I always find it hard is that when do we let them make their own decisions? when should we be firm? A friend told me that there were three issues that were not negotiable: 1, safety issue, 2, health issue, 3, learning issue.
If they have to go to bed at 8pm, this is non negotiable, (of course when they get older, we set the daily schedule with them so they have their input). If they need a shower, they take a shower. if there is dinner time, they just have to sit down and eat. When crossing the road, they must hold adult's hand and look at the light. They cannot touch socket and they must OBEY...etc. for example my daughter wants to wear her thin red shirt to go to school but refuse to wear anything else when it was 7 degree outside, then this is not acceptable. so I explain to her that she can wear her red shirt on top of some thicker undershirt. She didn't want to but sorry, either this way or no red shirt at all because it was cold outside.
sometimes i find that it is so hard to discipline children because i give them too many choices. yes, on one hand you want them to be creative, independent, and able to look after themselves, able to voice out their ideas, and then you also have them fighting for freedom on the other hand.
always explain the reason and be firm. Praise them when they follow. Small things like what color sweater to put on, the flavor of the toothpaste, which drawing to hang on the wall, they have absolute say and make their own choice.
A book called THE discipline book by Dr William Sears is very good. Since we all have different personalities and so as our children. We just have to try different methods even we follow what the book says. Some children are easier, some are harder.
If they have to go to bed at 8pm, this is non negotiable, (of course when they get older, we set the daily schedule with them so they have their input). If they need a shower, they take a shower. if there is dinner time, they just have to sit down and eat. When crossing the road, they must hold adult's hand and look at the light. They cannot touch socket and they must OBEY...etc. for example my daughter wants to wear her thin red shirt to go to school but refuse to wear anything else when it was 7 degree outside, then this is not acceptable. so I explain to her that she can wear her red shirt on top of some thicker undershirt. She didn't want to but sorry, either this way or no red shirt at all because it was cold outside.
sometimes i find that it is so hard to discipline children because i give them too many choices. yes, on one hand you want them to be creative, independent, and able to look after themselves, able to voice out their ideas, and then you also have them fighting for freedom on the other hand.
always explain the reason and be firm. Praise them when they follow. Small things like what color sweater to put on, the flavor of the toothpaste, which drawing to hang on the wall, they have absolute say and make their own choice.
A book called THE discipline book by Dr William Sears is very good. Since we all have different personalities and so as our children. We just have to try different methods even we follow what the book says. Some children are easier, some are harder.