having a 3rd child?
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I went from 1 to 3, very different experience. I would have been happy with 2, would have never tried for a 3rd. We had no problems conceiving (on the contrary you would say 
), but I just felt 2 is so much more manageable. I still feel that way. With 3 you (as parents) are always outnumbered. You can more easily do things with 2 kids by yourself, with 3 a lot of things get more tricky, especially when they're small of course. Going to the supermarket is something I try to avoid with 3, but would have been fairly easy with a 4 yo and an almost 2 yo. Travelling by yourself, fine with 2, not so easy with 3 (especially twins in my case). A lot of people I know say going from 2 to 3 is just adding one more to the routine, but I feel (or at least think) that 3 tie your hands a lot more than 2.
Having said all that, 3 kids are a joy of course, and even though I only planned for 2, and got "one for free" I couldn't live without either one of them. However, sometimes I can't help myself but thinking that 2 would have been easy ... compared to this.
), but I just felt 2 is so much more manageable. I still feel that way. With 3 you (as parents) are always outnumbered. You can more easily do things with 2 kids by yourself, with 3 a lot of things get more tricky, especially when they're small of course. Going to the supermarket is something I try to avoid with 3, but would have been fairly easy with a 4 yo and an almost 2 yo. Travelling by yourself, fine with 2, not so easy with 3 (especially twins in my case). A lot of people I know say going from 2 to 3 is just adding one more to the routine, but I feel (or at least think) that 3 tie your hands a lot more than 2.Having said all that, 3 kids are a joy of course, and even though I only planned for 2, and got "one for free" I couldn't live without either one of them. However, sometimes I can't help myself but thinking that 2 would have been easy ... compared to this.
barbwong_130
Registered User
Mad as this sounds I actually think going from two to three is easy compared with going from one to two.
When I had my first baby everything was new and the learning curve was very steep. It definitely took me at least six weeks to feel comfortable in my new role. But as a family we were still adult centred and the baby/child tagged along with our events.
When I had my second child there was another adjustment period and I had to learn to juggle the needs of two children. I think this took much longer than the adjustment of becoming a mother but it wasn't so much of a shock because I knew how to handle a baby - just not the needs of a child and baby at the same time. Every time my older daughter was upset she wanted me but often I had the baby in my arms and ended up with both sitting on my knees. As the baby grew our family become much more child focused.
When the third baby came along I seemed to know how to handle a baby and at the same time the demands of the older children. I won't kid you there were times when all three needed me at the same time and that was tough. But generally the older two entertained each other and I believe I had much more special baby time with my third than I did with my second. And because the family life was already child centred there was no change.
And for me having the fourth was a piece of cake.
When I had my first baby everything was new and the learning curve was very steep. It definitely took me at least six weeks to feel comfortable in my new role. But as a family we were still adult centred and the baby/child tagged along with our events.
When I had my second child there was another adjustment period and I had to learn to juggle the needs of two children. I think this took much longer than the adjustment of becoming a mother but it wasn't so much of a shock because I knew how to handle a baby - just not the needs of a child and baby at the same time. Every time my older daughter was upset she wanted me but often I had the baby in my arms and ended up with both sitting on my knees. As the baby grew our family become much more child focused.
When the third baby came along I seemed to know how to handle a baby and at the same time the demands of the older children. I won't kid you there were times when all three needed me at the same time and that was tough. But generally the older two entertained each other and I believe I had much more special baby time with my third than I did with my second. And because the family life was already child centred there was no change.
And for me having the fourth was a piece of cake.
I can't talk as a mum of 3 as I have only one baby at the moment, and hoping for the 2nd one, but as a sister of 2 brothers.
As my brothers are very close in age, and I arrived 4 years later, there were very close to each others and I was kind of left alone. We didn't really developped a relationship before we were teenagers.
Also, my "middle" brother suffered a lot of his situation, complaining and looking for more attention than us, as we were having a "real" position in the family, the eldest, and the youngest, he was just the middle one, and was very jealous of his 2 other siblings.
My brother also has 3 kids, and the middle one always bring it back to her "middle position" when she is upset, and is developping a very strong character in order to show herself off.
I'm not saying it's like that in every family, it's just my personal experience.
Also, even if Mom2Sofie&Twins has to go through a very special situation with having twins after the first one, I assume her kids won't have the same feelings as they will all have a strong position, the eldest, and the twins.
If I was young enough to have more children, I would have loved to have a big family... and if I had to go for more than 2, I would even go for 4 ! :grouphug:
As my brothers are very close in age, and I arrived 4 years later, there were very close to each others and I was kind of left alone. We didn't really developped a relationship before we were teenagers.
Also, my "middle" brother suffered a lot of his situation, complaining and looking for more attention than us, as we were having a "real" position in the family, the eldest, and the youngest, he was just the middle one, and was very jealous of his 2 other siblings.
My brother also has 3 kids, and the middle one always bring it back to her "middle position" when she is upset, and is developping a very strong character in order to show herself off.
I'm not saying it's like that in every family, it's just my personal experience.
Also, even if Mom2Sofie&Twins has to go through a very special situation with having twins after the first one, I assume her kids won't have the same feelings as they will all have a strong position, the eldest, and the twins.
If I was young enough to have more children, I would have loved to have a big family... and if I had to go for more than 2, I would even go for 4 ! :grouphug:
I'm from a family of three siblings. My brother who was the eldest always thought we should show him more respect as he was the eldest! My sister who was in the middle always felt hard done by...the typical 'middle child' syndrome. I was the youngest so always assumed I was the favourite!! In a group of 3 we used to change alliances fairly often, my brother and I against my sister, my sister and I against my brother etc etc.
I'm not sure if the number of children would really change various relationships I think it is more dependant on the individual personalities.
I'm pretty sure the biggest change is for the parents (it starts to become crowd control issues!), I just remember it being a lot of fun with a brother and sister!
The biggest thing I did notice growing up is why 'family size tickets' for the cinema, zoo, holidays etc etc are only ever for a family of 4 and not 5...
I'm not sure if the number of children would really change various relationships I think it is more dependant on the individual personalities.
I'm pretty sure the biggest change is for the parents (it starts to become crowd control issues!), I just remember it being a lot of fun with a brother and sister!
The biggest thing I did notice growing up is why 'family size tickets' for the cinema, zoo, holidays etc etc are only ever for a family of 4 and not 5...
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So true. Travelling with 3 kids is a nightmare. Everything is set for 2 kids max. And with our very special family situation, I can never get anything done online, always need to ask, double check and request special situations.
momofthree
Registered User
I have three kids and am expecting my fourth in Dec(a surprise!) I found going from 2 to 3 much more challenging than from 1 to 2 but then that could be the age gap-4.5 years between 1 and 2 and 22months between 2 and 3.As yet I have not seen the downside of my bigger age gap-as a side thought.
I always wanted three and while it is challenging at times I love how my kids interact with one another.I also am very lucky to have an extremely hands on dad for a husband.
I am only just getting excited about number 4,but the concensus from people who have been there is the same as barbwong-its a piece of cake!
Here is hoping you are all right!
I always wanted three and while it is challenging at times I love how my kids interact with one another.I also am very lucky to have an extremely hands on dad for a husband.
I am only just getting excited about number 4,but the concensus from people who have been there is the same as barbwong-its a piece of cake!
Here is hoping you are all right!
carang
Registered User
i find this thread REALLY interesting!
i would LOVE to have 3. have always thought i'd have 3...but after two terrible pregnancies, don't know if i could do it again.
however, i feel like part of our family is missing. i think i'm the only one that feels that way. our two kids get along wonderfully well. hardly ever fight and when they do it's because the youngest doesn't want to hold hands with the oldest (i kid you not!). after my last wheelchair-bound pregnancy, having another is a VERY hard sell for hubby. he's happy with what we've got. don't get me wrong, my children are amazing, but like i said, i kind of feel like someone is missing.
one other problem that we have when talking about #3, besides $$$, is that twins run in my family... STRONGLY! my mum was a twin (her brother died at birth), and i have 3 sets of twin cousins on my mum's side. one uncle actually has two sets of twins...naturally! so, over 1/2 of my cousins are twins!
i'm a little worried that if we decided to do it one last time, i'd end up with 4, not 3... that's enough to give me pause.
my mum keeps telling me to be happy with the wonderful children that we have. they are happy and healthy etc etc etc...but i still get that gnawing feeling...
i would LOVE to have 3. have always thought i'd have 3...but after two terrible pregnancies, don't know if i could do it again.
however, i feel like part of our family is missing. i think i'm the only one that feels that way. our two kids get along wonderfully well. hardly ever fight and when they do it's because the youngest doesn't want to hold hands with the oldest (i kid you not!). after my last wheelchair-bound pregnancy, having another is a VERY hard sell for hubby. he's happy with what we've got. don't get me wrong, my children are amazing, but like i said, i kind of feel like someone is missing.
one other problem that we have when talking about #3, besides $$$, is that twins run in my family... STRONGLY! my mum was a twin (her brother died at birth), and i have 3 sets of twin cousins on my mum's side. one uncle actually has two sets of twins...naturally! so, over 1/2 of my cousins are twins!
i'm a little worried that if we decided to do it one last time, i'd end up with 4, not 3... that's enough to give me pause.
my mum keeps telling me to be happy with the wonderful children that we have. they are happy and healthy etc etc etc...but i still get that gnawing feeling...