Mealtime of a toddler - Need advice!!!

[carang]

my whole point is that running around after a child trying to get them to eat IS making a big deal of it.

all i'm saying is: put the child into the highchair and feed/give food. when they CHILD has decided they've had enough, then STOP. don't force them. don't run around after them. don't do silly dances to distract them. don't play with them. simply let them go. they've given you the signal that they're done, so LISTEN to it. HOWEVER, they DO need to learn that there is a time for meals and a time for playing. SO, if they are showing signs of hunger later on (around 3 hours later) THEN let them eat.

i don't see how that is making a big deal?

i've just come back from a dentist's appt. my son has always been a grazer, so i'm not new to the problems of feeding kids. due to genetics and my son's pre-disposition to grazing, he has 9 cavities. all in spite of the fact that he's brushed religiously since he was about 14 months old. a BIG part of the problem is that he grazes... his body is always producing the acid needed to break down the food and so his teeth never get a chance to "neutralise" the acid.

i really don't see how you interpretted what i said to mean "make a big deal of it"...as a matter of fact, i said explicitly the opposite!

" ...turn off the attention. let him go play, take the food away and do not make a big deal of it."

 

[Bumps]

Cara, think we are trying to explain similar advice, but in a different manner? I did not interpret what you said as 'make a big deal out of it'. I said "I personally don't make a big deal of meal time."

 

[carang]

ok, sorry...

 

[jvn]

Bumps, I think it might have been the reference to your MIL - being likened to one is usually interpreted as a negative thing ;-)

 

[carang]

gor, if anyone EVER said i'm like my MIL, i'd die...only problem? secretly, i know i AM! argh!

shhhhhh! don't tell anyone! it's a secret!

 

[lesliefu]

sounds like your baby is healthy and fine so I won't worry if he were to miss a meal or two here and there during the process of training him to sit down and eat rather than being chased around. it will take a lot of consistency on your part, but keep at it, it will work! my daughter ONLY eats sitting down - high chair, normal chair, stool whatever, as long as she is sitting down and not moving. once she moves she doesn't get any food - she knows...threw fits for the LONGEST time, but as long as everyone dealing with her is consistent and uses the same method, it will work! keep at it!

 

[OX Jess]

Thanks for all your advice and encouragement! I think I should, the very first thing, just RELAX!!!!
I understand a 14-month kiddo has very short attention span;
I understand he won't be starved by missing out one or two meals;
And I know he is healthy & energetic and I should be worry-free!

BUT, as a mom I still WISH my kid eat 3 healthy meals a day!!! I guess I am expecting too much of him at this stage, hahaha....

Well, the underlying cause of my "worry" is that my son refused all sort of "milk" since he's turned one. He was never a big fan of formula (changing brands of formula didn't help as he simply dislikes MILK!) Two months ago I started giving him fresh milk & soy milk but he is willing to take very little, I.e 10ml each time!!! But he can finish a bottle of 250ml of diluted orange juice in one go! On the back of my mind I always worry if a 1-year-old is in lack of some kind of nutrition by not taking any formula/milk. To replace milk, I ensure he has one cube of cheese and some yoghart down to his stomach every day and I hope he will get what he should have got from milk. It's sound all peculiar to me a baby dislikes milk???!!! None of my friends have experienced this with their child. Is my son a bit odd?

Anyway, I will do what Carang suggested for a week and see how it goes. What I did before, in order to make him sit in his high-chair I used all possible ways to get his attention, e.g. threw different toys/things on his table (all toys/things available at home have been used and he lately lost his interest in them all), dance&jump around to distract him from wanting to get down (I always felt like a clown that way). I am tired and that's why I lost a bit yesterday morning~~~~

RELAX RELAX RELAX. I must admit he does eat pretty well, he just doesn't want to sit still to finish a meal.

What he is fed on daily basis are:
Breakfast: a half bowl (sometime a whole bowl) of cereal/oatmeal mixed in fresh milk / a slice of bread+a cube of cheese / a slice of bread+a small jar of yoghurt
Lunch: half to one bowl of rice/pasta mixed with fish/chicken + vegetable. Sometmes go with an egg yoke
Tea/Snack: Fruit or cheese or some bread
Dinner: similar to lunch
If he eats small dinner, i will give him 30ml of milk or yoghurt (if he hasn't had one that day) before putting him to bed.

Take a look at what he eats a day I know I should relax... Thanks all mamas!

 

[carey]

Wow, looking at what your son is eating and comparing with my 14 month old, your bud is definitely eating a lot more solid than mine. Mine takes about 700ml of formula in 24 hours still though. I guess that is why I am not worried that he is not eating enough.

We all noticed that he is eating less solid at lunch and supper when he was around 13 month old. But I wasn't worried because I read that they will eat less at this age and if they do, just make sure that they get lot snacks in between. Many mothers have mentioned this in their reply. Like Cara say, toddlers are more of a grazer because they have a smaller stomach. I learn not to expect they eat three meals a day like we adults do. Knowing it helps me to relax about that fact that he is eating less although my helper (a Chinese lady) makes a big fuss about it. She would really try to get food in his mouth even though I told her many times that when he is done, he is.

We are also cautious about not running after him to feed. But sometimes we just have to bend that eating at the high chair rule. Other mothers suggested in another post to have a ?TV dinner? sometimes or a picnic in the living room. These have all work for us. But the key is he would have to sit still in the coach or at a spot in the living room when eating.

Many parents worry about their kids eating. I?ve seen so many Chinese families have helper chases their little ones in the play area live to feed them. One family even moved back to their old home because they think that their 2 year old is not eating well at the new home.

Good luck.

 

[FutureHKmom]

I used to be such a stress case about my son (who is almost 17 months old) not eating. But my husband kept telling me that he'll eat when he's hungry and I am starting to relax a bit more considering that he is a healthy and super active boy. He does weigh less than your boy - at one year old he was only around 22 pounds, but he's always been on the lighter side since birth so I'm not worried. When we feed him meals in his high chair, luckily he doesn't always complain to get out after a short while. But sometimes it does require all sorts of little toys and ultimately my iphone to get him to sit through a meal. Sometimes he eats a lot during a meal and sometimes he barely eat anything - but that only proves to me that he does eat when he is hungry. We have a rule in our house that we won't chase him around to feed him because we don't want to make that a habit for him or make him think that is acceptable. The only sort of exception that is made is sometimes, after he finishes (and by finishing sometimes it just means he's stopped eating and won't continue) and we start eating, if he is playing in the living room and then runs over to the dinner table to take a bite of what we are eating as he is curious, we will give it to him. So it's always him coming to us and never us going to him. We just think that would set such a bad precedent to let him know that he can just run around during dinner time and we will chase after him with the food.

 

[FutureHKmom]

PS: About babies disliking milk - my son dislikes fresh milk and will only drink soy milk if it has sugar in it. But he drinks formula....I have heard of plenty of babies who don't like formula - so it's not that odd to me that he doesn't like fresh milk or formula.