Holding child back a year so he'll do better at school interviews?

[lily12211]

A friend of mine said that she's going to hold her son back a year so that he'll be the oldest rather than the youngest in class and that he will be able to do better at some of the international school interviews, etc. That got me thinking - should I be holding my son back a year? Many of the international schools have cut off dates at end of August. My son was born August 21. That means he'll just barely make the cut off. He would also be one of the youngest in his class, if he gets into any of these schools.

If I were to hold him back, I'm not even sure how I would do that - have him repeat a grade of kindy? Also, would any of the international schools reject my application if they see that he's older?

Any thoughts appreciated!

 

[lesliefu]

depends on where you apply. my daughter is aug 31 birthday - at HKIS the cut off is Sept 1 so she could theoretically be the youngest OR the oldest. i have held her back a year - actually, the school asked if i thought she would interview well this year, OR next year...since she is slow in talking, of course i opted for next year. now she is doing one more year of kindy. and wont be interviewing for HKIS till next year. one more year will help her develop better i believe. dont want her to be youngest as she is already slow for her age, being the oldest she might be more ready. really depends on your kid - my 2 daughter would have no problem with being the youngest - she's a june birthday so she WILL be the youngest when she starts nursery...dont forsee a problem. you might want to check with different international schools though....actually - ESF is by birth year so your son would not be the youngest -

 

[MommyTo3]

My twins are among the youngest in their ESF class. Holding them back crossed my mind, especially the boy (significant speech delay), but they passed their interviews, there were no major concerns at all from their preschool or current school and off they went. I can only say, they have surprised me, they have excelled and made such a huge amount of progress, I am so happy I didn't, and the teachers told me I never should have.

I usually say to other parents, unless the schools and the parents have a "major" concern, I would just go with it. As they youngest in the class, it's more likely they'll make relatively more progress than being the oldest one in the class. I have nothing against holding back in general, but I am starting to hear it more and more, and just "age" or a calendar shouldn't be a factor. Mine possibly have to repeat a year once changing to a different school system, but we'll see when that time comes and what stage they're at.

This is quite an interesting read, which was published right after mine started school ... http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/25/opinion/sunday/dont-delay-your-kindergartners-start.html

 

[happyflipper]

I had to make this same choice as well for my son when he first started ESF Kindy. He was the youngest in his class being borned end December and he didnt even know how to talk when he first started K1. (Actually his K1 teachers said to me it was quite cute the he stood in their way and waved his hands when he wanted to get their attention ) I knew that he would learn more from the bigger kids as he likes being with older children and it was a motivational tool for him to grow bigger, write & read better and catch up with his friends. So we did put him into Kindy as the youngest but had the option of repeating Kindy if he was not ready for primary.
This year he was accepted in ESF primary and again we talked to the kindy and his teachers about his strength and weakness of being ready for P1 and we told to expect ups and down for the first half of the P1 new term as he is not as mature as others in his class but he should be fine. I think it depends how much difference in learning ability between your child and the middle pack in class is most important for your decision so that your child dont feel left behind. It not between the youngest and oldest in the class. Someone has to be the youngest in class !
You know your child best so follow your gut feel -

 

[penguinsix]

On the British Expats in the USA message board there was a rather lengthy discussion with some good insight on the practice (despite a bit of political ranting in the middle).

Because of the difference in start ages between the US system and the UK system, some UK expats move to the US trying to put their children in 'grade appropriate' rather than 'age appropriate' classes. A parent would try to put their student finishing P2 in the UK into 3rd Grade in the US (despite the age differences). This leads to the UK-expat child being the youngest in their class, and in some cases, suffering academically and emotionally.

As always, it depends of course on your own child's maturity, emotionally, academically, and physically, but this thread might be of interest:

Getting put down a grade at school : British Expat Discussion Forum

 

[mumsy]

You should speak to the school to see if they accommodate changing year groups. I found ESF were not flexible in their admissions - I was told you need to apply for the correct year group, but once you are in the system then I believe they may allow the child to change year if necessary.

My younger son is Dec born and will be the youngest in his year, but I've decided to go ahead and start him this August anyway (not ESF). I feel he is ready. Later if the teachers feel he is significantly behind, he will have the option to repeat the year and then he will be the oldest - I have no problem with that.

 

[MommyTo3]

Many ESF schools are fairly flexible BUT you still have to apply for your child's regular year of birth in order to get on the list and THEN they'll assess the child and see what they think is best in cooperation with the parents.

 

[Dwinrx]

As I understand cut off date in HK is 31st December and not August. Sometime they extend it by 1 month and consider child born in next Year January for next grade.
If your child is born in August don't worry - my child is Sept born and done nice in Interview. Evenif you hold back, you will not loose a year, if child is eligible for P1 this year, next year he will be interviewed for P2. But if you decide to hold back - don't sit idle. Need to work on communication + reading + listening skills to perform better next year.