kid being bullied at school

[sandy0741]

Just want to ask what would you do if your son in kindergarten was bullied by a kid, today I called my son to ask how he was at school , he is in K2 now. The first thing he told me is that he was hit by his classmate and he cried. So I called his class teacher to ask about it and she told me the student who hit him was a new student and was a bit naughty. So I told her to change his seat so that he is not sitting with that student again.
Is it normal or did I overreact, I still feel a little bit uncomfortable about this incident. The class has 20 students and 2 teachers to look after them, so I am not sure what is still happening in the class and not comfortable if the teacher can really handle so many students.

 

[pixelelf]

i can totally understand how you feel. my son is 2.5 years old and is able to tell me about his day at school. just awhile ago, when he started to go off to playschool by himeslf, he would tell me, at night, events of how he was pushed around by other children/ knocked over. scrapped his knee/ swung around by bigger boys/ toys or food being snatched away from him. with each of these incidents, in the beginning, i checked with his teacher and they were true. i checked because i wanted to know if that was a fiction of his imagination or it was something real. anyway, it's real. and i pulled myself back from doing anything further.

instead after thinking about it, i told him it is wrong to push/ snatch or to hurt anybody to get what one wants. that it is also important for him to learn to tell the other kid, no thank you/ please wait your turn or ask the teacher for help if he doesnt know what to do. so far he hasnt come back with any feedback and is a happy trooper. i re checked with his teacher on his progress, and there is positive feedback.

the reason why i did not confront or instruct the teacher to do anything else, is because, i understand children do get naughty and fight. i think it is more important to teach children to stand up for themselves and be given a chance to sought it out amongst themselves, unless there is serious bodily harm or something that is recurrent from a particular person, which he honestly cannot handle.

this is just a personal take though. i hope all works out well for your little one. take care!

 

[Frenchy]

Same with my son, who has been bitten by the same kid, two times... first time the teacher just told me and said that they talked to the other kid, second time she wrote a note in the communication book of the kid's mum and called her about this problem. It never happened again.
It seems the teacher are aware and can see which kids are doing what, and are able to handle it. It's just the beginning of the year, so if anything should happen again and again I'm sure they will inform the parents. Also, as Pixelelf said, the kids easily talk about it, it might be different if they were older.
I think at this age many kids are adjusting, some know already that they shouldn't hit/bite/scratch etc... some others still have to learn.

 

[AmyH]

It's a tough situation to be in. I think that as long as you feel the school are dealing with it then I would just let them handle it for now but if you are not confident that they are doing anything then I would step in.

The only thing that would concern me is that you had to call the school to ask about it. If somebody had hit my child hard enough that he cried I think I would like to know and also if my son had hit another child I would definitely want to know about it. The teacher has told you that this child is being naughty - I wonder are they telling the child's parents?

 

[joyofliving]

I think the best way is to teach your child the following:
1) If another child hits/ bites/ snatches toys or food then tell him/ her "Stop it, don't do that". If the hitting/ biting continues then run towards the teacher/ nearest adult.
2) Go tell the teacher or nearest adult about what happened.
3) Come home and tell mummy about what happened.
4) Call the teacher periodically to check on the situation with this other child.

 

[sandy0741]

Thanks all for your reply, I told my son again that he did a very good job of telling me what happened in school and reminded him again to tell the teacher if it happens again, but he is a bit shy so I don't think he will be doing it. The teacher I called said she asked the kid to apologize but she didn't tell her parents about it, I will see if the situation improves and will call the teacher again to check.
I just hope he will have a happy school life and won't wake up and tell me he doesn't want to go to school, which he was doing for the first few days.

 

[jane01]

I don't think one incident means your son is being bullied. I don't have boys, but some do seem to be a bit rough and tumble. Probably not targeted at your son in particular, but part of usual small boy behaviour.

I think you did the right think by speaking to the teacher about it and it sounds like she has dealt with it appropriately.

I also think a ration of 1 teacher: 10 students in K2 is reasonable and it is the same in my daughter's class. I couldn't personally handle 10 pre-schoolers at once, but teachers have talents I don't.

 

[carang]

jane, you wrote almost exactly what i was going to write...

 

[sandy0741]

Hi everyone,

Again bullying, my son's class teacher called me today that my son was hit by his classmate (another one) and she handled it, which I think was fine, but the bad news was my son came home and didn't stop crying. He has even got a fever, is it normal? He keeps on telling his aunt he's scared, so what should be done, should I talk to his class teacher again and what should I say?

 

[carang]

if he's got a fever, then he's sick. you can't get a fever from being afraid of from being bullied.

sounds to me like your son needs some confidence. maybe try enrolling him in some martial arts classes, not to teach him how to fight but to teach him that he CAN stand up for himself if he needs to...

right now, it sounds to me as if he would have the same probelms no matter which school he goes to.