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Helper leaving for vacation!
- Thread starter meimei
- Start date
barbwong_130
Registered User
I think everyone knows that having a helper is a luxury ? just a luxury that we don?t want to be without.
My helper is also on holiday at the moment and I?ve found the only way to cope is to lower my standards. For example the only clothes being ironed are my husband?s work shirts and he?s doing them himself.
If five o?clock has arrived and I?ve still not been shopping I telephone my husband and ask him to bring a take away home. I then make the rice (in the rice cooker) to go with it and it feels like I have contributed to the meal!
If my husband isn?t home for dinner and the weather is nice we go and have a picnic in the park ? the kids are happy and I have no washing up. If it is raining we?ll order pizza ? the kids are still happy and I still have no washing up.
And remember when everything seems like hell on earth ? learn from the experience. I will arrange in future not to return from holiday while my helper is away. I still haven?t managed to get all the washing done and we returned four days ago!
My helper is also on holiday at the moment and I?ve found the only way to cope is to lower my standards. For example the only clothes being ironed are my husband?s work shirts and he?s doing them himself.
If five o?clock has arrived and I?ve still not been shopping I telephone my husband and ask him to bring a take away home. I then make the rice (in the rice cooker) to go with it and it feels like I have contributed to the meal!
If my husband isn?t home for dinner and the weather is nice we go and have a picnic in the park ? the kids are happy and I have no washing up. If it is raining we?ll order pizza ? the kids are still happy and I still have no washing up.
And remember when everything seems like hell on earth ? learn from the experience. I will arrange in future not to return from holiday while my helper is away. I still haven?t managed to get all the washing done and we returned four days ago!
I know these type of threads cause alot of discussion, yes i have a helper and i agree they come in very handy when it comes to the house work etc..But I think they make people very lazy not just around the house but lazy parents.
My mother was a young mother with 4 children, there were 18 months difference from the 1st and 2nd child. She lived in a roof of a house, had no car had no money and very little help from my dad oh and no washing machine and drying facilities. (BTW she was living in London in the 70's). She did a fabulous job in raising us all and when we were all older she would take all four of us abroad and one of us would be allowed to take a friend too....all on her own. Non of this helper coming along business!! I can't say it must have been easy for her, but never to this day has she ever moaned. My sisters are now taking the great example from my mum and umm doing this strange thing called raising your own children and cleaning your own house.....ever heard of it....its called a housewife!!!
Then you get people here in HK they can't even look after a poxy little apartment and a baby for a couple of weeks....unbelieveable.
My mother was a young mother with 4 children, there were 18 months difference from the 1st and 2nd child. She lived in a roof of a house, had no car had no money and very little help from my dad oh and no washing machine and drying facilities. (BTW she was living in London in the 70's). She did a fabulous job in raising us all and when we were all older she would take all four of us abroad and one of us would be allowed to take a friend too....all on her own. Non of this helper coming along business!! I can't say it must have been easy for her, but never to this day has she ever moaned. My sisters are now taking the great example from my mum and umm doing this strange thing called raising your own children and cleaning your own house.....ever heard of it....its called a housewife!!!
Then you get people here in HK they can't even look after a poxy little apartment and a baby for a couple of weeks....unbelieveable.
I was so worried about taking the baby to an overseas trip without a helper. But everything worked out just fine. The baby adjusted without any problem. In fact, I think he enjoyed spending all day with mum and dad. While it was suddenly a lot of work for me and my hubby, we just coped with it, shared the work and enjoyed the opportunity to bond with our baby. Don't underestimate yourself. You will cope just fine.
i think living in asia spoils us a bit
don't believe that where everywhere came from, helpers/nannies are readily available (expensive!)
i don't have a live-in helper. just somebody who comes in to cook and clean the house.
i work from 9am-3pm and my son goes to school from 8am-4pm. I work and then come back home to take care of my child. This is how my mom did it when i was growing up and i believe I can do it as well especially with the help of modern technology --- rice cooker, washing machine/dryer etc.
To each his own really. All depends on the choice we want to make.
don't believe that where everywhere came from, helpers/nannies are readily available (expensive!)
i don't have a live-in helper. just somebody who comes in to cook and clean the house.
i work from 9am-3pm and my son goes to school from 8am-4pm. I work and then come back home to take care of my child. This is how my mom did it when i was growing up and i believe I can do it as well especially with the help of modern technology --- rice cooker, washing machine/dryer etc.
To each his own really. All depends on the choice we want to make.
your child will cope. you can choose to tell him that nanny is going home to see her kids/family & show photos to him, and tell him that she's coming back. or you can choose to do nothing. different children cope differently, but at that age, your child will probably be very happy to stay with mom all day, so didn't notice much the disappearance of the nanny.
as for your home chores, you probably have to work out a schedule for yourself, like putting the clothes in the washing machine the moment you get up, so you can hand them before you go to work. then go to the market during lunch time or just shop for a week at the weekend. make use of vacuum pot for soup & timer for you rice cooker. make use of the ready packed steam spare-ribs pack & mince fish, etc avialable at parknshop & wellcome.
you will survive the four weeks & be surprised how much you can do by yourself.
then when your helper returns, you will know that she is dispensable & you won't give in as much as you used to and your son will be a lot closer to you. one more thing, i've recently learnt that small children, better behave when you talk to them in a low & gentle voice. when you want them to do sth, instead of asking them to do it (and explaining why), you start doing it yourself & he will follow.
as for your home chores, you probably have to work out a schedule for yourself, like putting the clothes in the washing machine the moment you get up, so you can hand them before you go to work. then go to the market during lunch time or just shop for a week at the weekend. make use of vacuum pot for soup & timer for you rice cooker. make use of the ready packed steam spare-ribs pack & mince fish, etc avialable at parknshop & wellcome.
you will survive the four weeks & be surprised how much you can do by yourself.
then when your helper returns, you will know that she is dispensable & you won't give in as much as you used to and your son will be a lot closer to you. one more thing, i've recently learnt that small children, better behave when you talk to them in a low & gentle voice. when you want them to do sth, instead of asking them to do it (and explaining why), you start doing it yourself & he will follow.
Hi I never really believe in the helper thing but unfortunately I now realise I will need one very soon. ITs not becoz I think I cant cope with looking after the baby and doing the house work at the same. Its becoz I will need to go back to my full time job soon after I give birth to my first baby. My husband has just set up a business recently and his income is unstable, and it also means I cant give up work either. SO both of us will be going to work during the day, so whose going to look after the baby???
Ah I am so worried, I would really rather to take care of the baby myself (who doesn't?) but we have no choice.
Ah I am so worried, I would really rather to take care of the baby myself (who doesn't?) but we have no choice.
I think it's a little sad that parents are dreading their helper going away because it means they will have to look after their baby themsellves....this is something I am trying to understand, but just can't.
I dread my helper going away for different reasons- I hate housework, don't know how to do it, and have no interest in doing it and so when our helper is away the dishes and dirty clothes collect in piles and we eat out a lot!
But to worry about the helper going away because it means 'shock horror,' having to feed your baby yourself, change their nappy, give them a bath, go to them when they wake up in the night, play with them, take them places- that is an alien concept to me.
I can't imagine how a child would feel knowing that Mummy dreads taking care of them when their helper is away!
I am the first to admit that our house without a helper is a pigsty (my husbands words, not mine!) but our son doesn't seem to notice!
Perhaps my opinion is a little harsh but so be it.....a helper is just that, a helper- not a replacement parent!
I know some people think that an attack on people who let their helper raise their baby is an attack on those who work full time but that is not what I am doing- I know plenty of Mothers who work full time, and yet who do everything for their baby when they are at home, and their baby/ies know who Mummy is.
It's sad, I think, when children starting kindergarten, on their first day, cry for their helper and not Mummy; or when they hurt themselves, or are sick, they just want their helper. As a Mum, it would break my heart if my son did that.
I dread my helper going away for different reasons- I hate housework, don't know how to do it, and have no interest in doing it and so when our helper is away the dishes and dirty clothes collect in piles and we eat out a lot!
But to worry about the helper going away because it means 'shock horror,' having to feed your baby yourself, change their nappy, give them a bath, go to them when they wake up in the night, play with them, take them places- that is an alien concept to me.
I can't imagine how a child would feel knowing that Mummy dreads taking care of them when their helper is away!
I am the first to admit that our house without a helper is a pigsty (my husbands words, not mine!) but our son doesn't seem to notice!
Perhaps my opinion is a little harsh but so be it.....a helper is just that, a helper- not a replacement parent!
I know some people think that an attack on people who let their helper raise their baby is an attack on those who work full time but that is not what I am doing- I know plenty of Mothers who work full time, and yet who do everything for their baby when they are at home, and their baby/ies know who Mummy is.
It's sad, I think, when children starting kindergarten, on their first day, cry for their helper and not Mummy; or when they hurt themselves, or are sick, they just want their helper. As a Mum, it would break my heart if my son did that.
I guess it all comes down to what you're used to. If you were brought up in a household where Mummy did nothing and the Helper did everything (at least in relation to YOU - the child) then you would probably parent the same way.
Many of us here weren't brought up in these kinds of households - so to think that your entire life would fall apart becasue the helper goes on vacation is just too funny.
1. Hire a part time helper for a few hours a week.
2. Learn to do it yourself - women all over the world do it every day.
It's called a learning curve. (Some of us also call it Parenting.)
There's nothing wrong with having a Helper - many of us have one. But if you're a thoughtful, caring woman and parent, you shuld be able to cope witout oine for a few weeks. Just draw up a plan of what needs to be done and try to be realistic about much cleaning/ironing really needs to be done. Your place may be a mess for a few days, but perhaps you could look at it as a chance to re-connect with your baby.
Many of us here weren't brought up in these kinds of households - so to think that your entire life would fall apart becasue the helper goes on vacation is just too funny.
1. Hire a part time helper for a few hours a week.
2. Learn to do it yourself - women all over the world do it every day.
It's called a learning curve. (Some of us also call it Parenting.)
There's nothing wrong with having a Helper - many of us have one. But if you're a thoughtful, caring woman and parent, you shuld be able to cope witout oine for a few weeks. Just draw up a plan of what needs to be done and try to be realistic about much cleaning/ironing really needs to be done. Your place may be a mess for a few days, but perhaps you could look at it as a chance to re-connect with your baby.
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