fennho,
I'm really sorry to hear that you didn't get the service you were looking for at Dr. Tam's office.
I'm not defending him, I'm just sharing my experiences with him. In fact, I think it's prudent to have a couple of paeds you can trust in case of emergencies or need second opinions.
I'm a first time mom with a little girl too. My bub's almost nine months old now. I told myself that I'm going to breastfeed her for six months and then, she's on her own. It was a personal and informed decision. I know that breastmilk is best and I have the utmost respect for mothers who do it until their babies wean themselves naturally. I, obviously, do not have the tenacity, strength, courage or willpower to do this.
So when her fifth month came along, I decided that I should start weaning her off breastmilk by giving her a bottle of formula for her dream feed (she dropped her dream feed at 5.5 months and slept through the night, btw). I called Dr. Tam to inform him of this but to my surprise, he was adamant that I should continue to give her breastmilk exclusively until she was at least six months old. (I think I mentioned this before in another thread somewhere). In the end, because it took a while to wean her off at six months, she continued having breastmilk until she was 8 months old. He wasn't paying lip-service to me, no siree. In fact, he said that I should "persevere and continue" because it was "just a month more." But he did say that it was my decision ultimately although his advice was that that she should be exclusively breastfed till six months old. Of course, she was a much smaller babe than your girl. At 4 months, she was just around 6kg (in the 50 percentile). Maybe the doc thought that she needed more nutrition! Just hazarding a guess...
Different moms have different expecations. To me, the hallmark of a good paed is one who can correctly diagnose my baby's symptoms. And more importantly, I should be able to reach him/her in the dead of the night when the baby's temperature is 104.5 degrees! Dr. Tam may not be the paed you're looking for. I know that he's the type who would not bother to see you again in few days time if your baby is healthy and thriving, unless some major thing happened. He has never not answer any of my questions before. Have you tried calling him or emailing him with your questions? If he's in a hurry for another emergency or appointment, he would be able to take your questions at a later time through email or phone.
Btw, I've heard good things about Dr. Leo Chan but haven't seen him before and don't have his number. But a very good friend swears by him. Maybe you could give him a try? I don't know if he's pro-bf or otherwise. Perhaps you can call up LLL and ask if they can give some recommendations?
Good luck!