Need to vent! frustrated with husband
- Thread starter yuukalim0404
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yuukalim0404
Registered User
hahaha,I started this thread and boy am I glad I did! You ladies make me feel so much better and I am indeed not alone experiencing this.
Shen- my xmas, v day and my bday(just past recently) totally came and went. Well to give him some credit he did asked if I wanted anything on my bday...but be honset I was too busy with bb to care actually. To give him some justice, his bday came and went too with just a cake!!
Mothers day- angry wives day, that's a good one, hoping when our little one become bigger someone will remember then...ok gals we should remember to appreciate our own mummies too...
Shen- my xmas, v day and my bday(just past recently) totally came and went. Well to give him some credit he did asked if I wanted anything on my bday...but be honset I was too busy with bb to care actually. To give him some justice, his bday came and went too with just a cake!!
Mothers day- angry wives day, that's a good one, hoping when our little one become bigger someone will remember then...ok gals we should remember to appreciate our own mummies too...
Hi all, I'm glad someone has posted this thread for everyone to share about the frustration they have with their husbands. My husband grows up in a traditonal family and he thinks it's all a woman's job to take care of the family. What he wants is just quality time for himself but none for me. Both of us work full time, we have a maid, but the maid usually goes off to bed at 11 and then to her room, so it's usually Me who takes cares of our son after we finish work, what my husband do is just to sit in front of TV, lie on the sofa and sleep when it's time. He never thinks about whether I need a rest too or he should ever spend time reading or playing with his son. Since our baby's bed is in our room, what he does is sleep on the sofa instead of the room for fear of being disturbed, but for god's sake he never thinks about me, who is sleeping and taking care of the son alone at night........ Sometimes, when my son falls down after running, he is never the first one to run over and check on him, what he does is just to ask a simple question, is he ok? Sometimes, I just try to question whether he really loves us at all.
carang
Registered User
i must say that i feel the utmost sympathy for you ladies.
i guess i'm VERY VERY lucky with a husband. he has ALWAYS woken up with the kids, even now he doesn when it's necessary.
we are lucky though as his job is physically exhausting (he boards dogs in our home, so he is often up at 5am letting the dogs out, then walking and feeding them), but he is able to have breaks throughout the day when no one else is home. he can sleep, play onthe computer or watch tv.
i, on the other hand, have a job that is physically and mentally exhausting, but i always have to be "on". i teach baby playgroups, so it wouldn't do for me to fall asleep in the middle of class.
as such, my hubby wakes up more in the night than i do! he has always helped change diapers, prepare milk, or just help out.
i thank god everyday for such a great husband!
i guess i'm VERY VERY lucky with a husband. he has ALWAYS woken up with the kids, even now he doesn when it's necessary.
we are lucky though as his job is physically exhausting (he boards dogs in our home, so he is often up at 5am letting the dogs out, then walking and feeding them), but he is able to have breaks throughout the day when no one else is home. he can sleep, play onthe computer or watch tv.
i, on the other hand, have a job that is physically and mentally exhausting, but i always have to be "on". i teach baby playgroups, so it wouldn't do for me to fall asleep in the middle of class.
as such, my hubby wakes up more in the night than i do! he has always helped change diapers, prepare milk, or just help out.
i thank god everyday for such a great husband!
phoenixashburn
Registered User
me too me too!!! I was sharing the 'how helpful is hubby in taking care of the baby' thread with my DH just to get him to realize what women needed..and he just said 'see you aint alone' !! and then he went on to demonstrate the 'changing baby's poopy daiper in a bus' with our baby this weekend ..--failed miserably and said 'oh well, i did my best'..
So I've just given up..I dont work and am a full time mum of my 7 month old baby...and Yeah a helper is a great idea even if your mum-in-law says'but its such a small house' :haha:
So I've just given up..I dont work and am a full time mum of my 7 month old baby...and Yeah a helper is a great idea even if your mum-in-law says'but its such a small house' :haha:
My husband is as "helpful" as what most of you have described. We just have so much differences that we were on the verge of getting a divorce, but things are getting better now. Thanks to the marriage counsellor. SInce things have improved, I am eager to try for number two but seems that my husband is not ready yet.What is the best way you think to convince a man to have kids? Or is there not?
canadienne
Registered User
Could you get rid of your TV's? Say "I gave it away, because I felt like it was interfering with our marriage. I love you and I miss spending time together with you."
yeah...i feel sorry for myself too.
I can see that you are a very dedicated and stressful mom, plus you still need to work. Well, I wish I could work just that I can't find one.
Being a full time mommy isn't easy, it is a 19-hr (5 hours sleep) a day, and 365 days a year type of job. but I always believe in the fact that we as human beings are not afraid of physical fatique, no matter how tired we are, as long as we have the unconditional support and understanding from our family, we can still maintain a happy family.
BUt I am one of the unfortunate wives. Same as you, I have to do EVERYTHING, cleaning, going to the wet market, cooking, doing laundry, telling stories, playing with my son, bathing him, helping him to brush his teeth, tucking him in bed, and then washing the dishes, etc. and you know what the dear husband can be doing? He can sit there watch TV while I am working like hell. I just don't understand. How on earth a man can be that selfish?
You know, it is quite a common thing to say in a romantic drama that the deeply in love couple would like to be couples again in their next life. Hell no for me. Now I kind of understand why there are so many violent cases that the wife killed the husband or vice versa. But don't worry, I won't do that, I won't ruin my life and my son's life for that crappy type of man.
I wish I could have the financial ability to raise my son alone.
I can see that you are a very dedicated and stressful mom, plus you still need to work. Well, I wish I could work just that I can't find one.
Being a full time mommy isn't easy, it is a 19-hr (5 hours sleep) a day, and 365 days a year type of job. but I always believe in the fact that we as human beings are not afraid of physical fatique, no matter how tired we are, as long as we have the unconditional support and understanding from our family, we can still maintain a happy family.
BUt I am one of the unfortunate wives. Same as you, I have to do EVERYTHING, cleaning, going to the wet market, cooking, doing laundry, telling stories, playing with my son, bathing him, helping him to brush his teeth, tucking him in bed, and then washing the dishes, etc. and you know what the dear husband can be doing? He can sit there watch TV while I am working like hell. I just don't understand. How on earth a man can be that selfish?
You know, it is quite a common thing to say in a romantic drama that the deeply in love couple would like to be couples again in their next life. Hell no for me. Now I kind of understand why there are so many violent cases that the wife killed the husband or vice versa. But don't worry, I won't do that, I won't ruin my life and my son's life for that crappy type of man.
I wish I could have the financial ability to raise my son alone.
Hi Hunter, I moved from HK to Singapore over a year ago and have been seeing a marriage cousellor on and off here. But before I left HK, I went to one in Caritas at Caine Road. I have lost her contact but do a search online and you should be able to find.
I strongly recommend you to go see one, whether it works or not ultimately, you feel that you have no regret coz you truly have done something to salvage your marriage. And in fact, after a few sessions, or even just the first one, you realised and understand more about men.. their thinking and behaviour, which makes you look at them in a different perspective and hopefully appreciate them more. For me, understanding the differences between men and women were not difficult, the most difficult part is constantly being reminded the differences, thus not so easily to start a fight.
I am sure you feel better just after one or two sessions, cos then you have vented out all your frustrations and have listened by someone who can give you some concrete advice.
I know how it feels and I have been through rough patches for years too, somewhat similar to what you have described. I hope it works out well for you too. Just to get yourself prepared though, this process is going to take months and things will not get better just over night after the sessions. Be patient and hang in there, for the sake of our children.
Sth that I just searched on the website for you. Hope this helps.
The H.K. Catholic Marriage Advisory Council (Caine Road Office of the Project on Training Parish Volunteers in Conducting Pre-Marriage Course and NFP Diocesan Project) Family Service
Address: Room 502, Caritas House, 2-8, Caine Road, Hong Kong.
Tel: 2523-3128, 2523-3682
Fax: (852) 2523-3121
I strongly recommend you to go see one, whether it works or not ultimately, you feel that you have no regret coz you truly have done something to salvage your marriage. And in fact, after a few sessions, or even just the first one, you realised and understand more about men.. their thinking and behaviour, which makes you look at them in a different perspective and hopefully appreciate them more. For me, understanding the differences between men and women were not difficult, the most difficult part is constantly being reminded the differences, thus not so easily to start a fight.
I am sure you feel better just after one or two sessions, cos then you have vented out all your frustrations and have listened by someone who can give you some concrete advice.
I know how it feels and I have been through rough patches for years too, somewhat similar to what you have described. I hope it works out well for you too. Just to get yourself prepared though, this process is going to take months and things will not get better just over night after the sessions. Be patient and hang in there, for the sake of our children.
Sth that I just searched on the website for you. Hope this helps.
The H.K. Catholic Marriage Advisory Council (Caine Road Office of the Project on Training Parish Volunteers in Conducting Pre-Marriage Course and NFP Diocesan Project) Family Service
Address: Room 502, Caritas House, 2-8, Caine Road, Hong Kong.
Tel: 2523-3128, 2523-3682
Fax: (852) 2523-3121