Is force & tears in toothbrushing better than decay?
- Thread starter Liquorice
- Start date
From working with children that sometimes by the age of 2 or 3 years-old have BLACK teeth because their parents don't want the stress of making them brush I say brush his teeth no matter what. It's kind of like giving a child medicine when they really need it--if you have to sit on them to get the medicine in them you have to do it. Eventually he'll get the idea that no matter what he does teeth brushing is not optional. Be consistent. Personally, I'd rather fight the battle now while he's still small (14 months is still somewhat of a baby) than wait and have to keep fighting it until he's in primary school. I think you'll just have to accept that he doesn't like teeth brushing and he's putting up a fight but do it anyway--and do it often. If he knows it's going to happen twice a day and you carry through with it no matter what, I think you'll end up teaching him that this is just how things go.
Last edited:
nicolejoy
Registered User
My daughter also has resisted teeth brushing, but we did force it - and now at 3, she doesn't only accept it, but she somewhat enjoys it. We too brush her teeth in the bath as someone else mentioned. She went through a phase when she would ONLY like a particular brand of toothpaste but now she is good with different brands as well. She is now almost independent in her brushing (if she is paying attention rather than being silly). She has some minor staining on her teeth from when we were less consistent with it when she was younger and for me, that was the kick in the butt that I needed to make sure that it doesn't become anything more serious! Staining is a minor issue, but cavities are a major and often expensive issue. Be consistent when they are young and when they're older it won't be as big an issue.
Hi there
I also had a lot of trouble with my daughter at about the same age and I tried lots of things until it started to work:
1) ask her to bring a toy along who also needs his teeth brushed and do his first so she/he knows what is coming
2) count to 5 as you brush so even if they are crying they know it wont last forever
3) for the times where they are being really resistant I would take her into the bedroom and sit on her to do her teeth - obviously not hurting her but showing her that she will get her teeth brushed the easy way.. or the hard way. If they are crying it's actually easier to brush their teeth cos their mouth is open
4) Give a sticker when it's all done and finished
5) Do your teeth at the same time/before they do theirs
6) Talk about the food that you can see in their mouth that you need to clean... ooh look I can see the carrots you had for dinner, let's say bye bye carrots etc
7) Talk about making lots of bubbles in their mouth - all babies love bubbles!
8) If he/she is insistent about doing it themselves, they can do it after you have cleaned them first.. 'my turn/your turn' type thing.
Good luck and dont worry - if you perservere you'll get there. My daughter is very happy to do her teeth now and actually does quite a good job of brushing them herself too.
I also had a lot of trouble with my daughter at about the same age and I tried lots of things until it started to work:
1) ask her to bring a toy along who also needs his teeth brushed and do his first so she/he knows what is coming
2) count to 5 as you brush so even if they are crying they know it wont last forever
3) for the times where they are being really resistant I would take her into the bedroom and sit on her to do her teeth - obviously not hurting her but showing her that she will get her teeth brushed the easy way.. or the hard way. If they are crying it's actually easier to brush their teeth cos their mouth is open
4) Give a sticker when it's all done and finished
5) Do your teeth at the same time/before they do theirs
6) Talk about the food that you can see in their mouth that you need to clean... ooh look I can see the carrots you had for dinner, let's say bye bye carrots etc
7) Talk about making lots of bubbles in their mouth - all babies love bubbles!
8) If he/she is insistent about doing it themselves, they can do it after you have cleaned them first.. 'my turn/your turn' type thing.
Good luck and dont worry - if you perservere you'll get there. My daughter is very happy to do her teeth now and actually does quite a good job of brushing them herself too.
I had the same struggle with my son around that age. I found that a trick worked only a few times, so here are a few different tricks that worked at different times:
1. He brushed my teeth first, and i brushed his.
2. Brushing in front of a mirror together and making funny faces as we brushed.
3. Brushing with him on my lap and me smiling and snuggling, to associate brushing with snuggles and other happy feelings
4. Watching a video about a boy who didn't brush his teeth and these "bad guys" came in with power tools and drilled the boys teeth and made him cry (it sounds traumatic, but it is a short song with a happy tune). Then we discussed all the bad guys in his teeth and what we needed to do to get them out of his mouth before they started drilling him (again, its all about tone...we tried to be playful with it)
5. Now (he's 6) I have him hum a long song while he brushes to make sure he brushes enough. usually we brush together and make silly faces to keep it fun, but sometimes he will brush by himself now.
6. We changed the tooth brushing to a different time for a while. When he was 2 and a half, he was resisting tooth brushing because he associated it with bedtime, and it was the bedtime he was resisting, more than the brushing. So we did it earlier in the evening and told him resistance meant he had less play time.
making it about a power struggle might be all part of the "fun" for your child. Force brushing will make it worse because he will put up a fight every night and just get bigger, stronger, and better at fighting you off.
1. He brushed my teeth first, and i brushed his.
2. Brushing in front of a mirror together and making funny faces as we brushed.
3. Brushing with him on my lap and me smiling and snuggling, to associate brushing with snuggles and other happy feelings
4. Watching a video about a boy who didn't brush his teeth and these "bad guys" came in with power tools and drilled the boys teeth and made him cry (it sounds traumatic, but it is a short song with a happy tune). Then we discussed all the bad guys in his teeth and what we needed to do to get them out of his mouth before they started drilling him (again, its all about tone...we tried to be playful with it)
5. Now (he's 6) I have him hum a long song while he brushes to make sure he brushes enough. usually we brush together and make silly faces to keep it fun, but sometimes he will brush by himself now.
6. We changed the tooth brushing to a different time for a while. When he was 2 and a half, he was resisting tooth brushing because he associated it with bedtime, and it was the bedtime he was resisting, more than the brushing. So we did it earlier in the evening and told him resistance meant he had less play time.
making it about a power struggle might be all part of the "fun" for your child. Force brushing will make it worse because he will put up a fight every night and just get bigger, stronger, and better at fighting you off.