Potty training - should I give up this time round ?

[nicolejoy]

Oh they're just the mini ones - not ones specifically for babies. My 2.5 year old just calls them "baby m&ms" because they are small. They still are extremely high in sugar and food colouring but I figure they are so small, and she's happy with me just giving her a couple of them - so to me it's no big deal

 

[thanka2]

When you all started potty training your kid, were they actually willing to sit on the potty? My son always says a big NO whenever I ask him and refuses to sit on it. Aside from that, he's displaying all the other signs of potty training readiness. Am I doomed with this big NO?

My son was willing but that's just because the grandparents had been putting him on a potty or toilette in one way or another since he was 3 months old (I have this silly photo of my mother-in-law helping him go on the potty when he was that old) so the toilette was no big deal to him.

However, one of my friend's youngest daughter HATED the toilette and would run away screaming if you tried to get her to sit on it. It took her mom probably at least a year to potty train her--she finally was potty trained around 3-years-old but her older brother and sister were potty trained maybe around 2-years-old and it only took a couple of weeks to get it done. Does he say "no" to both sitting on the toilette with a children's seat and the potty?

 

[thanka2]

@Biggie

What types of rewards do you use? My son loves gummy snacks so we found some made with juice and that's how we trained him to go pee in the toilette consistently. He got 5 gummy snacks every time he went. Now, he doesn't even ask for them anymore.

Training him to go poo in the toilette was so frustrating and finally one day my husband said to me, "I am so tired of him not pooing in the toilette that every time he goes, I am going to start giving him ice cream." So, that's what we did. And he started going poo in the toilette consistently almost immediately. He hasn't had a poo or pee accident in so many months now I can't remember which is so NICE!

So, you said you give rewards but it might be that you need to search for a bigger or better reward that really appeals to your son. With my son, it was ice cream because we rarely let him eat it so it was a BIG deal that every time he went he got ice cream (and we kinda "lie" a bit and call things like frozen juice snacks that have an ice-cream quality "ice cream"). Now, he doesn't even ask for ice cream but in the beginning he would be sitting on the toilette really concentrating on pooing and saying at the same time, "I'm gonna get ice cream!" Very cute.

Another note: While a lot of people recommend using stickers as rewards--stickers had no motivational value whatsoever for my son. He couldn't care less about stickers. So, I think it's really important to pick the right reward--especially if you've been training for a long time and it seems to be going nowhere (such was the case with my son and pooing in the toilette).

 

[Biggie]

Rewards...we have sticker chart which he likes. He always love picking out a "big car sticker". He also gets a candy (leftover from CNY....). He doesn't really care about food that much and he hates ice-cream (doesn't like cold food, nor hot food for that matter). He like cars but I figure I can't really give him a toy every time he pee or poo as there are already a lot of toy cars in the house.

btw, my boy says NO too when put on the toilet a lot of the times. We let him bring a toy to the toilet, or read a book on the toilet, which helps keep him there for a bit. I also try to count with him, sing song with him (when we count to 10, or when we turn the page, I'd ask him to push -- like birth coaching -- someone should make a career out of poo coaching).

 

[rani]

We also used a sticker chart and M&Ms. Made the most progress with Ms

 

[thanka2]

Rewards...we have sticker chart which he likes. He always love picking out a "big car sticker". He also gets a candy (leftover from CNY....). He doesn't really care about food that much and he hates ice-cream (doesn't like cold food, nor hot food for that matter). He like cars but I figure I can't really give him a toy every time he pee or poo as there are already a lot of toy cars in the house.

btw, my boy says NO too when put on the toilet a lot of the times. We let him bring a toy to the toilet, or read a book on the toilet, which helps keep him there for a bit. I also try to count with him, sing song with him (when we count to 10, or when we turn the page, I'd ask him to push -- like birth coaching -- someone should make a career out of poo coaching).

To me, it seems you're just a bit over-focused on keeping him on the toilette. In one of your earlier posts you said you made him sit there for 20 minutes. That is a LONG time for a little kid to sit. It's sort of like a time-out punishment to sit on the toilette--even if he's given toys to play with. I wouldn't be very happy to sit on the toilette if I had to sit there for so long as a little kid and I would probably say "No" too. Toilette seats, even the padded ones, aren't all that comfortable after awhile.

We had the problem of my son getting up off the toilette too quickly too (like within 2 minutes if he hadn't gone he didn't want to sit there anymore) and then immediately peeing or pooing himself afterward but as I said, with the right motivation this cleared up immediately.

Why can't you give him a car every time he goes? Go to the store, buy a bunch of cool but small matchbox cars that he would like and give him one EVERY TIME he goes. This might just be the key. It's like one of those "collect them all" competitions that cereal brands and other kids' foods use to get kids to buy their product which obviously has proven very successful. You'll never know until you try it and believe me, the investment will be worth it if it works and you can buy a small bucket to store all the toys in. Sometimes you really have to up the ante to get the results you want.

And my experience is that after awhile as the child gets used to going on the potty they don't even ask for a reward anymore. My son hasn't asked for a reward in at least 4-5 months but he not only tells us when he has to go to the potty--he goes in there and does it by himself with little assistance needed from us. This is a matter of maturity as he's getting older and more able--but in order to get him to that point we had to start with a reward that really inspired him--not just something he liked but something he would DO ANYTHING to get--even go poo on the toilette.

 

[Biggie]

Glad to report some progress. My boy wet his pants a bit, then run to the toilet, and finishes off there!

 

[Shenzhennifer]

Thanka2, I like the matchbox tcar idea. My boy loves them, and it would also satisfy my toy-buying interest
Nicole, I also like your idea. Am thinking of trying it too, now that I know your daughter also said no. The slight problem is that we are leaving here in less than 3 months, might be a bad time to start. But might take it little by little.

 

[z4nim]

It took me two week even with the no nappy wet floor approach...keep going. Make sure you tell him "not on the floor must wee wee in the potty / toilet" very time he has an accident. Keep going you're probably more than half way there...

 

[nicolejoy]

Jenn - I would just go for it. Three months is a long time for them when they are so little. He may be completely trained in that amount of time!! And if not, you can continue when you move, might be a bit of a bump in the road but shouldn't be TOO bad...