I think Thanka has some great points.
The main thing is to show your helper you are not a pushover and you WILL challenge her when it seems like she is lying to confirm or refute it one way or the other. The bit about the power outage at the shop. You should have tackled that one as soon as it happened, because this sort of aberrant behaviour tends to escalate left unchecked.
You overlooking it is communicating to her either 1) that you're not aware 2) that you don't care 3) that you're a push-over and even though you do care you won't confront her ....and I would add 4) you need her too much and will just suck it up
About the phone use. My helper tried it on with chatting in the car on my DD way to school. It lasted for 20 minutes, it had never happened before. After she got off the phone I immediately told her, I prefer you not to speak on the phone whilst you are working or around my children. This hasn't happened before and you've always shown good judgment (she has!) so please don't let this happen again. Later on in the evening, to drive the point home, I had a chat with her to reiterate that the phone was not to be used when she was around my DD and working. If she had some down time like whilst she is waiting to pick my DD up after class then she could use the phone, but not after she has picked up my daughter. We have not had a problem since but I have a great helper and I am sure it was a onetime lapse because something was going on in her life.
About the grocery bills. You need to monitor this as it is likely to escalate. You must ask for all receipts, even the wet market gives receipts, and tell her not to buy from that particular shop if they won't furnish a receipt. My previous helper was skimming the groceries bills by exactly this method, claiming that the wet market doesn't give receipts. Since she has gone, my current helpers always supply receipts. Usually from the market it is a scrawl in Chinese (so usually the helpers can't fake these as they can't write). I have asked my helper to note down in English what the receipt is for. If in doubt google the word e.g fish in Chinese and see if it matches the scrawl on the paper.
About buying a few extra things for herself. Well that is up to you as an employer. My helpers are told that they can spend $100 per week on treats for themselves, they buy drinks, crisps, little pastries ect as what they prefer to eat may not be exactly the same. It is up to you to set the ground rules but speak up. Don't just keep letting things slide as you get more and more cross, and after wards the relationship will be irretrievably broken.
The main thing is to show your helper you are not a pushover and you WILL challenge her when it seems like she is lying to confirm or refute it one way or the other. The bit about the power outage at the shop. You should have tackled that one as soon as it happened, because this sort of aberrant behaviour tends to escalate left unchecked.
You overlooking it is communicating to her either 1) that you're not aware 2) that you don't care 3) that you're a push-over and even though you do care you won't confront her ....and I would add 4) you need her too much and will just suck it up
About the phone use. My helper tried it on with chatting in the car on my DD way to school. It lasted for 20 minutes, it had never happened before. After she got off the phone I immediately told her, I prefer you not to speak on the phone whilst you are working or around my children. This hasn't happened before and you've always shown good judgment (she has!) so please don't let this happen again. Later on in the evening, to drive the point home, I had a chat with her to reiterate that the phone was not to be used when she was around my DD and working. If she had some down time like whilst she is waiting to pick my DD up after class then she could use the phone, but not after she has picked up my daughter. We have not had a problem since but I have a great helper and I am sure it was a onetime lapse because something was going on in her life.
About the grocery bills. You need to monitor this as it is likely to escalate. You must ask for all receipts, even the wet market gives receipts, and tell her not to buy from that particular shop if they won't furnish a receipt. My previous helper was skimming the groceries bills by exactly this method, claiming that the wet market doesn't give receipts. Since she has gone, my current helpers always supply receipts. Usually from the market it is a scrawl in Chinese (so usually the helpers can't fake these as they can't write). I have asked my helper to note down in English what the receipt is for. If in doubt google the word e.g fish in Chinese and see if it matches the scrawl on the paper.
About buying a few extra things for herself. Well that is up to you as an employer. My helpers are told that they can spend $100 per week on treats for themselves, they buy drinks, crisps, little pastries ect as what they prefer to eat may not be exactly the same. It is up to you to set the ground rules but speak up. Don't just keep letting things slide as you get more and more cross, and after wards the relationship will be irretrievably broken.
