helper hours?

[carang]

let's see...what does my helper do all day?

1) gets up, gets cereal for 2 yr old son, gets b'fast for herself
2) puts in laundry to wash
3)helps change diaper for baby and gives her a bath (i am working crazy hours right now!)
4) watches baby when son goes to playgroup. when son doesn't have playgroup he gets a bath around 9am.
5)takes out wet laundry and hangs it up to dry
6) plays with my son, watches tv. in the winter takes him to playground
7)entertains very fussy baby
8)makes lunch
9)eats lunch with my son
10) feeds baby expressed milk
11) vacuums and washes floors everyday
12)changes the sheets on the beds once per week
13) cleans the bathrooms every 2 days
14)washes downt he gardens with bleach everyday (we have dogs)
15)goes to the supermarket, does other errands (pays bills, goes to the bank etc)
16) prepares dinner
17) gives son bath
18)MORE laundry
19) in evening folds laundry

with two kids, it takes 5X as long to do anything. my good-intentioned son loves to help, be it washing floors or folding laundry. only problem is that he isn't really helping, only making it more difficult!

my helper finishes work around 7:30-8pm. we've tried to ask her to take a break in the middle of the day. sometimes she does, othertimes not. i find that because she has all day to do everything, she takes it. this is not a criticism. i'm about 85-90% happy with the job that she does. there are a few little things that drive me nuts, but i'm sure that she can say the same thing about me!

i find that when i'm doing housework i want to get it done as quickly as possible so i can do other stuff...

 

[somebodyfamous]

wow Jane01, you don't need a DH! What you listed is quite reasonable with one baby and if you dont have to do any parttime work or business and are truly a SAHM. Good for you!

 

[joannek]

ha good question. my DH doesn't need to do the cleaning in the house, cos the other one does.

here's what she does all day:
- get up when my daughter does, get her to use the potty or change her nappy
- get my bub to wash her face & brush her teeth
- then my hubby or I get up & play with my daughter while DH uses to bathroom (which takes about 30mins) while i go prepare my bub's breakfast. after she finishes with the bathroom, she loads bub's clothes in the washing machine (& she doesn't even sort them!! i've asked her to check for stains & put stain remover on, & she never does!!) we let bub eat breakfast while watching TV, DH washes the bottles & have breakfast.
- if she goes to morning playgroup, DH comes with us (i'm trying to get bub to behave in the car, so i can go with her by myself.) after playgroup, we come home. DH changes bub's clothes & gets the naughty one to wash her hand, then she puts bub's clothes in the dryer. then i prepare lunch for bub while DH plays with her.
- DH feeds bub lunch while i also eat lunch. then DH eats lunch while i play with bub. then if bub & i go out in the afternoon, DH comes with us. if not she just stays home & tidies bub's room & maybe clean her toys. (she doesn't do the vacuuming cos last time she did she broke the vaccum cleaner.)
- we usually come home at 5pm. either me & DH prepare bub's dinner & bub eats at 5.30pm. after bub's dinner, DH tidies bub's rm & washes the bathtub to prepare for bub's bath. bub baths at 7pm, DH helps with bathing & putting bub's clothes on. then i put bub to sleep.
- while i'm putting bub to sleep, DH cleans the bathroom, folds the laundry (no need ironing!!) & washing bub's cutlery & dishes (maybe 3 bowls & 2 spoons!!). prepares bub's diaper bag for the next day. i don't know what else she does cos there's nothing else to do but she always finishes her day at 9.30pm to 10pm. only recently have i asked her to clean the floor in the living rm once a week.

twice a week she changes bub's bedsheets.

well, you tell me, is that a lot of work?

 

[jamesandsimo]

Thanks kingsley for the correct details and links.

 

[jane01]

Sorry, I wasn't very clear. Looking after a baby and/or children is a full time job - whether you are a mum or a helper. These little ones take a of time ! If you work, you have no choice but to leave your children with a helper and your helper will be very busy all day.

But, if you aren't working (which is why I gave the example of when I was on holidays, not in HK where I work), then I'm just not sure what a helper does all day with a SAHM. I am of course assuming the mum does the child stuff. I guess if you have more than one child, the helper can be looking after one child and the mother the other.

Also, I left the most time consuming chore off my list - picking up toys...drives me nuts. I must do it 30 times a day.

I suppose I don't see housework as a full time occupation, but then I hate housework !

joannek - in fairness to you, it doesn't sound like your helper has an overly taxing schedule, but you've forgotten to mention the night wakings which she attends to. I wonder what she does that takes so long at night that she can't finish earlier?

 

[aussiegal]

Jane I'm the same. Not only do i follow a similar schedule (washing floors a couple of times a week etc) but I'm still puzzled as to why the helpers work such long hours and so far no one has posted anything that seems unreasonable or overly taxing, including Joannek. In fact, Joannek I don't understand why you need two helpers. It's seems like you do a lot of the kid work and you cook a bit too so why 2 unless they are both really bad at their job? From the list of what one of your helper's does I'm surprised she finishes at 10pm and even more surprised that you let her get away with not doing certain things, like vacuuming. Does you mother in law not think you are beneath that when she thinks you should be looking after your children less? All very confusing.

The only explanation i can come up with so far for why helpers work such long hours is because they take so long to do anything. I've seen this first hand when i'm out shopping -helpers idling over every single purchase, reading magazines and literally dragging their feet obviously not in a hurry to get back home to do real work. I'm sure there are employers out there that have a never ending list of things for their helpers to do, much of it unnecessary, but no one has dared post that yet!

 

[Jemma]

For all of those people who may care, I would just like to say that "legal entitlements" are one thing, fair and just working conditions are a completely seperate matter.
Put yourselves in their shoes. Mostly they have left 3 or 4 of their own children at home to work in Hong Kong as it is the ONLY way they can support their families.
They do not work for you because they are thrilled to be away from their own families! It is because they are forced to make a terrible decision.
That said, they put up with so much because they know the alternative - starving and uneducated children at home.
Have a heart, or at least a conscience!!
Treat them as you would be treated. If you would not accept your employer policing your private life, then back-off and give them their freedom! Give them reasonable working hours, and treat them with respect.
They are not obliged to be your slaves, they are entitled to be treated as any employee - including yourself!

 

[capital]

Do people who are stay at home moms have helpers? I got the impression that those with helpers worked partime or fulltime. I can't imagine that there is that much to do if you are a stya at home mom. Although I do think if everyone is home all day the house gets more messy that when mom and dad are at work and the kids are in daycare. For our house it take about

10-15 minutes/bathroom once/ week, with just a quick clean up in between if needed.

Vaccuuming 40 minutes (whole house). done well once a week, kitchen dining entry area done several times week 10 minutes or less

breakfast is usually toast/ceral, My husband cleans it up at supper time, so do dishes once/day during week, 3 times/day weekends.

dust once/week or less depending on time

Laundry for four takes me one entire day/week with a giant washer and dryer, so I cannot imagine how people do it with a small washer. This is a big mystery to me. Last trip to hong kong we had a combo washer dryer and we had to do laundry all day every day! I was sure we would break the machine from over use. I do not know how people can use this type of machine all the time! Everything was always damp and clothes smell more so needed to be washed more.It took forever to do a load and most of the time it still was not dry. How do you typically do laundry?

I only iron my clothes for work, I never iron my childrens unless a special occasion, If my husband wants ironed clothes he has to iron them himself, so needless to say he is usally very wrinkly.

I don't have time to wash the floor very often. I hate washing the floor, but it really needs it about twice.week

 

[ctrbabe1]

I've also wondered what SAHM's do with a helper. I'm a SAHM with two kids, (a 4 year old and a 3 month old) and we don't have a helper. There's not enough work to justify one. I do all the shopping, cleaning and minding of the children (hubby helps when he is home), and I couldn't imagine passing off any of that stuff to a dh because I'd just feel lazy. I guess I should mention, though, that our place is pretty small. Only 518 sq. ft., so it's not like it takes a lot of work to keep it clean anyway. (and to be fair, there are plenty of times when I wish we at least had a part time helper to cook dinner and clean up afterwards, lol. Sometimes I'm just tired of cooking.) (for reference, I'm an expat).

My hubby's cousin, on the other hand, is also a SAHM with 2 kids. (for reference, she's Chinese). She has 3 helpers! One does the grocery shopping and cooking, and then she has one for each kid. All she does is go shopping and out with her friends. Sometimes when she's too lazy to drive her kids to school (they are both under 2.5 years old), she calls her fathers driver to pick them up and take them. When we are at family dinners, the kids only want to be with the helpers. In my opinion, it's just a sad, sad situation.

 

[joannek]

from my experience my helper takes twice the time that i need to do sth. so if it takes me 15 mins, it takes her 30min. last night i went out & see what she does, she was eating her dinner leisurely (of course she's entitled to do that) with the other helpers & she helps clean up the dishes & kitchen, which usually finishes by 8.30pm. maybe she washes her own clothes after that, i don't know. then my husband went out & saw her cleaning the floor on the living rm. which i asked her to do only one part every night & ask her not to take more than 15 mins.

i live with my MIL & FIL & one brother-in-law. so there are 5 adults & 1 small child. my hubby's family grew up with chinese amahs. so even if they have to get a glass of water they call out to the helper (in fact, they have a bell that rings in the kitchen). so one helper do all the cleaning & tidying in the house & attending to their needs (like cutting fruits & serving it on a plate with fork & wet towel). i know, it sounds funny. i am so used to just eating a fruit whole in my hand, and then washing my hands afterwards (i mean, my mom was busy enought minding me & my sis, who would imagine fruits can be served peeled, cut & served on a plate?!). one time my MIL saw my old helper eating an apple whole (i mean, like everyone else, with bit), my MIL made a comment which she put like a joke, "you eat like a barbarian!". my helper told me, i could only smile. =)