How Long To Adjust to Having A DH? Is It For Me?

[sea princess]

thanks

Hi
Thanks so much everyone for your reassuring responses.
Sherwes
I think she hangs around the house and not in her room as she is not busy enough and is bored and gets restless? I have told her once her cleaning & ironing is done then she has finished and she can have "her" time until just before dinner. She had previously worked for a Chinese family before and was responsible for just about everything including attending to the children in the middle of the night. The last family (expats) had her looking after their baby a fair bit of the time also. I on the other hand do not want or expect that sort of role. I want to continue to do the cooking and more importantly caring for my child 100% of the time. They're things I love and enjoy and give me purpose. I think that you're right, just the fact she is in my space is enough to feel annoyed (like a shadow lurking in the background!). Sadly, due to the floor plan of the apartment, she is always in view of us when in the kitchen or laundry. Our apartment is open plan, very annoying!
Carang and aussiegirl
If I could find a reliable, permanent, legal, live out, part timer, that could house sit when we are away for the pets this would be ideal for me! I think I'd get the best of both worlds. Who knows if this sort of thing exists?
Leah H
I have the pet dilema. A very old dog that just made it here to HK and has never been in a bording kennel before. Crazy as I sound, I would rather have her in her own environment with all those familiar smells. If I didn't have the dog here, then I would NOT have a live in I know that much for sure!
Aussie mum
So glad I'm not the only one struggling with this. Thanks for your reassurance. Also thinking of having another baby so I keep telling myself that this might become more of an attraction for me, having a DH that is, after being up all night with a bubs?

I have taken on board what you have all said. I am going to do a timetable and roster times I want her out of the apartment (so I can have personal space) and see how that goes. I am also going to investigate other options for pet boarding just to see if I can do it and legal part time help.

Thanks for all your support.

 

[Hunter]

Seems like "live out" is the best option here. I think to have the DHs live out should be the future trend of employing a DH, especially in HK where space is such a luxury.
Would be great if some DHs in the same building rent an apartment in that building, and whenever the employers need them, they can immediately be present, if not, they can simply have their own time chatting with other DHs, or they can share in buying themselves a TV, a computer, etc. This is good as they won't have so much homesick, and they can have their own privacy as well.

if anyone of you are in the related business, do propose to the relevant agency. i am sure most of the employers and even the DHs will welcome the idea.

 

[sea princess]

Hunter
I think that on a Helpers wage it would be impossible for them to rent in the same apartment complex as most of us expats even if they rallied money together?
I don't see too mnay of them in our apartment complex lonely. They seem to have a lovely suppoort network and are pretty supportive of one another, but that's just what I've seen here in our complex.

 

[carang]

if you are just looking for someone to take care of your dogs, check out my husband's website:

Home

we home board dogs all the time. we have had VERY old dogs in the past. my hubby literally had to carry the dogs outside so they could do their business.

that would eliminate the need of having a helper.

good luck whatever you decide. it's not easy.

 

[sea princess]

Carang
Thanks, I just did a google search on dog kennels in HK about 10 minutes prior to your post and found this site. Looks great!

 

[Hunter]

sea princess, this is simply a fantasy on top of my head. I understand about the finance issue.
of course, there will be adjustments in their employment terms if "living out" gets to be the trend.

 

[Frenchy]

I found once in the HK Magazine some information about the Employees Retraining Board of the HK Gov. The helpers are trained in household cleaning, laundry, basic cooking, infant care and safety, and can work part time legally.
I visited their site but it's only in chinese : ldh.erb.org or call 2317-4567.
This information was given last year, hope it still update.

Edit : their english version is working now

 

[carang]

the other option is to try an agency.

i have two part-time cleaners that clean my playgroup centre. there was a helper agency next door for a while when i opened and i just went in and told them that i wanted LEGAL part-time. at first they sent my FDH, but when i reiterated that i was ONLY interested in LEGAL helpers, they found me two lovely ladies that have done the retraining.

the only drawback to these ladies is that they speak NO english at all.

 

[LeahH]

To encourage her to spend more time in her room, maybe get the Philippino channel put in? We got the basic cable package + Philippino channel which was much appreciated

 

[wanfamily]

Our situation did improve a lot when we lent her a laptop and she has internet access. She has started spending a lot of time on MSN chatting to her family and seems a lot happier for it!