Issues with helper

[aussiegal]

I agree with Carang's points completely. You need to laugh off your child's falls or your child will become a cry baby! One of my eldest son's first words was 'See!' He would say it whenever he fell down because instead of making a big deal out of his falls I would always say, 'see, I told you you would fall etc'. He's now a tough, little chap, just as I want him to be for when he enters school and has to look after himself. Kids that cry for every little fall or scrape will have a harder time dealing with things when mum and dad aren't there to molly coddle them.

Re- the word sexy. That's a common complaint and one simply of misinterpretation of the word as others have pointed out. You can easily rectify this by telling her not to use the word.

The nosiness is not something I could deal with. Our helper is part of our family but that doesn't give her the right to ask inappropriate questions or do inappropriate things(like using your nail clippers- yuck!). I wouldn't ask my mother in law some of the questions she asks you and I don't go around reading other people's christmas cards or asking how much a pedicure cost.

Is this your helper's first contract? Maybe she doesn't know how to behave. If not, I'm not sure these last things are anything that can be dealt with through talking. If you're nosy you're nosy!

At the end of the day when it comes to deciding whether to terminate a helper or not the decision comes down to you. It is your house and you should be comfortable in it. What might be tolerable for some will not be tolerable for you.

 

[val23]

I actually do not agree with some viewpoints here. When somebody falls or gets hurt, I think laughing at it is very insensitive. I don't think I'd want my child to laugh at other people tripping or falling.

As for the other stuff, just tell her upfront what u want and what you don't want her to do.

 

[Neha]

kids falling and u laughing is no big deal we do it our kid as we dont want him to dwell on the fact for too long. get him distracted.

Other stuff it is better u talk to her and clarify

 

[aussiegal]

Val I'd say it's all a question of how bad the fall is. Of course if the child is really hurt it is not right to laugh but parents who turn every little fall into a drama are setting their children up for a life of attention seeking neediness.

 

[val23]

Aussiegal, there is a distinction between drama and just a little "are you ok?"/ "be careful next time". I think if we see a fellow fall in public, I think laughing at him/her would be inappropriate wont you say? Thus I always tell my kids not to laugh at others whether it is a big deal or not. I see some people (not kids) laugh at other's misadventures and I think this is just bad taste. If you agree with me on this, then don't you think it's good to instill proper training while they are still young?

 

[carang]

there is a difference, val, between a giant belly laugh and a...
"oh, ho ho... up you get...dust off your hands... you're ok!"

 

[hkaussie]

Yes, it doesn't have to be either laugh AT the child, or coddle them. We usually say 'oh dear, up you get' or 'whoops, that was funny' or something like that, as Cara also says.

 

[putput]

Thank you to those of you for your non-judgemental feedback, and no thanks to the judgemental feedback. I let off steam with quite a long rant and of that rant, some have got caught up on the 3 words 'my daughter slips' and feel the need to tell me how I should respond as opposed to my issue with how my helper responds to this and other situations. With regards to the word 'sexy', it helps to know that this is simply a misunderstanding in terms of what the word means so thank you for advising. I have told her I find the word inappropriate but she forgets and repeats. She has already upset my guests by calling their 2 year old daughter sexy. I appreciate the responses and now realise I am not being sensitive after all. Thanks all.

 

[carang]

putput, it actually sounds as if you are more than a little sensitive about more than your helper.

not one person wrote anything at all judgemental. we all wrote our opinions, as YOU requested. if you are only looking for opinions that echo your own, then a public forum is not necessarily the right place.

i'm very sorry that you took offence to anything that anyone said, i'm sure that it was not meant to cause any.

 

[aussiegal]

Carang, a quite ironic thread in the end! Pls give me advice but only advice I want to hear. Isn't that what husbands are for

And Val, you are completely overreacting. No one said anything that suggests we have a massive belly laugh when our children or anyone else falls over. I find it hard to believe you would think any reasonable parent would ever do such a thing and openly admit it on a forum.

'Laughing it off' is something quite different. It is healthy to raise strong tots able to realise when they are not actually hurt as opposed to cry babies who go to tears for the tiniest of accidents.