Mother wants to move in to help with newborn
- Thread starter tnpatton
- Start date
Shenzhennifer
Registered User
My MIL came the day after I came home from the hospital and stayed for 2 weeks. I didn`t really want her too but I could not refuse, and was just hoping it would go well. It actually didn`t and has probably ruined our future relations.
I so much wanted to have a little nesting period with just my husband and my new son. However, one good thing was that I ended up having a c-section and my husband had to go back to work asap, and all that with trying to breastfeed (which also wasn`t so smooth), did make someone being there preparing meals and such a good help. It was just hard for other reasons.
Learning how to take care of your newborn is not such a big deal - there isn`t so much to do, really, and you will learn all about it in the hospital anyway. But if you plan on breastfeeding and also trying to get some rest, having someone around to prepare NUTRICIOUS meals and keep the house in order is nice. Especially if it`s your own mother, who depending on your relationship, I guess, won`t take it too personally if you are out of sorts or emotional or whatever(but MILs do
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It also depends on what kind of person your mom is - like how much she will interfere if at all, what she plans to do to help, that kind of thing.
I would just take into consideration the breastfeeding thing and getting good and regular food into you, as well as being able to take rests when the baby is sleeping. But go with your gut. This is your baby and your family.
I so much wanted to have a little nesting period with just my husband and my new son. However, one good thing was that I ended up having a c-section and my husband had to go back to work asap, and all that with trying to breastfeed (which also wasn`t so smooth), did make someone being there preparing meals and such a good help. It was just hard for other reasons.
Learning how to take care of your newborn is not such a big deal - there isn`t so much to do, really, and you will learn all about it in the hospital anyway. But if you plan on breastfeeding and also trying to get some rest, having someone around to prepare NUTRICIOUS meals and keep the house in order is nice. Especially if it`s your own mother, who depending on your relationship, I guess, won`t take it too personally if you are out of sorts or emotional or whatever(but MILs do
.It also depends on what kind of person your mom is - like how much she will interfere if at all, what she plans to do to help, that kind of thing.
I would just take into consideration the breastfeeding thing and getting good and regular food into you, as well as being able to take rests when the baby is sleeping. But go with your gut. This is your baby and your family.
I did not think I need that much help before the baby arrived. But knew after that there are quite a bit of work if you or your mother insists that to follow the Chinese practice for first month for the mother. Well, in where I live, it means cleaning youself with ginger water, drinking water make with dates instead of water, eating food prepare in certain way....(a long list).
So, in the first month, my helper was quite busy in the ketchen making these kind of special diet for me while my mother brings the ingredients every day "fresh" from the market. My mum does not live with us but she came everyday to bring the food but our helper is live-in.
My husband and I could not care less for this tradition, but I went along with my mum. So, I did get quite a lot of time learning the ropes of looking after a newborn.
Even if you are not going to do all is "required", in the case where you husband had to go back to work right away, having someone there to cook for you is good.
Good luck with your decision.
So, in the first month, my helper was quite busy in the ketchen making these kind of special diet for me while my mother brings the ingredients every day "fresh" from the market. My mum does not live with us but she came everyday to bring the food but our helper is live-in.
My husband and I could not care less for this tradition, but I went along with my mum. So, I did get quite a lot of time learning the ropes of looking after a newborn.
Even if you are not going to do all is "required", in the case where you husband had to go back to work right away, having someone there to cook for you is good.
Good luck with your decision.
Personally I think it was a great help having an extra pair of hands around when my mum came to help out. Also she often came to stay with us in the past for several weeks at a time, so we were quite accustomed to her living in, and that makes a huge difference.
We were also quite open to having her input - we would try things our way first and if that didn't work out, then she would suggest another way and we would try that out.
We were also quite open to having her input - we would try things our way first and if that didn't work out, then she would suggest another way and we would try that out.
I loved having my mom here as well specially since the baby had reflux and was crying all the time. It was wonderful to have someone to not just help out with the baby but also be your support. My mom can also be overbearing sometimes- but you can always figure out when to ignore things, when to let go and when to put your foot down.... mums should be fine when you tell them to back off. Now, mil's are a whole another story!