Does your baby cling to you a lot?
- Thread starter sorchului
- Start date
My baby is 5.5 month and I know what you mean by having trouble entertaining a baby. I rotate through like 10 of his toys and that kills like 30 minutes! When I'm tired of playing with him, I'll pass him on to my mom or my helper or daddy if he's around. Everyone has a different way of playing with him.
I am happy to meet up some time mid week either in Causeway Bay, or if you are up for a late afternoon beach outing in Stanley that'll be nice too.
I am happy to meet up some time mid week either in Causeway Bay, or if you are up for a late afternoon beach outing in Stanley that'll be nice too.
Replying to Sorchului
He doesn't like to watch tv but I will still keep the tv on. I keep trying to get him interested in other channels eg. Animal Planet and Nat Geo Wild but not for long (less than 5 mins). I've tried BB TV, Barney, Disney but to no avail. He still runs to mommy and kept saying "pou pou" (carry me!). Some suggests that I shd leave him with my helper and I tried one Sunday just to go out for dinner with my hubby but before we could even start eating, my panicked helper called for help. Could hear him crying his heart out at the background and helper was worried he might throw up on her again. Ended up I rushed home and brought them out. Had the feeling so we chose a restaurant nearby.
My mom had her share of experience months ago when she was here for my confinement. Left her with bb and helper ... when we came home, poor mom had a hard time consoling the crying baby and my mom used to be a baby sitter to at least 10 kids. Even mom told me that she's never seen such a hard to handle kid. From then on, I'm always at his side coz' no one dares to take up the challenge LOL!
But recently, for the past 2 weeks, I managed to have 2 hrs of free time each week when I left him with the helper at this playgroup which he likes. Still I had to leave the flat with them and do a disappearing act at the lobby. So far he's ok and I hope it stays that way. He's better in the day time now with some distractions but not at night. I thought breastfeeding was the reason but turns out he's still as clingy.
His nickname (given by most people) is "Little Koala Bear" (LKB) and right now LKB is stuck on my lap and refused to even touch the ground LOL! If I put him down, he will start crying and said "pou pou pou pou"!
Any other suggestions?
He doesn't like to watch tv but I will still keep the tv on. I keep trying to get him interested in other channels eg. Animal Planet and Nat Geo Wild but not for long (less than 5 mins). I've tried BB TV, Barney, Disney but to no avail. He still runs to mommy and kept saying "pou pou" (carry me!). Some suggests that I shd leave him with my helper and I tried one Sunday just to go out for dinner with my hubby but before we could even start eating, my panicked helper called for help. Could hear him crying his heart out at the background and helper was worried he might throw up on her again. Ended up I rushed home and brought them out. Had the feeling so we chose a restaurant nearby.
My mom had her share of experience months ago when she was here for my confinement. Left her with bb and helper ... when we came home, poor mom had a hard time consoling the crying baby and my mom used to be a baby sitter to at least 10 kids. Even mom told me that she's never seen such a hard to handle kid. From then on, I'm always at his side coz' no one dares to take up the challenge LOL!
But recently, for the past 2 weeks, I managed to have 2 hrs of free time each week when I left him with the helper at this playgroup which he likes. Still I had to leave the flat with them and do a disappearing act at the lobby. So far he's ok and I hope it stays that way. He's better in the day time now with some distractions but not at night. I thought breastfeeding was the reason but turns out he's still as clingy.
His nickname (given by most people) is "Little Koala Bear" (LKB) and right now LKB is stuck on my lap and refused to even touch the ground LOL! If I put him down, he will start crying and said "pou pou pou pou"!
Any other suggestions?
To W2BMOM
Wow. Your baby is very clingy....
Well, one solution I can think of is leave your baby with your helper more, let them spend more time together. Perhaps he will not get used to it in the beginning, but hopefully he will be OK later. It's just like sleep training.
Wow. Your baby is very clingy....
Well, one solution I can think of is leave your baby with your helper more, let them spend more time together. Perhaps he will not get used to it in the beginning, but hopefully he will be OK later. It's just like sleep training.
carang
Registered User
as a teacher, i can tell you that some children (a little older, say 1.5-3 yrs) use throwing up as a manipulative gesture. they KNOW mummy will stay, come home or whatever BECAUSE they threw up.
if your helper cannot manage your child for a few hours by herself, you need a new helper. running home because your child cried so much he threw up is not going to help matters, it will just make it worse. he's not sick. he's angry. he needs to learn how to deal with that.
i had a child come to my playgroup for over a year. his helper used to carry him in a chinese sling, even when he was over 2 years old. this boy whined and cried and whinged constantly. finally, when i suggested that the helper stop carrying him in the sling and she followed through this boy changed completely. he became a happy, well-rounded boy almost overnight.
i am by no means suggesting that you should let your child cry if he is in pain or sad. but you are only reinforcing the behaviour if you cater to his every whim. you need to remember that you are the parent adn that he is just angry. my daughter has a TERRIBLE temper and there are times that i just have to let her have her tantrum. when she's finished, she either goes to sleep or says "sorry" and gives me a hug.
i wish you luck. sounds like you all have your hands full.
if your helper cannot manage your child for a few hours by herself, you need a new helper. running home because your child cried so much he threw up is not going to help matters, it will just make it worse. he's not sick. he's angry. he needs to learn how to deal with that.
i had a child come to my playgroup for over a year. his helper used to carry him in a chinese sling, even when he was over 2 years old. this boy whined and cried and whinged constantly. finally, when i suggested that the helper stop carrying him in the sling and she followed through this boy changed completely. he became a happy, well-rounded boy almost overnight.
i am by no means suggesting that you should let your child cry if he is in pain or sad. but you are only reinforcing the behaviour if you cater to his every whim. you need to remember that you are the parent adn that he is just angry. my daughter has a TERRIBLE temper and there are times that i just have to let her have her tantrum. when she's finished, she either goes to sleep or says "sorry" and gives me a hug.
i wish you luck. sounds like you all have your hands full.
mscheerful
Registered User
my son will be 2.5 next month. He was all ok with Daddy or even grandparents if they are here but when he turned like slightly over one, he started to cling to me like a litch and like some of your kids, i can't even go to toilet or eat a peaceful meal if i leave him with his dad (no helper). However, i still let him cry with his dad and i told him mommy is going out to shopping or supermarket or..., i will be back in few hours time so you and daddy stay home. He will cry and i don't know what hubby dealt with him because i just don't want to call and told hubby not to call me unless he cannot handle at all. We use 3G so if we call he can see us so i try not to use that function. When i came home even he is crying when he sees me at the door but i will act like nothing happen and smile and tell him with excitement that mom has good time shopping or seeing friends and thank you for behaving and staying good with daddy and etc. Soon he learned that mom will come home and he felt secure. I can now leave the house with no problem at all. He will even say that mommy is going to see friends, shopping, facial or exercise and baby stays home with papa.
It was a whole lot of determination and work for few months but it surely worth it. He is happy either with papa or mommy or both his parents around. Most importantly, he is secure.
It was a whole lot of determination and work for few months but it surely worth it. He is happy either with papa or mommy or both his parents around. Most importantly, he is secure.
I don't quite agree with Carang re. the termination of my helper as I believe she tried her best. She's only been with us for 2 months so I don't think it's fair for her either. Also I know my son's character better than anyone else as I'm with him 24/7. I don't give in to his every whims and fancy. In fact I can be quite harsh towards him at times esp. when my patience runs out (who wouldn't with this kind of demand?). This I try really hard to improve on and create a balance so that things don't go out of hand.
Among other things, I make him sit in his naughty corner whenever he cries but feel guilty for doing so coz' he didn't do anything wrong except wanting to cling on to me. I can't possibly punish him for wanting to be close to me which is really a hard thing to do. But when I have to, I do it with no reservations even if he has to stand there with vomit all over him but he would end up being even more clingy. Could be he thought I'm trying to push him away and deny him the physical closeness. He loves to be kissed and cuddled and I do it to him all the time. Am I over-doing it? I've tried to be less physically close with him hoping that he will be a wee bit independent and play with his toys or explore other things but he would come and give me hugs and kisses to seek my attention. That would melt my heart instantly and the rest is history.
As exhausted as I am, I'm still finding better ways to work things out but at the same time, enjoying the special bonding we have now. I'm sure in no time, I will be missing this just as much as I'm missing the breastfeeding moments we had. Reminiscing the very first time he latched on and the quiet moments we spent together during his feedings ... Wow! how time flies!
Among other things, I make him sit in his naughty corner whenever he cries but feel guilty for doing so coz' he didn't do anything wrong except wanting to cling on to me. I can't possibly punish him for wanting to be close to me which is really a hard thing to do. But when I have to, I do it with no reservations even if he has to stand there with vomit all over him but he would end up being even more clingy. Could be he thought I'm trying to push him away and deny him the physical closeness. He loves to be kissed and cuddled and I do it to him all the time. Am I over-doing it? I've tried to be less physically close with him hoping that he will be a wee bit independent and play with his toys or explore other things but he would come and give me hugs and kisses to seek my attention. That would melt my heart instantly and the rest is history.
As exhausted as I am, I'm still finding better ways to work things out but at the same time, enjoying the special bonding we have now. I'm sure in no time, I will be missing this just as much as I'm missing the breastfeeding moments we had. Reminiscing the very first time he latched on and the quiet moments we spent together during his feedings ... Wow! how time flies!
My daughter (5 months old) loves it too when I play with her but cries when I lay her down. I get tired playing with her too ( I am a professional photographer). What I do is put her in my baby carrier and do my editing (I'm such a multitasker) and even walk around the house without necessarily having to play with her. She just loves looking around!
Even it gets exhausting I find this as a bonding time for us. I'm sure I'm going to miss that stage when she starts growing more and more!
Michelle
Baby, Children, Maternity, Family Photographer
Welcome to Garthe Photo Arts, Hong Kong
on summer sale!
Even it gets exhausting I find this as a bonding time for us. I'm sure I'm going to miss that stage when she starts growing more and more!
Michelle
Baby, Children, Maternity, Family Photographer
Welcome to Garthe Photo Arts, Hong Kong
on summer sale!
carang
Registered User
if your helper has only been with you for 2 months, then, yes she deserves a little more time. however, i think, you really need to leave the baby with her more often. maybe for 15 minutes at a time to start with. and gradually make it longer so that your baby has a chance to get used to her taking care of him.
i also agree that a time will come that he doesn't want you anymore... and that time comes all too soon!
i also agree that a time will come that he doesn't want you anymore... and that time comes all too soon!