Missing the family...

F

fingerscrossed

Registered User
Just venting.....

I've been in HK for 15yrs now and when it comes to leaving my parents or them leaving me when they visit HK, I cry big time coz I still miss them a lot. I have a 2yr old now and its sad to see them say goodbye to him. I know it sounds insane but I just can't control it. I usually get over it within a few days but it drives me nuts.

Actually, I have a strong urge to go home and be with them as I feel that the love and care they give me is what I need right now. Sometimes, the pressures of HK and the occasional strain it can put on a relationship makes me want to just go back to basics. BTW, husband is too attached to this place to just pack up and go.

Dear oh dear....sigh
 
i understand COMPLETELY where you are coming from! i'm in exactly the same boat. been here 15 years, 2 kids now (3 &5) and i HATE that my kids don't really "know" their grandma.

in the summer, she is moving to vancouver, which should cut our travel time by almost 1/2 and also the cost....i'm SOOOOO looking forward to that!
 
I empathize too..... it is hard being away from support and friendly faces .... and family in general. I miss Sunday lunches!

I always cry when my mother catches her flight out of HK - I feel like such a baby - but it IS hard. It IS hard to let family into your life when then come over and it IS hard to let them out - when they go home.

I have learned to really enjoy my time when my mom/ family come across...... this is because - I have always felt so bad and guilty when they go home when we have had a disagreement etc...... I do bite my tongue sometimes and in the long run - it is so much better for me mentally - and it is usually about something trivial.... I always think - "when will I see them again?" - and that makes me sooo sad. WHo knows?

On the upside..... what DOES keep me sane is involving my family in my everyday life..... I take photos of bubs, new things around the home, the markets I go to - what I am cooking for tea - you name it - I love to take photos of MY LIFE and let them in....

Take care
 
I know what you mean! It's heaps hard being here and having family far away. I often get upset by it. Especially since money for us and my mum is scarce so we will probably see them once a year if we're lucky. I was hoping it would get easier but seeing as you have been here 15 years and are still feeling it then I guess it doesn't. Arrghh!!
 
Oh but yes on a positive note, I also take lots of pics and send them by email very often as well. Helps mum and dad feel up to date with baby's progress. :) Thank God for the internet!! I can't imagine how much harder this would be without skype and emails! Other people have it much harder. :(
 
After my mom came to visit here for 3 weeks in Jan, when she left I felt like she died. It was like I had the taste of the good life for a few weeks, and my son bonded with her immensely. I hate him not having any family here (plus it makes him EXTREMELY dependent on me and me only), and I hate my family not being able to witness him growing up and older. I`ve been out of Canada for the better part of 12 years now, but with a kid/family now, it is harder to be away (even though my husband is not Canadian).
We`re planning to move (back) to Canada after 2 years, though a lot of it is because of the kind of life we want to give our son and any future child.
It gets tedious after a while with all the skype/emailing pictures/blog, etc. Maintenance.
 
Thanks for the replies and its good to know I'm not the only 'sook' around here.:redface: Yes, Skype is wonderful! We log on a few times a week but after having them here for a few weeks and seeing them interact with my son and seeing him run to his grandparents is something else.

I still wonder when I can actually move back to Sydney and have a house with a lawn and backyard. At times like these, I reckon I can survive without a maid, haha.
 
fingerscrossed, I go through the same thing everytime I see my family once a year, and we've been in HK for 8 years. I start thinking about the emotional goodbyes even before I leave Hong Kong to go home, which drives me nuts and makes me feel so sad! My mom starts crying the week before we need to leave to come back to HK! My folks are getting older - 76 and 81 - and I always feel guilty about not living closer to them so they can get to know their grand children and vice versa. I didn't come to HK to spend the rest of my working life here, but feel we may be here for some time still.

Every time I bring up the subject of moving at least closer to home, my husband says "we'll see". I really miss the support of my family, too. For example, hubby is away with work for two nights this week and I'm home alone with a 2 year old and 5 month old... Would have really liked to have the option of visiting the folks for these 2 nights and sharing the grand kids with them!
 
Ladies, I empathise with each and every one of you. This thread really hit a chord with me as I feel exactly the same way.

Living in HK I have always missed my family back 'home' but now that we have a little one I miss them even more. Like you have all mentioned, it is the fact that my mum/in-laws are missing out on seeing our boy grow up that makes me the most upset. I almost cry when we do Skype calls and my MIL says things like, "oh he doesn't even remember us anymore" or my mum says things like, "I really want to be close to my grandson but feel I can't whilst you are in HK." Our baby is changing so much everyday that it cuts deeply that my mum/in-laws are missing out.

To the OP, I too cried for days both before and after my mum left HK at Christmas. The two of us were in tears at the Airport Express station. I had to do laps of IFC mall until the tears stopped just so I could then get in a taxi and be able to give coherent directions to the taxi driver!

Yes - Skype is brilliant. So too are cameras. We do emails, Skype calls, videos - all of these things and it does help to capture the moments and keep family updated on our baby's progress.

As for the house with the lawn and the backyard (isn't this the 'Great Australian dream?') I too wonder if we will ever have that. I did mention Sai Kung to hubby but he wasn't so keen!
 
Hi All,

I know how you all feel, we were away for 10 years all up, 8 in London and 2 in Hong Kong before we returned to Australia. We would of stayed away longer but I fell pregnant while we were in HK and was also made redundant just before our son was born. I think it was all the pregnancy hormones that made me want to come back home so we were returned when my son was 4 months old. We were also lucky that my husband could get a transfer with his work.

So we have been back nearly a year have bought a house with the backyard, our son gets to see his grandparents and all our family is happy, except me! I had a very good career in investment banking and now I'm struggling to find anything similar in Sydney, I really miss Hong Kong and London and feel I could of stayed away alot longer.

I guess I've struggled with the shock of returning home, its actually been a bit of a culture shock, and the challenges of being a parent. I would feel terribly guilty if we went back overseas as my son is the only grandchild on both sides. And its hard dealing with family again after having 10 years of more or less a phone/email relationship and seeing them every couple of years.

So we will give it another year or 2 and see what happens....
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

About this archive

This is an archive of over 20 years of GeoBaby and GeoSchools knowledge and discussions, kept online as a read-only reference.

Back
Top