I don't know why I'm such a wimp with her. I'm very straightforward with people at work when there is something wrong. But I somehow feel so embarassed to tell her things, like don't cut your fingernails on my kitchen counter! Maybe I will say something on Monday, but it feels weird to tell her 2 days later.
Helper and basic hygiene
- Thread starter Gracey
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Gracey, don't be so hard on yourself, I completely understand how you feel. At work it is a completely different thing, like I don't agree with the way the project is going, why don't you do this....it's not that personal, it's more job related. For things like this, it seems personal in a way.....not sure if it really is, because for helpers it is their job, but it does seem to be personal (coming from my mouth, my perspective) anyway....
Eeeuw! What's this crunchy thing in my sandwich? Oh a nail!
It is awkward to remind someone about their personal hygiene. Sometimes, I can get away by reminding my child about manners & hygiene in front of the helper so she also realizes how important it is. But if you don't have a toddler to rebuff some potentially embarrassing issues, you might have to just steel yourself for an uncomfortable situation by talking to her.
Good luck Gracey!
It is awkward to remind someone about their personal hygiene. Sometimes, I can get away by reminding my child about manners & hygiene in front of the helper so she also realizes how important it is. But if you don't have a toddler to rebuff some potentially embarrassing issues, you might have to just steel yourself for an uncomfortable situation by talking to her.
Good luck Gracey!
Hi Gracey,
I share your frustration so so much. I guess I'm afraid to confront my helper about hygiene issues because although I take care of my baby myself, I still very much rely on her to do the cleaning and cooking for my baby, and she can easily do creepy things if she feels I have offended her. I also freaked out when I saw my helper cleaned the mop in our kitchen sink, is that where they clean the mop in their country? and I can go on and on with similar anecdotes.
For my baby's sake, I try to keep my helper happy, i smile at her even when I'm mad like a cow with her. it's sad, but this seems to be the only way for us...
I share your frustration so so much. I guess I'm afraid to confront my helper about hygiene issues because although I take care of my baby myself, I still very much rely on her to do the cleaning and cooking for my baby, and she can easily do creepy things if she feels I have offended her. I also freaked out when I saw my helper cleaned the mop in our kitchen sink, is that where they clean the mop in their country? and I can go on and on with similar anecdotes.
For my baby's sake, I try to keep my helper happy, i smile at her even when I'm mad like a cow with her. it's sad, but this seems to be the only way for us...
Sorry typo...
@ yvonnewyw, if this is really the case you need to hire a new helper. You shouldn't need to try top keep your helper HAPPY to prevent some sort of petty revenge. Believe me, when you get the right helper, you won't need to tiptoe and feign your emotions around her!
@ yvonnewyw, if this is really the case you need to hire a new helper. You shouldn't need to try top keep your helper HAPPY to prevent some sort of petty revenge. Believe me, when you get the right helper, you won't need to tiptoe and feign your emotions around her!
Many of my HK relatives presume that Filipina maids have some sort of evil / vengeful agenda to punish or harm them. I have no idea why -- maybe too many fearmongering stories in the local press. I think HK Chinese presume the worst intentions first. They will jump to conclusions that the helper is stealing, cheating, or harming.
But, in these cases, I think it's just ignorance. Why do you assume that your helper cleans the mop in the sink to harm you? Probably she just doesn't know. Yes, maybe that is the way things are done in their country. Have you traveled much to the poorer parts of Southeast Asia? There are many households without clean running water yet, much less multiple sinks.
My helper has hygiene issues, but I don't sense any malice. Once I told her to wash her hands, she did. As for the fingernails, gross as it is, I don't think she was sneaking around trying to dirty my food! The fact that she did it casually while standing right in front of me makes me think that she thinks this is normal behavior. On Monday I will tell her it's not acceptable, and I'm sure she will stop.
Why don't you just tell your helper how you want things done? Do you have any PROOF that she would do "creepy things" on purpose out of spite? Why can't you just say "please clean the mop in another place?" I think pretending to smile while you're mad is a really bad way to live.