difficult to make 4 yr to sit down to read
- Thread starter meenu
- Start date
Jayden
Registered User
Hi Meenu,
Does he watch a lot of TV? I read somewhere that one of the primary causes of lack of interest to reading is because of too much TV. You see, the stimulation doesn't compare to watching TV. From about 2 years old, children should not watch more than 1-2 hours of TV per day. Otherwise it saps their interest in reading inanimate books.
If this might be the case, then I am not sure what can be done about it in the short term but maybe you can find out more if you determine this might be the root cause.
Does he watch a lot of TV? I read somewhere that one of the primary causes of lack of interest to reading is because of too much TV. You see, the stimulation doesn't compare to watching TV. From about 2 years old, children should not watch more than 1-2 hours of TV per day. Otherwise it saps their interest in reading inanimate books.
If this might be the case, then I am not sure what can be done about it in the short term but maybe you can find out more if you determine this might be the root cause.
Some four year olds are able without any difficulty to sit still and others aren’t. This mainly comes down to a matter of personality. Just as adults have different personality types so too do children.
I run a workshop for parents using the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, which is a personality test for adults that has 16 different personality types.
http://www.geobaby.com/Mothering-Styles-Workshop_L435
The book Nurture by Nature: Understanding Your Child’s Personality Type – And Become A Better Parent by Paul D. Tieger & Barbara Barron-Teiger explains how these 16 types show themselves in children.
There is one type, an ESTP (this jargon is explained fully in the book) which the book describes as, “ESTP preschoolers are curious and interested in checking new things out but rarely like to do anything sedentary or quiet.” If your child is this type it may be a few more years before he is really happy doing anything which requires sitting down for long periods of time.
There is an interesting free personality test for children at http://www.personalitypage.com/cgi-local/build_pqk.cgi
However this tests requires the child to be at least 7 years old. If your child/baby is younger then the above book is a better option to understanding more about him/her.
I found learning about personality types really helped me have an individual approach for each of my children. It helped me understand why one enjoyed going out all the time and another preferred to stay at home. And it was a huge help to understand the different learning styles they had when I had to do “homework duty”. Not only did I find the information about personalities insightful but it was also fun!
Best wishes,
SARAH
I run a workshop for parents using the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, which is a personality test for adults that has 16 different personality types.
http://www.geobaby.com/Mothering-Styles-Workshop_L435
The book Nurture by Nature: Understanding Your Child’s Personality Type – And Become A Better Parent by Paul D. Tieger & Barbara Barron-Teiger explains how these 16 types show themselves in children.
There is one type, an ESTP (this jargon is explained fully in the book) which the book describes as, “ESTP preschoolers are curious and interested in checking new things out but rarely like to do anything sedentary or quiet.” If your child is this type it may be a few more years before he is really happy doing anything which requires sitting down for long periods of time.
There is an interesting free personality test for children at http://www.personalitypage.com/cgi-local/build_pqk.cgi
However this tests requires the child to be at least 7 years old. If your child/baby is younger then the above book is a better option to understanding more about him/her.
I found learning about personality types really helped me have an individual approach for each of my children. It helped me understand why one enjoyed going out all the time and another preferred to stay at home. And it was a huge help to understand the different learning styles they had when I had to do “homework duty”. Not only did I find the information about personalities insightful but it was also fun!
Best wishes,
SARAH
meenu
Registered User
difficult to make 4 yr old sit down and read
Dear Sarah,
Thanks for ur reply. I was not in HK for a few weeks.
Many people have told me the same thing. Actually, when I make him sit to do his school homework like writing ABC'S or 123....etc or give me extra pages to practice he never wants to do them. I get angry he finally does it. When it comes to reading story books he is too interested and wants me to read all the books to him . on the other hand when I ask him to read to me the same books he does not want. He can read quite well and therefore I want him to practice a little.
He also lacks persistence . He is doing quite well in his school right now. My real worry is that will this continue into the future or will he ever learn to sit in a place for a while and finish his task. I have read a book saying that with high persistence are better achievers. I am glad to learn from you that this may change later on.
I will try to get the book suggested by you.
Are there any activities which will help to increase the persistence and concentration in kids at this age?
Dear Sarah,
Thanks for ur reply. I was not in HK for a few weeks.
Many people have told me the same thing. Actually, when I make him sit to do his school homework like writing ABC'S or 123....etc or give me extra pages to practice he never wants to do them. I get angry he finally does it. When it comes to reading story books he is too interested and wants me to read all the books to him . on the other hand when I ask him to read to me the same books he does not want. He can read quite well and therefore I want him to practice a little.
He also lacks persistence . He is doing quite well in his school right now. My real worry is that will this continue into the future or will he ever learn to sit in a place for a while and finish his task. I have read a book saying that with high persistence are better achievers. I am glad to learn from you that this may change later on.
I will try to get the book suggested by you.
Are there any activities which will help to increase the persistence and concentration in kids at this age?
I think characterizing your 4 year old as lacking persistance when he is currently doing fine in school might cause you some problems in the future. Your son may not want to "sit and read" if you are approaching him in the context of a power struggle. Achievement is important, but self-esteem is just as important.
Maybe if you relaxed a bit and continued reading to him? Try and enjoy your time with him. Getting angry and characterizing him as having no persistance makes the experience unenjoyable for him and frustrating for you!
Maybe if you relaxed a bit and continued reading to him? Try and enjoy your time with him. Getting angry and characterizing him as having no persistance makes the experience unenjoyable for him and frustrating for you!
I agree. Reading is supposed to be fun. Forcing him to do it will not help in the long run. He will end up never wanting to read. If he enjoys being read to, then read to him. He probably prefers that because you can spend time with him at the same time. Play games together when you read to him, like you read one word, he does the next. Make reading fun. PLay board games together where he would need to read off cards,ect.
Louiseamanda
Registered User
Hi
I agree with some posters.You cannot (as I guess you've discovered) 'make' your child read/write will never win. If he is 4y he is too young for 'homework'.
My child is nearly 6 and doesnt get any homework til next year.
An idea would be to use flash cards or play games so he can read the words.
Find things he IS interested in and use this to stimulate him.
If this doesn't work, carry on reading him stories a while longer. Give him some comfort, not stress him out by getting angry. I guess he is tired aftrer school?
IN some countries they dont even start primary education til 6y and they have as good results at 18y as any other.
Happy playing!
L
I agree with some posters.You cannot (as I guess you've discovered) 'make' your child read/write will never win. If he is 4y he is too young for 'homework'.
My child is nearly 6 and doesnt get any homework til next year.
An idea would be to use flash cards or play games so he can read the words.
Find things he IS interested in and use this to stimulate him.
If this doesn't work, carry on reading him stories a while longer. Give him some comfort, not stress him out by getting angry. I guess he is tired aftrer school?
IN some countries they dont even start primary education til 6y and they have as good results at 18y as any other.
Happy playing!
L
meenu said:
One thing I would do with my son (and still do sometimes) is take turns. I read a sentence, then he reads a sentence. Or, he reads 1 page and I read the next. This helped stop fights about reading things.
Does he get to choose the books he reads? If not, let him chose from the library or bookstore and say that if he reads it himself, then you will take him to get more?
meenu said:
Does he lack persistence in things he likes? For example, I have a hard time getting my son to practice his Chinese characters. He'll stop very quickly. But, he will spend up to an hour at a time all by himself assembling lego structures or building Gundam creatures without any assistance, overcoming difficulties. So, his problem is not persistence itself, but the discipline to sit down and do what interests him less. For the writing, we do a mixture of helping, cajoling, bribery, and threats.
I think your son sounds like he's doing very well in terms of academics for a four-year-old.