How helpful is the daddy in taking care of your baby?
- Thread starter Hunter
- Start date
Well... my husband knows how to change diapers, give some medicines, feed our son, push/fold a pram, hold our baby, give him a bottle at the right temperature, give him a bath and put the right clothes, teatches him new words and behaviours, and when he comes after work he will play with him during an hour while I'm busy cooking and others... and during the week end I nearly have to fight to spend 10 minutes with my son because his father is always around him !! 
my husband is great with our kids. when they were at the baby stage he was very involved in feedings and nappy changing, now that they are older, he packs them up, settles them into carseats, attends every parent teacher meeting, when we come home from outings, one of us will prepare a quick meal and the other will bathe. he sees parenting as a 50-50 responsibility. i often wish my MIL were still alive so i could thank her for the great father and support to me my dh is. i never knew he would be, and i never thanked her.
that's so lucky of you all. My husband never takes the initiative to help. He can do some of the works mentioned in your posts, but just that I have to ask him to do it. It is very tiring. He never takes the initiative to play with our son. Again, I have to push him/make him to do so. He enjoys TV more than spending time with our son. Every weekends I have to think about places to go with our son. Otherwise if I let him make the decision, he will simply opt for staying home. Man, I am really sick and tired of this man. My MIL is still alive. I guess I really have to "thank" her then.
So, those with a great hubby who is a great dad as well, good for you, and I really envy you all.
So, those with a great hubby who is a great dad as well, good for you, and I really envy you all.
M
MLBW
Guest
I have to brag a bit on my husband. The night my son was born he had never held a baby before in his life. He "caught" my son when he was coming out and after they had washed him off a bit he asked the nurse, "Can you teach me how to hold him? I don't know how." She replied, "You'll learn your own style." And he sure has! On our plane ride back to HK with our son several stewardesses on different flights commented to me, "Wow, he is such a good daddy! He is so good with your baby!" Up until this point I hadn't really taken time to notice. In Hong Kong we've had people stop us on the street (especially when my son was younger) and one even said, "I am a father and I have never seen a dad who really knew what he was doing like you do" to my husband. What a compliment! So, now my husband really takes iniative. Over Easter we had holiday and he got up with my son in the morning every day and let me sleep in! It was awesome! I always defer diaper changing duty to him because he has it down to a science--he can change my toddler son's poopy diaper with the baby laying on his lap on a bumpy moving bus without making a mess and in record time! He feeds our son, puts him to bed, gives him a bath, takes him out and teaches him to play sports, carries him on his shoulders when we're out and disciplines him well. I think he's a way better child-carer than I am!
joyofliving
Registered User
I am blessed too in this respect. My husband is crazy about our daughter and everyday I see him getting more and more involved in taking care of her. He makes her laugh all the time doing funny tricks, takes her out to play on the weekends, feeds her, gives her a bath, makes her go to sleep for naps/ in the evening, changes her poop daipers even if he is all dressed up to go to work and so much more. He makes sure she is super comfortable and happy always. He is a great father in all respects and my daughter is very attached to her daddy and showers great affection on him.
Hunter, I suggest you have a serious chat about this to your husband. I would if I were you
Hunter, I suggest you have a serious chat about this to your husband. I would if I were you
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Hunter,
I think with our husbands there are many variables that influence how helpful they are. Some new daddys just don't know what to do, for whatever reason and it doesn't mean that they don't love or care about their baby. I think it's just that they are uncomfortable with a baby and lack the maternal instinct that most moms have naturally. Because of this, it is easier for them to ignore the baby or let mom do all the work. Some other variables are if they have ever been around children before they had their own and what there family dynamics were when they were raised. I don't necessary think that because your husband doesn't take initiative with the baby means that he doesn't want to be with the baby, maybe it is because he is uncomfortable with him and doesn't know what to do? I also don't think that you are alone. I think that there are a lot of mothers out there that often get frustrated with daddy's lack of help. The important thing is to communicate with your husband on how you're feeling and also how he is feeling. Work together to make things better. I know it's hard and very overwhemling sometimes, but the more you communicate, the easier it becomes. :smile:
I think with our husbands there are many variables that influence how helpful they are. Some new daddys just don't know what to do, for whatever reason and it doesn't mean that they don't love or care about their baby. I think it's just that they are uncomfortable with a baby and lack the maternal instinct that most moms have naturally. Because of this, it is easier for them to ignore the baby or let mom do all the work. Some other variables are if they have ever been around children before they had their own and what there family dynamics were when they were raised. I don't necessary think that because your husband doesn't take initiative with the baby means that he doesn't want to be with the baby, maybe it is because he is uncomfortable with him and doesn't know what to do? I also don't think that you are alone. I think that there are a lot of mothers out there that often get frustrated with daddy's lack of help. The important thing is to communicate with your husband on how you're feeling and also how he is feeling. Work together to make things better. I know it's hard and very overwhemling sometimes, but the more you communicate, the easier it becomes. :smile:
carang
Registered User
my hubby is absolutely AWESOME! the ONLY place that i could fault him is in the area of discipline. he wants to do it, has watched innumerable episodes of supernanny, but he has a terrible time implementing what he knows in his head he should do.
i think that i really lucked out with my hubby....he's SOOOOO into being a dad. he's refused to get a "real job" and instead work from home so that he can be around the kids more.
i think that i really lucked out with my hubby....he's SOOOOO into being a dad. he's refused to get a "real job" and instead work from home so that he can be around the kids more.
hunter, i think our husband learns to be dad from watching their own dads. of course, there are exceptions. i think maybe try to compliment him on whatever he did with the baby, then he'll like the feeling of being a capable dad & he'll initiate more. another thing is, as new moms, we tend to have a way of doing things "our way", so when our husband do it another way, we will criticize or comment, which in the end will discouraging them from participating. I'm not saying that you are doing that, it's just a possibility.
I have tried basically everything: talk to him, compliment him, but not working. He is just not a daddy type. It's shameful to tell you all that, to get married with him is the biggest regret of my life. Personally I like babies very much, but with this guy, one is just enough.
I just don't understand why a man can be so passive. Why doesn't he wanna play with his son? How can he be so so so selfish (whenever he gets home from work, he has to watch his program and my son has to watch his cartoon in our room)? I have no chance to sleep-in during the weekend as he is the one
As a mother, I am 100% devoted to my son, and I don't feel tired though physically fatigue is really reaching its limit. but whenever I see my son's big smiles, I just forget all the physical constraints.
I just don't understand why a man can be so passive. Why doesn't he wanna play with his son? How can he be so so so selfish (whenever he gets home from work, he has to watch his program and my son has to watch his cartoon in our room)? I have no chance to sleep-in during the weekend as he is the one
As a mother, I am 100% devoted to my son, and I don't feel tired though physically fatigue is really reaching its limit. but whenever I see my son's big smiles, I just forget all the physical constraints.