe my hubby was just a bit more of a baby about it all) - but when we acknowledge it, we tell them that we're on the same side as them - and we can actually empower them to overcome it too
Because the solution is not to put more distance between men and pregnancy - the solution is to address their fears but then move on from it. But don't force them to cut the umbilical cord if they don't want to