Lying Domestic Helpers

[HappyV]

Roshna,
Of course these women talk about us - but the conversations you describe sound like women talking anywhere - I do not think there is anything racial about it. i've heard some pretty offensive things coming out of co-workers' mouths - it's not just DH who make nasty personal remarks.

As for DH yelling at kids - we've all seen parents losing it with their kids. Yelling etc. Most DH I knwo are too scared of their emploeyers to even tell teh kid what to do - hence the little Empreror/Empress syndrome we all know about.

Just for the record, I do have a helper. She's fantastic, and I hope she's with us for as long as she wants to be away from her family. Shri, you can have her phone number if you like! I am aware that I am lucky to have her.

 

[lantau35]

HappyV...I think after your many, many posts to this thread we're all very clear on how great your helper is and how they or any other helpers you know have never told a lie. Thanks for sharing. Maybe there are some other threads you might want to take a look at now?

 

[ELT]

. . .if the lies are to save their ass because they didn't clean something or forgot stuff but cover up for it, you have to let it go. Most are just like that. But if it's big lies that affect your child's health - not telling you they forgot a dose of antibiotic..s or the kid banged his head or something - then have a word with her and explain that you need to know the truth because you need to be able to rectify the situation ASAP.

. . .and some love to cause trouble and tell the innocent hardworking ones how to go against their employers.

Roshna made some very objective comments. My husband grew up in Philippines and we have relatives and lots of friends in Manila. The posts we read in this forum about behaviors of some DHs are not much different from the stories you would hear in Philippines. These problems are very common. And Roshna is absolutely right about letting go the 'trivial' lies (it's is often a reflex triggered by their defense mechanism) and making sure they are truthful about the important things.

 

[angeilin]

I found out my helper was lying to me a few weeks after she joined me. Amongst other things she lied about following my baby's schedule which I gave her, using her mobile phone (saying she was on the phone to me and telling my husband later on that she was not on the phone). I had to change a helper because lying to me breaches my trust in her especially when she has to look after my son. Despite this happening, I do hear that there are some very good helpers around, one just needs to decide what is the deal breaker.

 

[PreggerC]

lying?

I would imagine most people with office jobs are not exactly honest when they quit to go to another firm for better jobs or better salary. Personally I do not hold it against dh for not telling the truth for not willing to sign another contract. it's their freedom.

but lying about other things is a different story. it's unacceptable.