HELP!!!!! 4-month old not sleeping on his own.
- Thread starter Eve12
- Start date
starbucks2
Registered User
Hi piper
I worked out what the problem was. You have 2 threads with the same question
and same title. I have now successfully posted on both - with a remarkably similiar response - my memory can't be too shot after having a baby!
SB2
I worked out what the problem was. You have 2 threads with the same question
and same title. I have now successfully posted on both - with a remarkably similiar response - my memory can't be too shot after having a baby!SB2
Hi - I also created a sleep monster and basically I let her cry. I knew that she was fed, clean and burped and safe in her cot and let her cry. Of course it was hard listening to her cry but it was worthwhile. The first time she cried for 10 minutes and then 7 minutes and then 5 minutes etc etc. Overall, it took 3 days before she would sleep without crying. I do the same routinue with her before every sleep. I get her favourite blanket and sing a lullaby and then put her in her cot.
Be strong - my friend said that the best thing that you can teach them is to fall asleep by themselves.
Be strong - my friend said that the best thing that you can teach them is to fall asleep by themselves.
Hey there - I personally could never do controlled crying but thankfully haven't had to because I used the shush pat as mentioned above from a very young age so my baby always went down awake in her own bed and fell asleep that way. It was VERY time consuming, I would have to sit doing this maybe 30 minutes at a time for every nap, after every feed at night etc. which for a newborn is a lot!! However I am sooooo glad I did it because now she just goes off to sleep like a dream, can really recommend it if you have the patience. Not 100% sure how easily will work for a 4 month old though, maybe he's a bit big for this now?
gladyswly
Registered User
I was in the same situation as you, Piper. My baby would not sleep unless she is sleeping in my arms. I have read both the books 'no cry sleep solution' and 'no cry nap solution', but none of that 'solutions' work. Finally I trained her to sleep on her own by 'controlled crying/crying out loud', it works. If you wanna read the books I mentioned to see if the 'solutons' work for you, you can PM me I can lend them to you, so you don't have to waste money to buy in case it doesn't work.
Hi Piper, I was completely against controlled crying till I started falling sick from the lack of sleep and a terrible back- I realised I was not being a good mum during the day. We used another lady's book called The Sleep Sense manual. I have a pdf version. It is a very compassionate book and talks you through the crying bit. She has 2 methods- one is to stay in the room while the baby is trying to sleep and the other is to leave the room. Whatever works for you. If you can only hear the baby cry for 2 min (is this by the watch or by guess work?) try 3 min next time. So every 3 min you go and say some key words and reassure the baby that you are there. I would go in every 5 min (she recommends 5 min and it took me 47 min first day) to cuddle him, kiss him and reassuring him. Key words are also very important.
This is a great age to train him- he does not have as much stamina as a 8 month ols might have. I trained my baby around the same age till then he had always been rocked to sleep. Now it is so easy for him to sleep and I love the fact that I am free almost as soon as he is tucked in his bed. Hope this helps.
This is a great age to train him- he does not have as much stamina as a 8 month ols might have. I trained my baby around the same age till then he had always been rocked to sleep. Now it is so easy for him to sleep and I love the fact that I am free almost as soon as he is tucked in his bed. Hope this helps.
I'm onto baby number 3 and we have done different things with each one and they've all worked out ok. Our now 5 month old was very coddled, he still co-sleeps but hey he's our last so I don't really care!
The good news is that until 3 weeks ago he absolutely had to be rocked or fed to sleep. At about 4 1/2 weeks we just started doing a more serious bedtime routine, bath, play and story time on the bed and then we leave him to fall asleep by himself. He does it fine now and only cries if he's teething. He did a few protest cries at first but they were nothing serious.
Sometimes babies just need a bit of time. All babies are different so why not give him another month or so trying to develop a good routine (include lots of cuddles and a few books in his room) before getting into the controlled cry method which can be hard on everyone. You never know, you might not need it.
The good news is that until 3 weeks ago he absolutely had to be rocked or fed to sleep. At about 4 1/2 weeks we just started doing a more serious bedtime routine, bath, play and story time on the bed and then we leave him to fall asleep by himself. He does it fine now and only cries if he's teething. He did a few protest cries at first but they were nothing serious.
Sometimes babies just need a bit of time. All babies are different so why not give him another month or so trying to develop a good routine (include lots of cuddles and a few books in his room) before getting into the controlled cry method which can be hard on everyone. You never know, you might not need it.
Hi Shenzhennifer,
You mentioned that your little one was feeding like a NB before you introduced solids. My little guy (4months old) is still waking every 3-4 hours, during the night. I tried giving him 5ozs of formula at that "dream" feed time (10:30pm) and he was up at 1:45am..needing to feed again.
Was this how it was for you? Were you waking every couple of hrs at night? If so, how is it now that you have introduced solids.
Really curious to know when I will get 5hrs of sleep again. Actually, Im not greedy, I would settle for 4.5hrs. hahha
Thanks.
You mentioned that your little one was feeding like a NB before you introduced solids. My little guy (4months old) is still waking every 3-4 hours, during the night. I tried giving him 5ozs of formula at that "dream" feed time (10:30pm) and he was up at 1:45am..needing to feed again.
Was this how it was for you? Were you waking every couple of hrs at night? If so, how is it now that you have introduced solids.
Really curious to know when I will get 5hrs of sleep again. Actually, Im not greedy, I would settle for 4.5hrs. hahha
Thanks.
Shenzhennifer
Registered User
Hi Piper,
My son would have a longer stretch of sleep at the beginning of the night, of varying lengths, but from that first wake up it was every 3 hrs, sometimes even less. if you`re giving him that much formula during his dreamfeed, you wouldn`t think he`d be up 3 hrs later again - maybe it`s the habit. I used to try to dreamfeed my baby but then he started to wake for it and expect it, still waking up 3 hours later.
So, yes, I was up every few hours at night. I`m still up a lot, sometimes for milk, sometimes just because he`s woken up and can`t get himself back to sleep(he got used to the breast but now sometimes doesn`t even want it yet cannot sleep without it. angry baby at 3am
).
I introduced solids at a week before his 5th month because he turned into a serious milk monster and stopped gaining weight. I was feeding him round the clock nearly every hour - I couldn`t keep up, nor did I want to. Nothing happened overnight, but he does sleep better than before. Then again, we are really hit or miss on the sleep thing. Sometimes he still wakes up a lot (not always for milk but at least once a night), sometimes he doesn`t. He`s on 3 full meals a day (at nearly 8 months) and it`s helped but it`s more of a habit now. Or it`s teething. Or separation anxiety. Or learning a new skill. It`s always something, it seems
I kept counting the occasionally increasing stretches of sleep -4 hrs, 4.5, 5,6,7 -yes even a 7!
But, you know what, it doesn`t matter. You are probably so programmed to waking up so frequently that even if your baby doesn`t wake up, you will, and wonder what`s happening and check his breathing, etc. And after that nearly full night`s sleep I once had (about 2 weeks ago), I felt no better in the morning.
My son would have a longer stretch of sleep at the beginning of the night, of varying lengths, but from that first wake up it was every 3 hrs, sometimes even less. if you`re giving him that much formula during his dreamfeed, you wouldn`t think he`d be up 3 hrs later again - maybe it`s the habit. I used to try to dreamfeed my baby but then he started to wake for it and expect it, still waking up 3 hours later.
So, yes, I was up every few hours at night. I`m still up a lot, sometimes for milk, sometimes just because he`s woken up and can`t get himself back to sleep(he got used to the breast but now sometimes doesn`t even want it yet cannot sleep without it. angry baby at 3am
).I introduced solids at a week before his 5th month because he turned into a serious milk monster and stopped gaining weight. I was feeding him round the clock nearly every hour - I couldn`t keep up, nor did I want to. Nothing happened overnight, but he does sleep better than before. Then again, we are really hit or miss on the sleep thing. Sometimes he still wakes up a lot (not always for milk but at least once a night), sometimes he doesn`t. He`s on 3 full meals a day (at nearly 8 months) and it`s helped but it`s more of a habit now. Or it`s teething. Or separation anxiety. Or learning a new skill. It`s always something, it seems
I kept counting the occasionally increasing stretches of sleep -4 hrs, 4.5, 5,6,7 -yes even a 7!
But, you know what, it doesn`t matter. You are probably so programmed to waking up so frequently that even if your baby doesn`t wake up, you will, and wonder what`s happening and check his breathing, etc. And after that nearly full night`s sleep I once had (about 2 weeks ago), I felt no better in the morning.