I don't understand why......

[Konradsmom]

my 14 month old boy simply will not sit down at the dining table when we eat out.

Basically, the moment we sit down, he would start to protest and cry and try to get out of his seat - and I don't see anything that could upset him. We tried to distract him with books and toys, and that would only be effective for a short while. Then the adults would have to take turn to take him outside the restaurant and its almost impossible for us to have a proper meal outside....

Do any other moms have any similar experiences? Any advice????

(btw, my toddler is not very good with strangers, even his grandparents who comes and see him frequently gets treated with cold shoulders , esp if they have been away for a bit of time.....don't know if this is relevant....)

 

[Neha]

well our son is 2 years old and he still sits very rarely. Forget dining table just rarely sits. Like u we used to fret a lot but over the time we accepted it and now since about 2 weeks he actually asks us to put him in his highchair. So give it some time. our son started walking at about 14 months so he was so happy to be free on his 2 feet that he would just run all the time. We also use TV sometime as distraction for 5-15 minutes till he got used to idea of sitting for a bit.

My advice to u will be give it some time. he will come around.

Being with strangers cant help u much as my son is overly friendly and we have the opposite worry that he goes to everyone. But for grandparents i think when they com they can bring him a small toy or something so we can feel happy and they can play with him.

Best of luck

 

[LittleMi]

My daughter is exactly the same and she is 21 months!
She is slightly better nowadays but still cannot sit still at a restaurant for the entire sitting. She is an overly active child and has short attention span so I guess that doesn't help.

But also I think it is a habit thing...when she was a baby and made the slightly noise we would take turns to take her outside the restaurant but now it is hard to break the habit without causing a big scene in public.

It is also a controlling thing, for example at mealtimes I can just about to feed her the entire meal sitting down in her chair at home...BUT if we are round at my mum's and she is feeding her, then my daughter will not sit still and my mum has to hold her and basically do all sorts of circus acts to entertain her whilst feeding her!! ( I have asked her not to do it but she doesn't listen..) My daughter KNOWS what she can get away with with different people.

So unfortunately I don't have any good tips but just to let you know you are not alone and if you find a idea to break the habit, please let me know!

 

[noc]

We are still figuring it out, but we usually give lots of finger food to play with - especially interesting ones, like spaghetti. We also bring paper and crayons to draw, bells, toys, etc. that we only use for meal time. Since he will last 30-60 minutes, we put him in just as the food arrives, so we can eat our food while it is hot. If we bring him out, he will totally refuse to come back in too!

 

[sherwes]

My 12 month old boy is similar. The only time he will sit down is either to eat (if he is genuinely hungry) or if he is sick. In fact, we know when he is feeling under the weather because he will actually consent to sit on my lap for more than 15 seconds!

When we take our son our to restaurants we make sure he is hungry (i.e. we go at his mealtime. We don't starve him prior to going out!) and feed him while we eat. This means that he will sit still while eating for 25 minutes! We also bring lots of toys...but you mentioned that you already tried that trick.

 

[aussiegal]

Just don't take him to restaurants. Seriously. Our almost 3 year old is only now at the point where we can take him to restaurants. Before that he was such a nightmare it made dining out a terrible ordeal. We gave up when a friend said that one day it would just become fun and to not bother until you got a sense that day had come. I have to agree with her. Why stress about something that is unlikey to become a long term problem? A 2 year old simply can't understand why we would even expect them to stay seated and quiet and I don't blame them.

Now if a 5 or 6 year old behaved like that I would worry!

 

[mel_g20]

Hi, I have to agree with Aussiegal, any child that can sit in a restaurant before 3 years old is the exception... that is just the way it is I'm afraid.

We find places where they can run around, or we dont go. Sometimes we sit outside on the front in Stanley on a Sunday when the road is closed, and my 2 year old daughter can run around - but its a very quick affair, no chance to kick back and relax. Wildfire also has a small (although abit tatty) play area where the kids can entertain themselves.

Now if I took my 3 year old only, it would actually be enjoyable. Wont be long before they are big enough.

 

[Query]

I have exactly the same problem with my 17 month old. Even if we waited until we went out to feed her her meals, she would only take a couple of mouthfuls before standing up in her highchair, wiggling and screaming to get out and play. We tried to distract her with toys, crayons, even a portable DVD playing her fave Barney video but to no avail.......sigh! When my husband and I go out for meals, one of us is always out to play with my daughter whilst the other hurriedly finishes the meal in order to take over with my daughter. It's such a pain in the neck. My parents in law think my daughter is unruly and we are not disciplining her enough. I envy those parents I see in restaurants with kids who sit and eat their meals without a fuss and with their bums on their seats!

 

[aussiegal]

Query, I wouldn't worry about what other people think, especially grandparents who have long forgotten about how unruly children can be. My mother in law remembers only the good in her two sons. The way she talks they ate everything they were given, shared their toys and never had a tantrum. Yeah right :haha:

Personally I always wonder what's wrong with a 2 year old that sits quietly while its parents eat their lunch?! Horses for courses.

 

[capital]

I agree it is the age. Our stategy is to let our 2 year old sit on my lap until the food comes and then he has to sit in his own chair. Also helps if he is really hungry. Now at 2 1/2 is it much easier.
there were a few times when we have had to leave the restaurant altogether and go home, and for awhile, especially when he was one, going out to eat was just so painful and unenjoyable we hardly went out. The hardest thing thought, is when you have the problem of grandparents. My father in law doesn't understand why we would not want to sit in fromt of a dim sum restaurant on the weekend waiting for a table forever and then sit and have a long and leisurrly meal with and 2 and 4 year old. It is especially hard on trips because we end up eating out a lot for a few weeks and the noveltly definatly wears offs and they can't understand why our children are not perfectly behaved for 3 weeks staight while going through jet lag, total distruption in routine, have hardly any toys, and being in public/sight seeing/shoppping for days on end!